179: How to Use Your Birth Chart to Navigate Deep Life Transitions | Meli Neubek

So here's the thing. No one is coming to turn you on. Not your husband, not the right mood, not the right moment, not good weather. Contrary to popular belief, turn on is a skill. It's not something that just happens to you. It's something you can actually learn. And when you do, you live in a world of yes, of possibilities and of sweetness. If you'd rather scroll or watch TV than make love, if you feel like you have to try hard to be sexy and plan lovemaking for it to be exciting. If you think low libido is just part of perimenopause, if you judge or resent other women and have grown a bit bitter, then my free turn on training with a very special guest is for you. We'll cover the real reason that desire disappears in long-term relationships, the four turn on myths that are keeping women tense and pleasure starved, and the simple skills to reconnect to desire on your own terms. No therapy, no retreats, no performative theatrics required. Claim a limited spot at kellybroganmd.com forward slash turn on. So I'm in my gifts and receiving era and I want to share the abundance by gifting one of you lovelies each week a free beauty backroom peptide perfecting complex face serum or moisturizer. Here's what you do. You drop a celebration blast in the comments across any of the platforms, something you're excited about, proud of, or loving about yourself, and you start it with the phrase, my blast. This product is all of my skincare dreams come true, so I cannot wait to get it in your hands. Asmos live within us, period. That's why we understand these archetypes. If you look at the zodiac wheel at an astrology chart, it's a 360 degree circle and it's a 2D representation of the sky, period. If all of our charts have that circle, then we have all of those zodiac archetypes within us. There's so many different entry points to determine, oh, wait, there's something here for me. I look at Kelly's chart. I see she's a double Gemini. I see that her Jupiter is and her Venus are conjunct in her second house. I can't anticipate the type of person Kelly is, the type of life that she lives, the things that she enjoys, how she thinks, how she acts, how she loves, how she plays, how she works. That's all psychological. Hi, and welcome to Reclamation Radio Chats, where I get real with my besties and talk about life. Today, I am chatting with Mellie Newbeck. We've been joking about this for years that we should have a Mellie and Kelly show because we travel the world and that's how we basically introduce ourselves. Mellie is unique unto herself. She is a multi-passionate, multi-talented, lovely lady. And she's also the co-host of Celestial Curiosities, where she speaks with Maggie about all things astrology and self-exploration and awareness. And they actually have a new program to teach you how to do this for yourself, which I will be doing. And it's called Celestial Essentials. You'll find the link in show notes. And today we get into all things chickens, dark night of the soul, and what is the deal with astrology and why all of a sudden I started caring about it a lot. So enjoy. Hey, hot girl. It is the Mellie and Kelly show. Finally. Finally. It just took a couple years to cook. It's so good to see you and to kick off this chat series. I'm going to ask first because fun fact, if you're listening, you may not know that Melly has inherited, adopted, been gifted, birthed my chicken crew, my hen crew, and takes such good care of them and has like grown the flock exponentially. So how the fuck are they doing? Oh my gosh, I'm carrying on the Kelly Brogan chicken legacy is how I like to think of it. And believe it or not, like we just had, we have a camper on our property that we Airbnb and this lady who was just here, she's obsessed with the chickens. And everybody who shows interest, I'm like, well, we got these first three from my friend Kel. It's like everybody has to know the whole story. So they're doing great. We have four chicks who are about four months old. We're still not sure what their sexes are. So just stay subscribed. Just Russian rouletting that shit. Figure that out. But yeah, your girlies, we still have Kiki, Ruthie, and Derpy. R.I.P. Chiki. That's the only one we've lost. But Ruthie and Kiki, anytime I go lay out on the lounger now, they're so happy to have me there. And I'm just sitting there reading my book. and one will hop on like near my feet to the lounder and one will hop on near my head. And if I try to pet Kiki, she's like, absolutely not. I don't want to be pet. I just want to be near you. Near you. It's like Mushu. But Ruthie is very happy to be pet. And you know, Derpy is just out there doing her thing. So the chickens are wonderful. They have such a good life in your beautiful yard too. So I just finished interviewing Dede Young, who is like the animal communicator from the telepathy tapes. like she was on there. And I asked her about chickens and, you know, cause I have heard from another communicator years ago that chickens are like harder to communicate with telepathically. They're sort of like in their own realm, whatever goes without saying. And she was like, no, I can communicate with them. No problem. They're very focused on, she said on food. Like that's like literally they're like one track, which meanwhile, that's also my cat's one track. So make that make sense. But they're very, very focused on food. And so they're less, I guess, relationally oriented because they're just thinking about food all day. But that's right. Even just what you described, that's not been necessarily my experience of them. They're curious. They have different personalities. They're interested. I mean, I remember when I first had 13 chickens, there was one who died had like, I think three die. Like where I either was like a part of their passing, meaning like I was like holding them