176: Why Women Were Trained to Suppress Their Eroticism | Regena Thomashauer

We have an organ on our body that's sole purpose is pleasure. And if we're not tuning ourselves to having 10,000 of our thoughts every day about our pleasure, that we're not really living the design of what it means to be a woman. We were told that we're too emotional or can't you just tone it down? And the answer is no, we cannot. Now it is time to turn it way up. Every woman who is currently listening to this podcast has essence of almost like a generation of reclamation. That there's a purpose that we are here for that is in some way standing for a truth that this patriarchal world culture has temporarily forgotten. So here's the thing. No one is coming to turn you on. Not your husband. Not the right mood. Not the right moment. Not good weather. Contrary to popular belief, turn on is a skill. It's not something that just happens to you. It's something you can actually learn. And when you do, you live in a world of yes, of possibilities and of sweetness. If you'd rather scroll or watch TV than make love, if you feel like you have to try hard to be sexy and plan lovemaking for it to be exciting, if you think low libido is just part of perimenopause, if you judge or resent other women and have grown a bit bitter, then my free turn-on training with a very special guest is for you. We'll cover the real reason that desire disappears in long-term relationships, the four turn-on myths that are keeping women tense and pleasure-starved, and the simple skills to reconnect to desire on your own terms. No therapy, no retreats, no performative theatrics required. Claim a limited spot at kellybroganmd.com forward slash turn on. So I'm in my gifts and receiving era and I want to share the abundance by gifting one of you lovelies each week a free beauty backroom peptide perfecting complex face serum or moisturizer. Here's what you do. You drop a celebration blast in the comments across any of the platforms. Something you're excited about, proud of or loving about yourself. And you start it with the phrase my blast. This product is all of my skincare dreams come true, so I cannot wait to get it in your hands. Hi, and welcome back to Reclamation Radio. I'm Dr. Kelly Brogan, and today I have on my friend and ally, Regina Tomashauer, who is better known as Mama Gina. She's the author of five books, including The Notorious Pussy, a Reclamation, which is a New York Times bestseller. And she's also the founder of the School of Womenly Arts. She has a new book out called On Our Knees that I had the pleasure of reading. And we unpack so many of the gems of this guide and memoir, including why and how pleasure is a choice, including the ways that she advises women to relate to their impulses and to fall in love unconditionally with their story. and you can also move through a practice that she put me on the spot to experience. I ended up literally weeping on my own podcast after a few minutes of her demonstrating this practice with me. So I hope that this is something that you can even, you know, put into your afternoon and feel a little taste of how easy it can be to eroticize your body and to engage some of what she calls volitional heat. Regina, welcome to the show. So delighted, thrilled, honored, spectacular to be here, Kelly. Thank you. Like I said a moment ago, it is such a pleasure always to connect to you. And I was telling you that I just finished your absolute fucking page turner of a book. And I'm so excited to unpack it today and to showcase a lot of the gems. As I was reading it, I was really reflecting on how our paths have intertwined and almost like putting myself in your story. Like I remember a dinner that we had before I moved to Miami in New York. And so I was thinking about our paths and how different they've been. So the 10 years that I spent as a psychiatrist in New York in the trenches with suicidal women coming off of medications and how much of the darkness I was trafficking in and how much of your earlier career to many who were onlooking might have thought, oh, this is just about play and pleasure and the lightness. lightness, but how, you know, impossibly inextricable those dimensions are and how I feel like we've both come to the very same conclusion that a woman's journey is about aliveness, right? And erotically charged a lot. Like an animated vessel, right? And I talk a lot about what it feels like to be around certain women. And I spent time with you in person and you are the example and have been as long as I've known you of this embodiment. And it's not what many would imagine, I think, when they think about like an erotically charged woman who, you know, is dressed a certain way or speaking a certain way about certain things. it's a kind of effervescence. It's an energetic, like I'm going to throw some fancy word, like ebullience. Like it's, you just, you bubble over and it's your heart, but it's also this permission to be real. I don't know how else to say it. That comes through your body. And this aliveness is something that I think we can detect. Like our animal bodies detected in one another. And I think it's also, I think of that, you know, because my new book On Our Knees is really about that erotic aliveness, which for me is the same word as divinity. It's the same word as life force. It's the force that, you know, makes, you know, flows through the wind, crashes through the ocean, the moonlight, the starlight, the sunlight. That alive, living, breathing her, which is the divine feminine that we get to experience when