170: How to Become Motivated Instantly

Maybe you're doing a lot right. You're working out, you're eating decently, and still your body feels puffy, your hair feels thinner, and your skin feels creepy. You were taught to call that aging, but I am choosing not to. I don't believe that beauty is vanity. I believe it's a hobby. It's a skill. It's something that you can practice and learn at any age. So I'm hosting a free beauty backroom event for midlife women who are ready to glow up and feel leaner, stronger, and more radiant than they have perhaps in their entire life. I will be sharing exactly what I've done over the past couple of months to do just that. So if 2026 is your rebrand year, come play with me. KellyBrokenMD.com forward slash BB. Hi, and welcome back to Reclamation Radio. I am Dr. Kelly Brogan. And one of the things that I love about my containers is that the women I attract always have audacious questions to ask me. So it's my intention for the musings that I share on these topics to grow the permission field of what's possible, and also to offer relatable reframes that can jailbreak you from your victim stories. So you might notice that I'm a bit more familiar and free when I'm answering these questions in our private spaces. So take a listen and enjoy. So ladies, the recording from Audacious Embodiment 2 in Miami, 2026 edition, is now available so that you can take these practices into your life, expand your pleasure fields by knowing your no and yaying your yes, and enjoy the eight costume changes I made over the course of the workshop. You'll understand why I am obsessed with permission fields, pattern disrupts, and polarity, all from the comfort of your cozy home. From twerking, to pleasure theory, to hip hop, to Osho dynamic meditation, family constellation, we removed blocks to erotic energy and we left hotter, bolder, and more audacious. So get in on it. hellibroganmd.com forward slash AE2. Today's audacious ask is, I'm wondering how much importance discipline plays in your daily lifestyle. Do you have any thoughts or tips on how one can motivate oneself to execute the things we are actively choosing for ourselves. Also, why is this so hard? It helps me to think about this sort of like inner father, inner mother, inner masculine, inner feminine to organize my energies. And I was reflecting recently, like last night, I think about how challenging it is for all of us, men and women to mature this masculine and reclaim, honestly, like this inner masculine and how the feminine, from what I'm sort of feeling, it just naturally expresses and blossoms when the masculine is in check. Check is the wrong word. When the masculine is mature, right? It like properly expressed And I explain what I mean by that which is that like I don know how hard we have to work to open our hearts I don know how hard we have to work to feel feelings men and women alike right Like I don know how hard we have to work to come into contact with our creativity and our intuition I think that just may kind of occur, right? When the conditions are set to provide ourselves safety and containment and an experience of integrity around our choices, our commitments, our word, our follow through, and the way that we perceive what is around us and take right action. Those are all masculine qualities. So, you know, we, many of us have this, this sort of inner tyrant, right? This sort of like immature, toxic, if you will, such an overused word, inner masculine that bullies us, right? I certainly do. and this energy of relating to our productivity through coercion and self-flagellation is a very immature expression of that, right? So the truth is that if you don't actually want to do something, maybe you shouldn't do it, okay? Like maybe you should honor that and meet yourself where you are for a period of time so that your inner landscape actually recognizes that you are trustworthy, right? That you're listening, right? Then there may come a time where you can start to see that, oh, there's more than just one part here. There's two parts, three parts, four parts. There is the part that feels tired and wants to rest. There is the part that knows what is best for me to do right now. And then there, you know, there is the part that is unsure of whether or not, Like I'm the best one to make the decisions for myself. And maybe I should consult a guru or expert or whatever, because what am I even doing here? And so, and, and maybe many more. So we've all had the experience. I have it often. I love dancing. Okay. I love dancing. It's practically my religion. And yet I will have a class on the schedule and I will literally eight times out of 10, not want to go. I'll not want to go and I'll feel burdened by it. And I'll feel like, oh, I wonder maybe I should just skip this one. I have like other things to do, or maybe I just want to rest and relax. And again, there's a part of me that knows that when I go, I will have an experience that will pay such dividends that I'll look back on the part that said, maybe I shouldn't go. I'd be like, you have no idea what you're talking about to you. I'm not trusting you ever again. Right. but I do think that connecting to not connecting organizing these parts that's the role of your meta self self with a capital s that's your role is to see all of these parts to hear all of these voices and to sit back you know and take them all in listen listen to all their reasons and all of their, you know, sort of desires that may be very much conflicting and to recognize that, you know, when something is right for you, it's going to come into your field with consistency, even if there a little bit of around it like you know so the initial stages of maturing the masculine I do think require support right And accountability That why we do things in groups That why we are often like witnessed, you know, uh, in our processes