when they died, or I saw that they died and like, I still could see their body because sometimes chickens get, you know, like abducted. And then that chicken's like best friend disappeared, actually like disappeared into thin air. And you're telling me that that wasn't like a relational phenomenon, right? Like that they just, you know, both departed in probably very different ways in like the space of like a week. They're so... I love them. They're so amazing. Well, I love them too. I think I've told you that there's this backyard chicken group. It's literally called backyard chicken group on Facebook. And I know you don't really mess with Facebook, but there's literally like one million... Facebook doesn't mess with me. It's more accurate. Okay. Well, there's... Whichever way that goes. There are literally one million people in this group. and that's too many people. But I've learned so much from this group. And just because they'll like people post like, what's wrong with my chicken? And it's like some absolutely terrible looking thing that I'm like, what is happening? At this point, I could probably diagnose and treat most chickens with most problems. I'm like, I want to be prepared just, you know, just in case you never know. But I think that because you and I chose to fully allow them to free range, makes a gigantic difference because people protect them as if they're pets. I think of them as pets, but they're like, I only let them free range for one hour a day. So these chickens are stuck in small runs. They can't just forage and act their normal way. And when they can, I feel like they protect themselves better. Their instincts are more online, all of that. So it's been a really interesting, I don't know, kind of experiment, seeing how other people deal with their chickens and how I feel like everything we do is the opposite and we've had no problems. Like, I don't know. It's just... No, it's such a meta paradox, right? Because it's like... I mean, I remember... I know you're still in the spiritual process with your cats. But I remember when I first adopted the cats and I was so hypervigilant and overbearing and like controlling, authoritarian. I was terrified of them getting out and then Mushu ran out of the house and we couldn't find him anywhere, put like posters up. I actually used a clairvoyant. I tapped into a clairvoyant to find him actually. And I moved through this like spiritual process of first building an $8,000 with my former partner in our house, an $8,000 fucking catio. Oh my gosh, which is like, you know, so they could be outside but still in a cage and it was like very spacious and glorious. And then I just had the awakening that at least for me in my dynamic and the ways that they're here to teach me, I needed to just trust them to do their thing. But like so many, I mean, when I've volunteered in cat shelters, you deal with those shadow mommy women who are so out of love for these animals, so controlling and so intense and so extraordinarily constraining to the point where these animals can't possibly experience freedom play, joy, but it's like out of love, right? It's I'm doing it for you, you know, kind of energy. It's so complex. And then they get underskilled in like how to actually navigate the outdoors. Meanwhile, Musha doesn't even want to go outside. He like literally hangs inside all day long after all that. Yeah, well, we've got four. Luna has no interest. She stepped outside. One time she walked around the whole house and she came back in and she was like, yeah, I'm good, thanks. But she'll live on the patio on the lanai all day. Charlie wants to go out, but I watched Charlie try to kill a fly in my house and he can't even do that. It's not going to go well out in the wild, survivor. No. He one time got a lizard. A lizard came in the house. He got it. The lizard bit down on his mouth and he just ran around the house screaming, crying. Like he couldn't figure, we couldn't get him to get, I was like, okay, see, I realize you want to be outside, but I don't think you realize what's out. How domesticated you are literally so i mean i don't know i he gets out sometimes and he doesn't go very far but we we just try to keep him in because for for the love of god you know whatever it's it's it's less stress on me at that at this point bro needs to skill up before he heads out big time wilderness skills oh my god so okay so i want to talk to you this is perfect that we're having this chat today because I have been in an astrology hole. Hole in the best sense. K-hole? No, I don't know. Anyway, some kind of hole. And I want to talk to you about astrology and unpack my perspective, your perspective, like just get into it. Because as you know, for, I don't know, 10 plus years, I have had loved ones around me who are very into astrology. Like you could even describe it as their like religious orientation, right? Like it's the framework through which they perceive reality and they, you know, have varying levels of expertise. And I have been exposed to it, right? Like not only what is going on, but then also, you know, my, the most important aspects of my chart and like what that means. And, you know, some of y'all like literally will talk about human beings through the lens of their signs and, you know, including rising and moon and whatever, and make sense out of even personal relationships and dynamics like through that, that lens. So I'm coming from this place. I appreciate it, but it's never been until very recently. It's never been like my, I would say like go to reality filter, if that makes sense. Right. So, okay. As you know, March 3rd, I had like an abrupt awakening. And as you also know, in the realm of, I'll just put it out there as a teaser, a sovereignty scam that I have been taking the bait of for like six years. And stay tuned for the tea on that when I am ready to tell the tale from a non-victimy place. So I woke