we are alive on this planet, on this earth, our mother, that allows the breath to go through our bodies and just saying yes to the fullness of that life force is something that I've experienced you do with every passing year. is you say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You know, almost like you cannot stop yourself from moving in the direction of what's giving you life, of what desires are calling you. And I think that's when we really get to live the fullness of the woman that we are. I love that. I love that. And I've said, also because I like to be a provocateur, that a woman alive is the most dangerous force on this plane, right? You and I know how disruptive in the most sacred way a woman who has reclaimed this experience of her body is. And I want to tee you up with a quote from your book. I told you I'm going to book report a little bit where you say, this is earlier on in the book, and you say, people think my classes were about sex. They weren't. They were about aliveness, about women learning to access their own circuitry again. You could feel it in the room, thousands of women in sequins and feathers and lingerie, roaring with laughter, sobbing with recognition, claiming their desires out loud for the first time. It was church. It was comedy. It was chaos. It was the divine feminine plugging herself back into the grid. And what I want to ask you is, why do you think we have to reclaim this? Why did we incarnate in this place to have to go on this journey of reclamation around something that was our birthright, something that was innately present with our first breath? Is that your sense of why we even came here to experience the delight of what it is to re-encounter this aliveness anew? Because even in your writing, I can feel myself in the room. I can sense that prism of different energies and how absolutely transformational it is. But I wonder, metaphysically, what do you make of the arc of the journey? Because that's really so much of what your book is about, is loving the narrative, loving the story, loving that you fucking came here for this for some crazy reason, and you're not alone. and that there's so many of us who are walking with you. Yeah, it's a really super interesting question, right? Because you're badass, a rebellious badass. I'm a provocateur, both of us, each in our own way. And I feel like we are part of, and I'm going to go this far, I'm going to say every woman who is currently right now listening to this podcast has essence of high priestess, essence of almost like a generation of reclamation, that there's a purpose that we are here for that is beyond our small human form, that is in some way standing for a truth that this patriarchal world culture that we have the privilege and the challenge of living inside of has temporarily forgotten, which is that we live in a world where religion is basically so masculinized. We've got Jesus. We have all the Abrahamic traditions, Moses, Buddha, Mohammed. The divine feminine has been temporarily, the thread has been lost or disconnected. And it's a huge loss. It's created a big imbalance in our world. And we've all experienced this imbalance of like where the masculine wing of the culture is so overdeveloped and the feminine wing is so shrunken that we're flying in circles going nowhere and witnessing the destruction of this planet and political situation that we would no one would wish for in wars and climate and so forth. So we're living in a time where the voice of the feminine is so required, needed. It's like the greatest untapped natural resource that we have. And the time to tap is now. And so I wanted to write this book because it was time for the stories of the goddesses to begin to fly free. You know, if we were alive 5,000, 10,000, 50,000 years ago, God and goddess sat side by side. The divine feminine was considered as worthy of worship as the divine masculine. And we don't live in a world like that right now. So I think that we all have this task called bring her back into consciousness. And it starts with us. we have to fall so irrevocably in love with ourselves that we stand for the full wild nature of the feminine in a way she hasn't been stood for. And then we teach that to our daughters and our sons and the world begins to shift and it doesn't take that long. Yeah, it doesn't. We can feel it speeding up anyway. Yeah. Yeah. If you're sensitive to, yeah, these collective swirls, The invocation of the goddesses, because you sort of frame the book through the lens of these different stories, I see as providing both a template for a shade of the feminine, but also a permission field. And I'm big into permission fields because whatever you might say about my audacity, there was a woman who gave me permission before I expressed, always. And I sometimes talk about this vision I have of this dark tunnel we walk as women and yet there these warm hands always I don know why it always makes me tear up It like when I think about this it like that we do this for each other It just feels like a safer world And our mutual friend Omer Pani would say that women find, you know this, I know this, containment in each other, right? Like perhaps biologically, we were designed to most readily receive it from a big, strong man, but we find it when we are together in a group. And he would say like, that's why women go to the bathroom together, right? Like at the club. And there's something so like I can rest existentially around this reality that anytime I want to open, I feel that stirring. There's a hand in the dark for