and it helps us to do that, you know, really like in the, in the ethos and mentality of I don't mind reset. And I know that the intensity that I come at that program with, you know, it's like go big or go home, do the damn thing. That is, it's a bit of the, what's called the you stress, like EU stress that a loving father would offer. It's like, am I going to take any less than what I know you can express and what you can do because I already see it. So do it. So it's, it's not the coddling meet you where you are energy, right? So there comes a time in your life where you initiate to that masculine capacity. And I actually think it comes in layers. Like I made a list recently and I don't have it handy. I made a list recently of in the past year, the ways that I have matured my masculine, including things, you know, like learning about trust law, you know, leasing a car by myself for the first time, you know, these like very mundane real estate stuff, these very mundane secular things that I thought, you know, some man is going to come and figure this out for me. I don't want to figure it out. It's too complicated. I don't like it, you know, whatever. And in going through these exercises and engaging these practices of expanding my competence, I actually feel safer in the world. It's interesting, right? Like, and it's not because I got myself, you know, and I'm good. I don't need anyone. I need lots of people, okay? It's not that I don't need anyone. It's just that now I have a sense of like, I can take even more responsibility on and I'm not afraid of that responsibility, right? So this came, I don't know, 10 plus years later after I took responsibility for my daily lifestyle choices, which is something like a VMR type of a thing. So there comes a time where you initiate yourself and maybe there's many initiations where you set the container and you actually do the damn thing. And you wouldn't do that unless there was a consensus. These parts had a consensus, right? Because it's not going to be a fulfilling experience if you just muscle through. You're not going to get anything out of it. So that's not the way. The way is when there's enough of a consensus between your parts that moving in the direction, maybe you've heard me say this, moving in the direction of this change, of this greater level of personal responsibility, of this exploration of what discipline in this area versus this area would look like for you. It actually feels at worst like relief and at best delightful, right? So I took on for months now, a daily like vocal warmup practice, right? And yes, it was on my to-do list, you know, as something to do on my to-do list. However, I was inspired by the opportunity to expand my vocal range and capacity. I wanted to be able to more playfully and confidently sing. And that's why I did it, right? So it's not like, unlike the alcohol cessation, it's like when you connect to a good why, it becomes perhaps something on your to list but it something that you looking forward to checking off right And so connecting to the pleasure of it like the inspiration of it the promise of it And the last thing I say is that there are many things that I engage that I kind of don't want to, that I do for in devotion to my future self. Like literally doing the dishes is one of them. Don't like that. Really would love one day to have somebody who is here every day doing the dishes for me, okay? And I don't have that. So at this point, I am doing the dishes. Even when I'm by myself, like the amount of dishes I somehow generate is like mind boggling. And I will do them out of devotion to my future self. When my future self walks in the kitchen and sees this like gleaming sink that is empty, that feels really good. And so as an offering to my future self, I'm going to engage in the discipline of doing the damn dishes, right? And of course, there are ways that I can bring more pleasure to the experience of doing the dishes, right? I could put music on or maybe even listen to something or maybe I do my vocal warmups then, right? And so you can get creative once there is a connection to something that makes it, that distinguishes it from our like school-based experience of compliance and obedience. When we are offering ourselves that energy, it's just a trauma field. So get to know why it is that you don't want to do the thing. Listen and don't make that part wrong. Listen to the part that says do the thing and really listen. Don't make that part right. And come into that like relaxed seat where you determine, okay, maybe it's time to actually meet this part that says it's not time to do the thing. And really, we're going to honor that part. Or maybe it's time to actually like, you know, connect to the why and the pleasure of it. And we're going to honor the part that says to do the thing. We're going to do that. Right. And then, you know, maybe there is this window of time where you are invested in follow through and the integrity of your word. Right. Because you want to have an experience of maturing your masculine through this responsibility, through this discipline. And then maybe there are other times in your life where you relax that, right? Like I had a 5 a.m. sadhana practice for over five years. I never missed a damn day ever. Like I would go out clubbing, come home at three in the morning and be up at five. So that changed for me in 2020, actually, where I came to the place where that orientation towards myself started to feel rigid, dogmatic, and unloving. But if I approached myself initially with that, then I might not have the security and safety that comes from knowing that when I make a decision, I honor my word, that there is a presence here that can take responsibility. responsibility. Once you know you have that, there's more fluidity. It's like once the masculine container is set, the feminine can play. Thank you.