up, literally it felt like out of anesthesia on March 3rd. And it was so dramatic that I was able to see with some degree of sobriety what I've been up to and how deep in this very familiar and quote-unquote toxic dynamic situation, poor bargain, breadcrumbing, gaslighting, all the things that I was in. It was so dramatic that I literally was like, what is going on right now? Like in the world, what is happening? Is there meaning like astrologically, what is actually happening? Of course, then I learned by going to YouTube and typing in Gemini, I learned that there was an eclipse and that began what has now been, I don't know, whatever weeks it's been, a couple of weeks. So I walk two and a half hours a and I listened to, I'm binging astrology material on YouTube in those two and a half hours, like literally for weeks on end. And it's so fascinating. First of all, it's very soothing to me, but it's so specific. It's so specific that it feels like in this case, unlike so much of what astrology has felt like for me in the past, which is like, oh, you're shedding what no longer serves you and a shift is nigh and you know, the best is yet to come, whatever. Like it all sounds like that to me. This is so specific. It's like the character and this is what the character was doing. And it's all about finances and money and, and, you know, legal stuff. And it's so, so specific to whatever my sign, I guess, is up to now that it cannot, it cannot be coincidence. Right. So like, and there's so many content creators out there who have different relationships. And a lot of them use tarot. They have different relationships to, and I talked to you about this, and I think you called it predictive astrology. So like, yeah. Like what, what do you, so what I would ask is like, is there a relationship that you ever worry about or that you're worried about me having to astrology that is like not healthy? That's my first question. because it's almost like having, it feels almost like having like, you know, what I've gone through with clairvoyance and psychics and intuitives where there have been times in my life where it feels like I'm outsourcing my trust in God and my process and my journey by needing to know just a little bit, just give me a little preview or whatever. And it seems more in the predictive realm because I've had, you know, with you and otherwise like natal chart analysis and Vedic astrology. And I know there's these different domains, but then there's also like a dynamic that you have with astrology itself as a reality filter. And I'm just sort of noticing, like, I'll literally, like, get ready to go on my walk and then queue up, like, two hours of, like, here's what's going on. Oh, I pulled the wheel of fortune. Now there's the devil card again. And it's so almost, like, addictive at this point, you know? Well, let me start off by saying, because I know you, that I think the first question was, do I have any concern about your relationship with astrology and how it might affect you? I think that was sort of the question. Yes, is there any caution, any caution tape to put up? I mean, I honestly, I don't, I don't think concern is the right word for how I generally feel about people and the relationship that they can take on with astrology. But it's very much not how I operate within it, which is that it can have this addictive sort of just take you over. You believe everything it says. And then all of a sudden, everything is through that lens. I don't do that. I don't really play the game that way. But with you, because I know you, you are a consumer of information and you can handle a lot of information and you like to handle a lot of information. And when you become obsessed with something become obsessed with something like you're like I will like zero to 100 immediately like there's just oh okay there's Kelly and off she goes so it's funny because you mentioned it to me I don't know like a couple weeks ago on a voice note and I was like this bitch is off here listening hours worth of astrology and tarot shit and like I still haven't even done a proper reading for you. So whatever. Like that's no, but like every time I talk to you, you fully have my chart up. So it's I have it up right now. It's like a background reading that's going on every time I talk to you. It's not every time. But while you're talking right now, I did pull it up because I'm like, I asked me some shit. I might as well clicking away from what prepared. So anyway, I would say honestly, that would be my my one thing would just be not getting completely lost in it because there's this ability to intellectualize all this information. And then Gemini, as you know, being your rising and sun sign. So you've got this double scoop, double whammy of curiosity, this desire to consume information and then synthesize it somehow and then share it somehow. So that's just how you operate. Your brain likes being stimulated. And the more you give it, the more it's going to get stimulated, the more stories you can create with it, it just can snowball. And you know this about yourself. No, I do. But weirdly, it's like never had the traction in this realm. I mean, now the amount of times I refer to myself as a double Gemini is like exponential, logarithmically increasing because it's almost like you want to know the nutshell of me? That's it. If you know it, if you know, you know, right? But like, what are the different... Okay, so you talked about predictive astrology, but what are the... from your vantage point, like, how do you assess like the different types? Right? Because like, yeah, I've sort of like dabbled, but again, I've like only had a very passing interest and now I'm way more interested. And I also know, you know, you and I have talked about that I am a geocentrist and that there's like all, you know, this like solar system jargony stuff. But if you believe that the planets are some sort of