me. Like, hey, come this way. And she's just a few steps ahead of me or maybe many in your case. And it feels like even though you created this mandala of goddesses, that you yourself, like the protagonist in your story, you, are such a huge permission field grantor. And in your story, the vulnerability of your story. I was joking when we first started. I was like, oh, we need to catch up. And I was like, actually, we don't because I read your book and now I know what the fuck is going on. Like, I feel very caught up. It's so personal. It's so vulnerable. and it gives everyone reading many dimensions of permission. And the one that I really want to focus on, I think of as being, because it's very on brand for me when it comes to personal responsibility, I think as being the most annoying and also empowering reality, which is the responsibility that we have as women for our own turn on. And the ways that you give permission to explore that in this book are very concrete. Like you tell many stories about how you might have wanted to stay contracted in your victimhood and you chose pleasure instead. You call it, I love this phrase, volitional heat at times, right? And so when we as women have a long list of resistance-inducing factors when it comes to pleasure, like the weather's bad, our husband sucks, we didn't earn it, we don't deserve it. There's just the whole psychological accordion of reasons that we distance ourselves from pleasure. And you collapse that. And you say, in a moment, you can choose this. And for me, I understand what you're saying. And I know that. And I want to make sure that every woman listening leaves this conversation with a, you know, I can't unsee it, reframe around this and what it means to you. Because that, to me, is what you showcase through your stories. It's the permission that you give us to let it be messy, to let it be an exploratory process, but to stay fucking committed. to stay committed to our own self-eroticism, self-arousal, and personal turn-on as a choice. Yeah, totally. I love that you grabbed that concept of volitional heat, and it's really what inspired this book. I love the book cover so much. You'll have to forgive it. I just love it so much because, and the book is written for any woman who literally finds herself on her knees. And there's so many moments in life that we are brought to our knees, you know, whether it's childbirth, whether it's sexual surrender, whether it's at the hospital, when the monitor flat lines we know will never hold our beloved again. When we are at the graveside, when our child is lost and we can't cross the divide to extend a hand or help, when there's so many moments where financial collapse, overwork, stress, caretaking that women move through in their lives and where we find ourselves in that place of either losing connection with God or goddess and falling to our knees. And I wanted to write this book, first of all, because that is a place where we as women must meet. We have to allow ourselves to collapse, have to allow ourselves to not have to settle for, I'm fine. It's okay. I can handle it. It's time that we gave ourselves permission to like fall totally and completely into the fullness of the rich emotional consequences of whatever experience we're going through. And still love our lives, no matter what is happening. And still connect with that erotic aliveness. And that's the permission that the goddesses give in that book of how do you stay when you've lost everything? How do you stay connected to that life force that beats within you? And that is actually the nature of the feminine body. You know, we are she who bleeds but does not die and gives life. and we are that when we've lost everything and when we've been gifted with everything we could have dreamed. And so it's how do we learn to celebrate all facets and because we are always held, you know, with every breath we are actually held by the goddess. So it's a book that teaches a woman how to practice that ability ability to turn her life on no matter what's happening, which is, it's not a simple matter because we wanted, you know, we were told that we're too much or we're too emotional or, you know, can't you just tone it down? And the answer is no, we cannot, not now. Now it is time to turn it way up in all of the fullness of this privilege and this gift of a life, no matter what is happening. We are going to turn that on. So yes, volitional heat. Yeah, give us a story. Give us a story that exemplifies what it can look like for a woman to love her life even when she hates it or to stay in this animated, open, moving energy state even when she... Maybe you're doing a lot right. You're working out, you're eating decently, and still your body feels puffy, your hair feels thinner, and your skin feels crepey. You were taught to call that aging, but I am choosing not to. I don't believe that beauty is vanity. I believe it's a hobby. It's a skill. It's something that you can practice and learn at any age. So I'm hosting a free beauty backroom event for midlife women who are ready to glow up and feel leaner, stronger, and more radiant than they have perhaps in their entire life. I will be sharing exactly what I've done over the past couple of months to do just that. So 2026 is your rebrand year. Come play with me. KellyBrokenMD.com forward slash BB. gets real okay right because i think some women might listen or you know i might even through the way i've explained it uh and and think like oh that just means i prioritize self-pleasuring on Wednesday. But you're talking about something