106: How to Create a Life of Pleasure (While Still Paying the Bills)

Hi, and welcome back to Reclamation Radio. I am Dr. Kelly Brogan. And what I love about my containers is that the women I attract always have some audacious questions to ask me. So it's my intention for the musings that I share on these topics to grow the permission field of what's possible and also to offer relatable reframes that can jailbreak you from your victim stories. So you might notice that I'm a bit more familiar and free when I'm answering these questions in our private spaces. So take a listen. And I hope you'll take the opportunity to submit your questions to me in my membership Vital Life project. Today's question. I'm currently single. And when it comes to career, I want to know how you prioritize things that bring you joy and also simultaneously allow you to pay the bills while still maintaining that feminine flow. I love this question. I have dear friends who can relate, you know, very intimately to what you're describing, which is I have, If I could paraphrase, like I have a sense that there is a more beautiful, fulfilling and pleasurable, spacious life experience available to me. And I have no idea how to get there from where I am in my, I don't know if it's a nine to five, but like, you know, in my nine to five paying the bills and where is the room for me to like, you know, self-pleasure for three hours on a Wednesday, Kelly, because I actually have to, you know, answer both because living a life where you're totally like in control of your time and you are the one who designs your day, it sounds great. And for many of us, it's way too much, way too much freedom, way too, too many variables to determine. There's way too much room to confront the part of us that thinks we're going to do that wrong, right? Like what if I get there, I make this life. I trust the universe. Like I even make sacrifices and, and then I don't even know how to live, you know, an empowered, pleasure-filled life. Like there is a part of you, I imagine that is worried about that. And so as you grow your capacity to appreciate what's going on right now, right. In, in all of its shittiness, that will only help you bridge from where you are now to where you're going. What happened where I get caught sometimes, right? Like I want to move, right? And so I've been in this practice of like appreciating aspects of my current home and home experience. And then I am like oh but that going to mean you know so consciously I going to attach to this And then the universe is going to think that I want to stay here but I don want to stay here So I don like it Do you get that message I don like it I want something different. Right. But that's, that's not how it works, you know, and Esther Hicks talks about this all the time. Obviously it's her whole message, which is that, you know, getting into, it's also somatic experiencing messaging, like getting into the feeling of what it is that you think is over there, you can start to do now, right? So I've talked about this in BLP before, but like, let's say I want like this really bright kitchen, like a bright white kitchen. And right now my, my kitchen's very gray and like, kind of like dark and I don't like it, right? Okay. So I'm going to wait for the white kitchen. And when I have the white kitchen, then I'll be happy. Or is there any way I can bring the experience of a bright white kitchen, right? What if I get those like pretty jars that like fancy ladies put like seeds in and shit. Like what if I, you know, I ended up painting a brick wall white. You know what? It changed my life. And why the hell am I painting something that I'm going to like sell soon or whatever? Because now matters because today matters. And because you're not living your life for when it happens, that's just lame. right? So today matters. And you're going to find little ways to bring the experience of this, this life you imagine is out there into your life today. But first there's a couple of things you might want to like journal about, right? One is what do you think is over there, right? What becomes available to you through this life that you want? So first you describe the life, like literally what time do you wake up? What kind of underwear do you put on? What toothpaste do you use? What does your perfect day look like? Let's say it's coming in five years. So five years on a Tuesday, you're going to tell yourself exactly how that Tuesday is going to look. And then you're going to say, okay, so who gives, right? That was like a 90s flashback expression. You have to recognize what you're going to get from that that you don't have now, you think. Okay. So I'm going to feel free. I'm going to feel empowered. I'm going to feel sexy, whatever. Okay. And get as specific as you can. I'm going to really love being able to like wake up and do whatever I want until 11 AM, or I'm going to really love, you know, so what are you going to get from that that you don't have now? And then is there any way that you could bring little bits of that stuff those feelings into your life right now right So I give you an example I wanted to feel like this safe erotic love experiencing this new partnership right That I going to have So let's say safety. I want to feel safety. Of course, we've talked about ways to create safety for ourselves, but on a very literal level, how can I create more safety for myself in my life? I came up with the fact that I feel relatively unsafe and guarded all the time in my house, because I don't know when my pool guy is going to come clean my damn pool. Because he just like comes in the backyard. And all I had to do was call the company and say, listen, I need to be informed an hour before he shows up, at least. They were like, no problem. Now I feel safer, right? So that's what I mean. It's not like you're going to like bring like a couple of hours of the amazing life into your shitty life. It's not like that. It's like, what do you get there? How can you bring yourself little flavors of it now with little changes, right? I want like harmony in my life, right? And peace, right? I drive a car and it like makes all these insanely neurotic, anxious noises. like anytime I'm even remotely close to anything. It's like a joke with my girls. Like it's so, she's so anxious that she's like an entity in our like family, right? She's like, it's beeping. Okay, I've had this car for two years. Finally, I valued my here and now experiences. Of course, I'm fantasizing about my next car, but my leads isn't up, whatever. My here and now experience, I took 10 minutes to research how to modify the volume, the tone and to turn some of them off. That took 10 minutes. My entire quality of life is different because of that. I'm serious, right? So there are these little ways that you can just start to attend specifically to bring yourself aspects of the experience that you imagine are only available. And then lastly, what are you getting out of where you are now? We always get our needs met, not always in the ways we want them to be, right? But what are you getting out of your situation right now that would actually be lost if you were to change and grow into this new life. Structure, stability, you know, reputation, whatever. Feedback, whatever it is. There are things that you're getting that you're going to have to find elsewhere or provide for yourself. So what are you getting out of your situation that you say you don like right now And you know yeah there are it like two sides right Like there are things that we say we don want that we actually do and need And then there are things that we say we want that we actually don and can handle And so the process of just at least being aware that that's true, that helps. But then also the process of like really getting some intimacy. That's why I love Carolyn Elliott's exercise called Deepest Fear Inventory, where you basically, you know it? So you basically just like write out, Like I want to work for myself. Okay. That's what's it. Right. So then you say, I absolutely refuse to work for myself because I have a deep fear that I will dot, dot, dot. And then you just make your list and you do it every day for a week until you're like, okay, got it. I didn't actually want that thing. Okay. I'm going to now align with the good feelings I say are over there in my life now. And I'm going to know what's coming because it is, you wouldn't want it if it wasn't coming. It's coming. It's coming. you know, and how and what the journey is going to look like. It's not really up to you. And that's where of course this like deep bell surrender I referenced and really finding whatever it is that you call your connection to something bigger, finding God. It's the moment, ladies. It is the moment, you know, to walk the walk. Like, do you really, do you really trust? Of course, it's trusting the masculine, right? Like, do you really trust that we are in that container that is leak proof. Do you really trust that, you know, you are supported, protected, provided for and nothing's ever going to happen that you can't handle and that everything that happens, what you want, it's tough, but it helps when you can start to like get into the practice of it. It's funny, actually, it becomes fun. So people love to ask me questions and I love to ask questions of others because inquiry is play, but some of my interviews and answers are too hot to handle for Reclamation Radio. So in my membership Vital Life Project, I have created a private podcast that gets delivered to wherever you listen to podcasts where I answer your questions that arise because of my provocative subject matter. And I also share interviews that might otherwise be censored that I call the Sovereignty Series. So you'll get access to these private podcasts and a private chat by joining my membership Vital Life Project. I'll see you in there. 편ine ch Stage