profound and mysterious energy source. It's less relevant whether the sun or the earth is at the center of the game and whether we're spinning or not and all that stuff. Perhaps, but maybe so-called flat earth astrologers would disagree. I don't know. I've not cared enough to go down that rabbit hole. Okay. So you mentioned predictive. There's the tarot piece, but like, what are the different like branches? Yeah, I got you. So there's a few different ways we can go with this. But first of all, astrology from the way, because it does, I always sort of blanket statement that I am not an astronomer. And so I can only speak so much to elliptical orbit and all that shit. But it is a heliocentric model, of course, the way that we're referring to the what's called the synodic cycles of the planets and how they go about and how long they take to move and all of that. So I mean, again, I don't know what flat earthers would say exactly, but I'm sure there's some corrected way that that's determined. Either way, I do think that the planets, I say, in fact, I just did a post on this, like right before I came on, is that the cosmos live within us, period. That's why we understand these archetypes, right? So if you look at the zodiac wheel at an astrology chart it a 360 degree circle and it a 2D representation of the sky period Easy to say And that circle has 12 zodiac signs all around it and they take up an even amount of the zodiac each, the way that I practice astrology. There are some other mathematical ways that can go, but for simplicity's sake, let's say you take 360 degrees, divide it by 12, you get 30 degrees per sign. So they're sharing an even amount of the sky and they literally just imagine them ruling that part of the sky. Okay. Period. So if all of our charts have that exact, that circle, they're made of that circle, then we have all of those Zodiac archetypes within us. So there's all this symbology and then there's the mythology. There's so many different entry points to determine, oh, wait, there's something here for me. Right. I always say like the, the easiest gateway drug to astrology is the elements. Fire, earth, air, water. We know how those function. If you're a very fiery being, if you're a very airy being, you're going to get how that functions with each of these signs, right? So anyhow, that all does relate to your question, which is what are these schools? So you said predictive. So let me just start there. Predictive is what I would say I do kind of the least, but that's actually not ultimately true. It's where I was least interested to begin with, but I think it's actually where many people are most interested. They want to know, when might I find love? When should I buy my house? Right. You're feeling control. Yeah. The surrogate control. There are many different ways to look at what the planets are doing, what they're going to do, how what they're going to do relates to your birth chart, et cetera, et cetera, and then make decisions based on that. So you can predict. Also, you can literally look hundreds of years in the future and be like, oh, this might happen. For example, when 2020, all the bullshit that went down, or how about right now, all of the financial structure stuff that's happening, people were predicting that from a very, very long time ago, because they saw, oh my gosh, these huge shifts are happening. These planets are doing this and wow. And so I imagine this might be what that might feel like based on history. No astrologer knows what the fuck is going on because they're just like, Neptune is spiritual. And so I mean, And yes, there's intuition with that, but it's, oh, last time Neptune was in Aries, which for example, is a shift that just occurred and that will be in for the next 14 years. What happened last time? Oh, we had like the Renaissance era and we had all these interesting things that happened that represent the archetype of Neptune, the spirituality that we find there. And Aries, the warrior, so it's the spiritual warrior energy. and okay, so let's think about how that might impact our next 14 years. So that's like the predictive side of things. And it's interesting. It's fascinating. I think it's fun to dabble in there. What I do more of and what I really love and where I think my intuition comes online the most is psychological and evolutionary. So for me, those are the two big umbrellas that I talk about and I practice a mix of the two. So psychological is the practical, like I look at Kelly's chart, I see she's a double Gemini. I see that her Jupiter is and her Venus are conjunct in her second house. And I start to build, okay, as a human, I can anticipate the type of person Kelly is, the type of life that she lives, the things that she enjoys, how she thinks, how she acts, how she loves, how she plays, how she works. That's all psychological. That's how we present in the world. And you've mentioned the rising, the sun, the moon. That's what I like to call your primal triad. Some people call it your big three. Those are like your biggest three archetypes. And so if I just kind of party trick, meet somebody at a restaurant and I'm like, hey, what's your sign? And then they know they're big three. If they tell me I can pretty quickly, okay, they're super fiery. They've got a little bit of earth. Oh, that's interesting. And I could probably blurt something out that's going to feel very connected to them. If they just give me their sun sign, far less likely. It's just too, it's too wide, right? Too wide of a gaze. Now, if we move away from the human psychological aspect that feels a little bit more tangible, and we move over to evolutionary, well, then now we're applying all of the zodiacal archetypes, if you will, to your soul's evolutionary path. So whether you believe in reincarnation or not, astrology does. So your soul came here to learn certain lessons, to walk a certain path. And one of my favorite