deeper. You're talking about a lifestyle, a comportment towards one's reality. And I think it's really well illustrated when the shit hits the fan, right? What does it look like for a woman to stay turned on and to prioritize that in the midst of the irrepressible desire to collapse, contract, and go into the poor me, no fair, I fucking hate this, psychology. Okay, I'll give you an example. When I had like this huge, when my daughter was about seven, I divorced, I recognized that I had to divorce her father because it came back from book tour and there was a lien against us because of unpaid taxes. And so I realized like, oh, whoa, this marriage that I knew needed to come to an end, I was going to have to end the marriage. Then I was going to have to stop being a hippie chick who had classes in her living room and wrote books on the side. As she raised her daughter, I was going to actually have to make some motherfucking money because I was going to need to take care of me and my kid. And so I decide to move my classes from my living room into a bigger venue, literally collected every single dollar I had to book a venue for one night to sell a brand new program that was going to be like five times as expensive as anything I'd ever done before. And the very day of the event that would have the chance to lift me from, you know, very small time Mama Gina in the living room to big time Mama Gina at a it wasn't that big. It was 150 person venue, but it was big for me. I get sued. I get a fax machine that seems sputters out that I'm getting sued by the company that an employee worked for saying I had stolen intellectual material. So I'm getting sued the day of my event when I have a $250,000 tax lien and I have to deliver an event and be dazzling so that I can, you know, breathe another day and put a roof over my own head and my kid and food on the table, etc. So what I do is I do a practice that I teach in the book. And that practice is called the On Our Knees Move. And do you want to do it with me right now? Yes. Okay. So is there anything that's like hitting you hard at the moment? Yeah. In fact, yeah, I was listening to you talk and I'm thinking about, you know, another situation of a colleague who passed the other day. and I've been really ruminating about how difficult it is to be a woman responsible for provisioning. And how I believe that biologically, the fear that you're talking about, you're literally describing exactly what I've been ruminating about. Like all of these things, they just hit us as women in our bodies differently than if a man were in your position. You know what I'm saying? Right. And I have gotten, not through my literal circumstances, but for whatever reason, I'm really feeling this lately. And it's a combination of like a tantrum, like this is not fair. Like I fuck this fucking sucks. Like what are we doing? And then also just, yeah, like that kind of white noise of like, can I provide for myself for the rest of my life? What if I have to, you know, like all of that. And so for reasons I don't even know, maybe I'm like tapping into some collection. struggle or something, this has been very alive for me the past 48 hours. So I feel like I can feel what you were feeling. Yeah. That's A. Okay. And very often, women are so expansive in their emotional range. It's like 88 keys of a piano. And we've been told only to play middle C, right? So this move the on our knees move is like let part one there two parts Part one is let yourself feel whatever that uncontained emotion is But meanwhile we doing a podcast So how the fuck are we going to do this So I figured it out from the waist up. How we're going to do this is like, remember kind of when you were doing S-Factor and you're kind of letting the emotion just plug through your body when a song would come on. So I have a song. I don't know if we're going to be able to hear it or not. But If you're listening at home, I'm putting on La Rage by Kenny Arcana, which is just like a great, deep, griefy, rage, move it through, emotional, overwhelm song. and I'm going to put my hands on the edge of my desk and kind of give myself at least my upper body the ability to just feel and scream just for like we're going for 20 seconds. And practice it with me if you're listening to this right now. It would be good for you. It's just good to always to feel the feel. So let me know if you can hear this. Are you getting any noise? Yeah. Okay, great. Let's give it a try. Yeah, if you put it close to the mic, it's good. Okay now? Alright, so. Let's move it! The frustration! The rage! The why is this happening to me! Good, good, good. Yeah, just let it move like you were having that tantrum. Okay, so good. So good, so good, so good. Okay, okay, okay. All right, I'm going to take that one down. Now, here's the power move. First, there's the part one is the truth tantrum, where you're just letting yourself live into the truth of the fear and the despair and the heartache of that moment. Then there's the tender tantrum, which is when we, and I like to switch the music at this point to something that is like, just like keeps the current of the emotion, but allows me to attune tenderly to my body. Like, I am in all of this that's happening. I am a beautifully brave woman who is standing for the impossible. I am standing with so much love for my work, for my daughter. I am standing in honor of the women who made me possible. I am standing for my evolution. I am standing for where the divine wants to lead me next, even though I don't even know if I'm capable of taking those steps all by myself. And so letting that tenderness move into the emotion. Why? Because it's from the tenderness that the erotic appears. And that's the sweet nugget of volitional heat that we are going for. So we're going to do like a little moment with this song is Swim Good, Dermot Kennedy. Love it so much. And then this time. You're going to just move. With a little tenderness for the woman you are. For the courage that you have. For the way you always, always show up in your fullness. Every time the cops pull me over, they don't ever see them. They never see them. And I got this black suit on. I've been roaming around. Beautiful. Kelly, that is so beautiful. And now we're just going to let a little heat and a little turn on pour in there. Just a little drop of erotic aliveness. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Beautiful. I'm going to take just a little tiny break. Okay. What did you notice, if anything? Yeah, you got me crying on my own podcast. Oh, my God. How did you flip the script so radically? Wow. You are such a force. That was so beautiful. And it's, what was that, like two minutes, three minutes? At the most. Right? At the most. Seriously, we're not my fix. And because we are, as women, we hold this divinity that we aren't able to access when we stay in our heads. When we're heads, we're like, oh, God, how do I handle it? What did I do wrong? What's missing? How did I contribute to this problem? How did I create this bullshit? No. But when you move it into your body, oh, my goddess. It's almost like when you move it into your body with a little drop of the erotic, you are turning on all of this, almost like the hormones that allow divinity to flow through us. The oxytocin, the dopamine, the endorphins, the prolactin, and the oxytocin, it lowers cortisol, calms inflammation. The dopamine is known as like the hope chemical. It's the mood elevator and it's motivation, it's desire, it's hope. The endorphins calm pain. They're like natural opioids. And the prolactin, it gives you a sense of contentment or love for this being that you are and allows the nervous system to rest in the poetry that is woman. And all of that is only possible through the body and through that small dose of erotic aliveness or pleasure that we just poured through that allows a woman to connect with the depth and breadth of who she is, of her radiance, of her aliveness. And it doesn't take long, but you have to get out of your head and you have to get literally on our knees, which we did to the best of our ability in our podcast chairs. It's just so powerful. And I love the word tenderness. Yeah. I think that that is right. Because a lot of people talk about the grief that's underneath the rage and this sort of ladder of emotions that are more and more vulnerable. But there's something in your prompting around that that made it immediately accessible to feel my heart. And then when you prompted the erotic, I just gave two pussy pulses. And that's all that was. The whole system was being moved, I would say. So, so powerful. And you know I love to dance. And so I get a lot of my ideas for better or for worse. My creative impulses come to me when I'm dancing, especially with choreography, like choreographed dance, like I'm learning. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's not like free form, you know, just sort of like. It's because with my I'm a double Gemini. OK, so like my mind is just a whole a whole thing. And I need, if my mind is focused on the steps, somehow it's better than meditating for me. My body can be a body. It's extraordinary for me anyway. And so I get a lot of inspiration, let's say, when I'm in classes. And I have a practice of following my impulses, no matter how weird and wild they are. I'll follow through. And it could be something like, hey, you should go to a partner salsa class or, you know, you know, you should you should reach out to this person or you should make this thing or whatever. And so I want to I want to talk. Thank you for that, first of all. Yeah, I want to talk about something that I refer to as the regrettable impulse, because when you're when you're opening a woman the way you are, there are their ideas and inspiration that's going to come in. Right. And so what I find sometimes happens with us is that when we follow our yes, it can and honor our desires. It can lead to experiences that later we look back and say, like, oh, that was a little regrettable, you know, or like, was that really a great idea? and then over time if that continues to happen we end up labeling our impulses as problematic and we we have a rupture with our own desire where we end up not trusting it and then of course society is happy to pile on and talk about you know impulsivity as as a problematic behavior so you have this i'm going to read another quote this is towards the end of the book after you describe this legendary and in my personal life, highly relatable love journey that you've gone on, and you say, you might read this as a cautionary tale, a safe love exchange for a wild adventure that led nowhere, but I see it differently. Every experience, every kiss, every heartbreak, every risk made me fuller, deeper, truer. Am I different from you or exactly the same? I'm a woman who will cross an ocean for a night of truth for an experience that wakes my soul. And if you find yourself on the edge of something that terrifies and calls you at the same time, pause and ask yourself, is losing it all worth risking it all? And that spoke directly to my soul and my experience as somebody