teachers, Stephen Forrest, he always says, when your soul chose to jump off the cosmic diving board into this life, in this moment, it chose this chart. It chose these lessons. So in evolutionary, we now look at these archetypes and we say, what did you come to learn? And are you walking that path? Or like, where are you off that? And can we shift a little bit? Can we strategize to make sure that you're fulfilling what your soul came here to fulfill. So psychological and evolutionary are where I play the most. But I actually in the predictive realm, I don't give a shit what's going to happen in 100 years. I'm not. But I want to know. One of my favorite things to do is we can look at like your whole just year ahead and strategize like, hey, when would it be a good time for you to launch a thing? Finally start that business. Get like dress up sexy and go out, take some rest, that kind of stuff, because that's really impacting you and your life and your ability to act from your and live from your most flowy place. And that's really why I love astrology because I think it can connect us to ourselves and the people we love more and help us understand ourselves and them better. Totally, totally. Yeah, no, I love the date projections. And it turns out, so I'm launching the beauty backroom. And it turns out that that's like the best time. Did you consult with an astrologer? No, according to YouTube. So don't burst my bubble. Don't go actually looking at more detail. Y'all see how this witch went to YouTube instead. No, I just happened to hear it. I just happened to hear it. And I was affirmed at my intuition around that. But I think that's like a really cool service. I was telling you this for business owners and founders, right? Because we schedule launches and we schedule big events. And it's somewhat arbitrary. You know, like maybe we know what quarter it's going to be in in the calendar year. But the actual date, it's like, oh, I'm planning to go to the beach that day and not that day. So I'll do the live stream this day. You know, it's not dialed in science. But it's interesting what you're saying about the predictive stuff, because if I don't believe in history as told, and I don't believe that, you know, the timeline, you referenced like the Renaissance or whatever, like if I don't believe that that's actually what happened, then probably I'm not going to take the word of those people about the patterns that they are analyzing about like what is going to happen. So that also, you know, that feels like sobering. But what about like the different, so what about like, you know, Vedic astrology? Like just, is that just its own whole? Because I had a reading once. Yeah. It was very, first of all, I'm a Taurus in Vedic astrology, which is interestingly my mom's sign. And it was very, almost like psycho-spiritually, I don't know, like about my life path. I guess all birth chart analysis is that, but it was, like, for example, one of the things I'll never forget he said, because this was many years ago, right before I started to do a lot of, like, the inner work that ended up, you know, in my last book. and he's like your relationship with your mom is the key to your fulfilling your erotic destiny like he's like you're here to like it was very specifically about like erotic energies like you're here to experience a specific kind of union yada yada and at that time it was before I discovered family constellation and at that time things were quite strained so it's like the last thing I wanted to hear, but also made 100% sense. So it's like, right? Like that's like very, not what I would expect to hear if I'm like, hey, tell me about what you see in my chart. And so that was a Vedic reading. That's my only point of contact with that whole modality. But I know that there's like all these different camps. There are. Well, so there's two kind of big differences that occur. I practice tropical. So the apples to apples can bolson would be tropical. to sidereal, which is the, again, I'm not an astronomer, but it's the system. System is the easiest way to describe it, but it's the system that between like Vedic and Western, okay, so Vedic and Western apples to apples, and then Vedic uses the sidereal clock technically, I suppose, and then Western, which is what I practice is using the tropical clock or the tropical zodiac. and essentially what happens is in western imagine back in babylonian times when there was whatever the fuck you want to believe there were there was no electricity back then they were figuring shit out by the moon and so they figured out oh wow okay the moon has a 28 day cycle and i keep seeing this this bright light that's apparently venus and then i now i see this other thing and so they're discovering by the sky the cycles of life right and this happened over the course of very, very, very, very, very many years. That's the data that we're using. And at some point they said, oh, that's the constellation of Sagittarius and that's Gemini and bup, bup, bup. And they said, oh, interesting. The sun is in Aries, this constellation, every springtime. And so all of a sudden this calendar came to be. And from back then, Aries then equaled spring. Now shift with me over here to sidereal for a moment. And this is what Vedic's practice with. if you walk up to a Vedic astrologer right now and there's a full moon this week, as of the point that you and I are recording this on April 2nd, in a few days, there's going to be a full moon. I, as a Western astrologer, say this is going to be a full moon in Libra. And I know that without even looking at the chart because I know that the sun is an Aries, a full moon is always opposing the sun and Libra opposes Aries. So that's easy for me to know. That's just something that when you get into the memorization and symbology, you just know these things. So I can start to kind of say, okay, what might that feel like? What might