who, through a certain narrative lens, also potentially exchanged very safe love for a wild adventure that, quote unquote, went no. And what I want to ask you to speak more about is how to regard our stories this unconditionally, right? Because what I'm reading from your words is, I fucking love it all. I love my story, and I'm here for it, And there's no such thing as a mistake. There's no such thing as like, I followed my impulses and my desires and I fucked up. Or I'm embarrassed. Or, you know, I did a wrong thing. Because I live by that ethos, that there's literally no such thing as a mistake. And it is one of the most empowering tenets of my reality. That's how I can access this kind of unconditional embrace of my story without spiritually bypassing, right? without being like, oh, everyone has their journey. I guess this was mine. Needed those lessons or whatever. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit more about how you want women to relate to their desires and their impulses and how seriously they should take them and why, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, you and I met on the precipice of your wild adventure of leaving your marriage and then having that incredible love affair that redesigned your life and actually has you living in Miami right now. And I promise you that the woman you would have been had you not taken that risk would have been so goddamn boring compared to the woman you have become. Yes, highly neurotic, know it all for sure. And the closeness that you created with your daughters the liberation you created for thousands and thousands of women who have learned from your storyline Like you know as somebody who a thought leader I don think we get points for doing everything right. I think where we get points is in our vulnerability and like living our fullness. I would not. Yes. Did I have love affairs that ended in splat or, you know, or worse? Absolutely. But oh, my goodness. Like to have given my heart, my soul, my body to the adventure that called me to trust the great pussy in the sky. that the door that opened was part of what I required to learn as a woman to really own myself and my fullness and my storyline. Absolutely. I'm so grateful for the heartbreaks. I would not want to be without every drop of saturated life that I've had the privilege to live. And so if you're a woman listening right now and then you're on the precipice of an adventure that you know might just blow shit up, I say yes. You're the devil. You're the devil on the shoulder. Well, let's put it this way. We do not have to force ourselves to live in a patriarchal, spiritual flat dimension of ascension and sin and forgiveness and God have mercy on me. Which is why I put 10 goddesses in this book. Because goddesses are women who went for it with all their aliveness, who blasted open adventures for women like us who, you know, there are times in our lives where we want to righteously take that rage of Kali into the principal's office when our child is being disadvantaged by a policy that has our child be misunderstood. We want that Kali energy. I needed the energy of the goddess Freya when I was standing there watching my life collapse, getting sued the very day that I was restructuring my company. And what happened as a consequence is I went from a woman holding classes in her living room to having a multi-million dollar empire called Mama Gina's School of Womanly Arts, where I got to change the trajectory, impact, touch the lives of hundreds of thousands of women who've come to my classes or read my books. And if I hadn't been powered by Freya, who's the Norse goddess of war, and I had no fear about entering the battlefield. I, on the other hand, did. I was kind of shy and introverted. But I was like, Freya, I'm calling on the Freya power. And it allowed me to go past my own limitations. And I think that's what we want is a permission slip to be bigger than we are and to say yes to adventures that will allow us to grow and unfold and live the fullness of the life that is. You don't want to leave anything on the plate in this lifetime. You want to scoop up every drop. And also that this concept of like winning and being victorious versus the concept of embodying more aliveness and relaxing, you know, is what I found to be the dividend, like the yield of saying yes. And I noted in your story something that's very familiar to mine as well, which is like that this wild, arguably destructive, erotic awakening is then followed by an opportunity for reclamation that is quite personal. I mean, for me, it's you've you've witnessed it's been multiple years of celibacy and like really working on making sense out of this blowing open, you know, that I experienced. And so that doesn't look like winning the battle or whatever it might in a more hero-oriented story. But the sort of maturation and fulfillment in a heroine's arc is getting just more and more in this body, right? That's the whole point. It's wild. And to plug that erotic current into more and more of one's life, because we're designed like this female body. We have an organ on our body that's sole purpose is pleasure. And if we're not tuning ourselves to having 10,000 of our thoughts every day about our pleasure, 10,000 of our decisions, 10,000 of our dreams, that we're not really living the design of what it means to be a woman. And we're not connecting to that divine feminine that lives inside of each of us, which is only accessible through the experience of orgasm or pleasure or erotic aliveness. So it's more like that, not filling