I want to focus on for this full moon, blah, blah, blah. But if I walk up to a sidereal astrologer, they're going to tell you different. They're going to tell you, no, I'm sorry, friend. But over all these years since Babylonian times, the Earth or whatever the fuck has shifted and bop, bop, bop. And so the constellations have moved. And so the sun is not in Aries, actually, and the moon is not in Libra. If you literally take that app on your phone and look up at the sky, it's going to show you that the moon is in, I don't know, Virgo or whatever. I'm not sure because I don't practice that way. And so So that's wrong. So they are going to tell you something totally different. Now, it's interesting. I've had two Vedic readings. They were both powerful in their own way. I believe that we are so complex as human beings. And again, this whole, all these archetypes are within us. So I feel like, I don't know, I feel like we're going to be delivered the information in the moment that we need it. And we take what we need and we leave what we don't. And yes, of course, something's going to be more resonant than others. If you listen to two hours worth of YouTube every day for Gemini and it's resonating, then something's in the air. Like they just get me so much. There's some coherence here. But it's interesting because, and I did battle with that for a while. I was like, oh no. Like before I started my really practicing and reading for people, I was like, am I going to have to like learn how to synthesize these two practices? Because I was like, I don't want to be out of integrity. I don't want to be wrong. And then, I don't know, it kind of just clicked one day that if you think about, this is how I think about it, when the Babylonians were figuring the shit out, basically like the vibe of the season, the energy of Aries season was, at least here in the Northern Hemisphere, was the springtime, was the blooms coming up, was the whole this thing. And so it defined Aries, not the constellation, not the stars, that's just one possible representation, but the energy of that season was defined by this Aries archetype. So that never changes because the springtime is still the springtime and the springtime is still this Arian, very initiatory, let's go forward momentum, blah, blah, all these things. And so to me, it made sense that the vibe of the season was what was defined. It wasn't the stars themselves. They don't actually carry the magic. It's the definition of the season that the tropical zodiac decided on. That made a lot more sense to me. Now, another main thing, I think the last thing I'll say between these two schools of thought is that Vedic is often used more for predictive reasons, right? Like think about the Vedic culture. They don't get married without checking the astrology of the wedding date and the astrology of the two people. It's such a big, so predictive and looking out for the things you should be paying attention to, to like, oh, don't step in that ditch and watch out for this. I feel like there's a lot more of that in the Vedic world, whereas in tropical, we can look at some of that stuff for sure. But I just don't think it's as prevalent in like when you go for a reading, for example. So those are probably my two main things. Yeah, no, that's like super interesting. It's also, there's so much room for being hexed, right? If you are dabbling in the like predictive realm, especially if it's like more substantive than like, this is a good date for launching a new product. And it's yeah, even relational. Yeah. It's interesting too that I am, so this is like, I don't know what my like fifth, you know, sort of like life cataclysmic moment where I am shifting an identity in an important way and having to like, you know, Navajo sand painting very significant aspects of my life. now. It's not in the relational realm necessarily, only indirectly. It's more in the material, structural, Aryan, apparently, realm. Torrin, actually, more so. Torrin, actually, more so. Yeah. It's like finances and legal stuff, whatever. Those structures, those manly structures. Okay. Yeah. So I know that... You left me a message. I don't know what it was two months ago. I'm not good with temporal landscapes. But anyway, and you were, remember you were like, a lot of my friends are like in the shit, right? Like they're, everyone I talked to is like going through something dramatic and you were in a process. And at the time I was like, I'm thinking about what color I'm going to do my nails tomorrow and just bopping around my neighborhood. Right. So I was like still in my own fugue state, like where I wasn't able to see what was coming. And so I know that you probably were aware at that time of like something more collective that was unfolding, right? Like, and the, it's almost like the tremors were being felt by certain people sooner than others. And so like, how, how do you, when you are going through the squeeze, like a, a tight spot in life or like a rebirth, whatever transformation, maybe it's even more dramatic. Like, do you, do you look to like collective sort of like patterning or like, do you see it in your chart? Like even what you've been going through recently? Yeah. So this is such a good question. And there's a couple of things that I think are useful answers because I would love to if you're down. I mean, I've got a couple of really quick points I can make directly to your chart. And and there's you're not getting that from YouTube. Like you're looking at generic. And so it's amazing. It's great that that all is aligning and connecting. But where the real magic happens is, OK, but no, this transit is touching your chart in this specific way. And that's only looking at one thing. Like there's various different layers that we can get into. But even just looking at the current transits, where the planets are in the sky right now, and how they're interacting with your natal chart, there's very clear. Yeah, you're in the middle of learning some serious lessons when it's like you could have looked when I left you that la di da message and you could have looked at my chart and been like, oh, this bitch is in for it. I did when I came over and had coffee with you. I looked at it and I was like, okay, yeah, dude, you have some shit going down. but you were in your storytelling mode. So I was like... I know, I know. I'm very good at that. So if you want, we can look at that in a moment. But let me back up just a moment. Let me explain how I use this in my life because I think it's really important to know ourselves first and foremost. And I think some people are capable of seeing a head a bit and not getting entangled. And like, that's cool if that's you. I am an overthinker and I do... I'm a bit of a planner. So if I have too much information looking forward, I'm gonna like mess around too much. It's contracting. Yeah, correct. And I'm gonna think there's something I can fix before anything's even fucking happened. No, I just so I don't do that. It's like an outlander. You're like trying to revise history. Yeah, totally. Go back and revise it. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. But as you well know, I function very well, sort of like under pressure, like just put me just put me in coach, you know, like zombie apocalypse comes. you want me on your team. Like I'm going to get through this shit. I am very good at the pivot. I'm very good at the let's just be in this moment and move forward and make shit happen. So I try to put myself in that thrive state as much as possible. Right. So I don't look ahead to too much. When I was just going through my shit, I knew the collective energy was coming. And that was a really, really big one. I'm not going to get deep into it right now unless you want me to any further, the main thing I'll say is our three outer planets, Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune, which are the farthest away. We like to call them the generational planets. So they affect generations and whole collective swaths of people more so than our individual. Now, they still impact us individually, but another story for another day. The point is, is that those three planets, after being wherever they were for quite a while, which was Capricorn, Taurus, two Earth signs, and Pisces, a water sign. So just think about those elements for a second. Water and Earth, dense, muddy, heavy, cold. Okay, so those planets have been there for, let's just say on average, about a decade. Now they're all shifting into fire and air. So we're going from dense, cold, like more just kind of stuck energy to let's go. And that happens, it's happening like this. And there's a lot more to it. But if we just take that piece, think about that to the collective. take all these people and we're going from these energies that have been impacting us in one way for a while to, oh, okay, let's all wake up and go. It can be a little chaotic. It's a little frenetic at first. There's friction. There's drying off of all the wetness. There's speed. There's a lot. So that's one piece that for sure I knew was going to impact collectively. Because of what I knew I was shifting in my own life, I knew I was going to experience something. I have When I was in the shit, thank God that some of my closest friends and my podcast co-host, Maggie, especially was like one of my closest confidants during this time. And she was the one who was peeking at my chart and was like, Oh, girl. Oh, girl. And I was like, Oh, girl, tell me because I just looking at it was going to be like I would have, you know, I was in my own shit. it was really helpful to have that reflection and realize, oh, this is deeper than I thought. This is karmic. So one of the planets we look for, there's two major, I would say, placements we look at for karmic stuff. And that's Saturn. Saturn carries a lot of karmic influence. And then our south node, the south node of the moon. And I had a lot going on with both of those. And it was very acute for me as all of these shifts were happening So that just I don know it just almost gives you a bit of permission right It lets you exhale a little bit and be like all right well whatever weird whatever the fuck these things represent and how this magic works it is impacting and it kind of hard to deny at that point And for me as an astrologer, I've looked at hundreds and hundreds of charts now, and this has never let me down the ability to interpret and synthesize what it is that I see. So that from a collective standpoint, that's how I use astrology when I'm in it. And this was really deep, so I didn't even bother. But normally it's like, oh, I feel a little off today. Or damn, that was like a fucking productive spurt last week. What was going on in my chart? And I'll go look. And then I'm like, oh, wow, yeah, Mercury and Jupiter. And then I'm like, okay, curious. Maybe I should see next time that's happening. And maybe I should plan and see, oh, I should launch something then or I should create a dedicated two-day work, like power work cycle, see what happens. Because it's clear that it impacts me. So I don't obsess over it. I don't put it in my calendar. Some people do, that's fine. But I'm very curious about it all the time. And I'm like, oh, I wonder what? And I just play with it. And that's how I live life. Life is, if it's not a game, what are we doing? So if you're already familiar with holistic approaches to your health, then why would you rely exclusively on allopathic approaches to your money? Like if you need more growth, then the conventional advisor puts you in a riskier fund. If your taxes are too high, then you get basic normie deferral and offsetting strategies. We need a more holistic approach to financial planning. One that considers liquidity, stability, taxes, legacy, and your actual nervous system. 