the coffers with gold bullion or having millions of followers on our Instagram. it's how much pleasure can we say yes to in this body in this lifetime no matter what we're doing because there's pleasure everywhere even in grief even in rage so much pleasure in parenting in sistering it's uh you know that there's there's so many ways a woman can get filled and it's about saying yes to all of those. It's funny, I did an uncharacteristic like personal story post or whatever on Instagram because they don't, you know, for me it's more of like a, it's like a podcast promotion business kind of a platform, right? And for whatever reason, I felt inspired the other day and I put a little clip of myself pole dancing and I was listing out these sources of fulfillment for myself and at the top was, I just said fulfillment equals And the top was feeling my connection with my daughters. The second literally was, I have a mango tree in my yard. So eating a mango from, tasting a mango from the yard. I cannot even tell you how it's church for me. My cat crawling into my lap. And then the inspiration for the post really was that there are three different women in my, like in your personal life that I've inspired to take their first pole dance class. And you can relate. the fulfillment that I feel. Like I could have 10 New York Times bestsellers that would not touch what it feels like to know that my body moving somehow in some way inspired another woman to be a bit audacious in moving hers. And you do this for thousands, tens of thousands of women your entire career. And so I know that you know that fulfillment And how, yeah, like you're saying, it's almost like we can just pluck these experiences of deep, soulful pleasure from the most unlikely places if our lens is tuned to that. And I didn't used to think that way. I didn't used to see reality that way. And now I do. And you have been such an instrumental, inspirational, permissioned field grantor. for so many reasons, chief among them is something that you talk about and have for many years, which is like how essential it is to have women in your life that you can brag with, you can expand with who you know are more interested in your fulfillment, in celebrating you than commiserating and complaining with you. It is so useful. And as women, we've been taught to dial down the bragging. Like, you know, don't celebrate yourself, celebrate others, but don't brag about, you know, what you've done or what you've accomplished. And what we've been taught to do is actually share the bad news. Like if you get together with a group of women, it's highly unlikely that, you know, a woman will say, oh, well, I just had the hottest sex with my husband last night. How does sex we've had in a decade? Let me tell you all about it. It would be more likely she would say something like, I have such a migraine. Oh, my God. Do you ever get migraines? Because I get migraines all the time. And we tend to celebrate the bad news instead of celebrate our radiance. And here's the cool part. The more I can celebrate my radiance, the more you can. Yeah. And the more you can, the more I can. and like that. And it goes on exponentially all around us. So you're going to have to give me a brag right now about your show. You brought it up. I told you I've had a glow up and I left a message for my two best girlfriends the other day. And I said, I am obsessed with my body. I can't stop looking at my body. I literally am fully obsessed. And I did not see this coming. I also can do a pull up for the first time. I've been showing a lot about this in my entire adult life. And yeah, I feel strong and beautiful and just here for my life in a way that I didn't even six months ago. And I invoke you all the time. And I talk about bragging and I don't know if you would agree, I think you just need one woman. You just need one woman in your life that you can do this with, And it will literally transform your reality in like the space of weeks. If you shift out of the victim habits of commiseration and into these brags. So I'm going to put it back to you and you're going to give me one before we wrap up. Okay. All right. So I'm going to brag that, well, I have, this is body brag too. I want to brag that I have been so good to my body during this launch. that I make sure I have orgasm every single day. I had body work twice last week, two massages, and I've been doing burst training, like of, you know, really doing a three-minute burst, and then I'll do push-ups, three-minute burst. I'll do sit-ups, three-minute burst. I'll do, like, some kind of, like, hip thrusters, and, like, that every single day to get strong enough so I can run around on stage as a crazy person for my book launch in New York City at the House of Yes. So I feel like I am being so good to my body. And I'm really grateful for the that I'm hitting it. I'm really hitting it in all the ways. So good. So does this mean that you are heading back on stage? Should women expect that? It might. It might. Stay tuned. So right now we're doing one night only. But who knows? who knows what will take place. That's the best part of life. Who knows? I'm so subscribed. I'm so here for it. I am celebrating you with joyful tears in my eyes on the sidelines of this launch. And I am so grateful to know you and your authentic self that reads the same from the page to, you know, over a meal to in a WhatsApp message. You're just a delight and an inspiration. I adore you. Thank you. Amazing. We'll make sure the links are in the notes, Regina. I love you so much. Thank you for this. you