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But I think that's also just how I am. I'm extremely open minded. And again, very curious. I'm a Sagittarius rising for me. All I see is like vast expanse of possibility in front of me. So I never really want to pigeonhole myself. And I'm a good person to like, I can look at this side and that side and all the sides and inside and I've, and from all of that information, I also have a lot of Gemini energy, I can really sort of figure out, okay, what's the most efficient or logical, or I can really intellectualize well and then synthesize. So for me, like, I can take all that information and I could see what I was sort of meant to move through. But then on the other side of that, I just personally prefer to keep things open and I trust my intuition implicitly. So I'm like, coming out of this, this is, I'm going to integrate this however the hell I'm meant to integrate this. And we're just going to see what happens. So I'll share a little bit of what I went through. I essentially, as we all have familial things that we go through, I, my husband and I, Matt, we've been married for 11, going on 11 years this June. And we have had an incredible, awesome marriage. I like love everything we've created and experienced. But one unique part of our marriage is that we have always had one of our parents living with us. It's just been our reality. We had his father before he passed and we had my mom. And come this past year, I just realized like we're thinking about starting a family. I've had a lot of health stuff and that's been a whole process. And I was just like, damn, we've never lived alone in a decade. The two of us have never just lived me and him. Now, have we gone on two month vacations? Yeah, we've done all this amazing stuff. But like your home is your home and it's your sanctuary and all these things. And that's even been a whole thing for me to redefine. And so anyway, it finally came to the point where I was like, damn, like love my mom. But I think it's time for Matt and I to have our own space. And so that was a whole I am of Latin descent. My family is from Venezuela. And before that, Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico and all these things. And it's like, if you know any of that culture, and this is a lot of non-Western cultures generally, but like we will take our fourth cousin removed in and let him have our bed before we're like, figure it out, bro. Like, that's just how it is. And so I was like, oh my God, this is like a whole thing. And I knew this was going to be a major, like this was generational shit. You know, you got me into family constellations. I have had such powerful experiences with it. And I just knew like, this is carrying so much more than just like me and my mom. This is like absolutely going years and generations past. And so we finally did this decoupling. However, like I've still decided how to how to say it. I'm like, I kicked my mom out of my house. I don't like saying that. But this is the reality. You declared your I am for your lineage. Yes, exactly. And literally, you can't make this shit up, right? Like, it's like the day she got the keys to her new apartment, my whole fucking existence crumbled. Like my body went into full panic. I don't know. Full. I don't even know what to say. It was so on the nose. like no mystery no like oh i wonder what this is about yeah and over the course of four weeks straight this sounds dramatic but you could ask matt like it's not a joke i probably was in the fetal position 95 of those four weeks actually either sleeping enveloped in heating pads i lost 25 pounds i barely ate and of course from the outside looking in anybody anybody's like are you okay? Like, of course, people who my wonderful friends that are perhaps not so much on our tip or whatever, like, oh, do you have some sort of a virus or no? I just asked my mom to move. I like contagious. Be careful. And, you know, I actually at one point, I'm trying to remember who I was talking to. And I was like, well, you know, I just I believe very deeply in the emotional root of all things. And this is emotion expressing in the most powerful way. And I am could not be more aware of that. And not for one second, was I actually fearful that my body was failing me like I knew like breaking. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I knew I was fine. However, what's interesting, I think I shared this with your art member, but there's one day that Matt got home and I'm in the bath, I would take like one or two baths a day almost like I just needed to be in heat. It was fascinating. It was like being reborn, literally. And I was having a pretty down moment. And I was like, Matthew, come in here, like sits, sits on the bathroom floor next to me. He's like the most patient understanding person. He's like, what are we going through now? And I'm like, I'm like, maybe I'm just supposed to die young, you know, like maybe that's it. Because sometimes it's just, that's how it goes. We don't know, you know, and he's like, that's very, yes, that's very possible. Like, you know, just letting me have my moment. And recently I was talking to an old friend of mine who's a psychologist and she was like, do you know how, how frequent it is that when people, she's like, at least with my patients, I've seen it too many times. Like it's, that is what we do. Like we, if we're going through an actual death and rebirth of identity in any way, we might have suicidal thoughts. Like we truly believe that there's this, this death happening. And I had a good few days. I didn't actually, I never had any suicidal thoughts, but I was like, wow, this is because then the other part of my history, which I'm not going to get into right now, but my diagnosis 15 years ago was Crohn's disease. So while I don't like to think of parts of my body as being weak per se, if I'm going to be experiencing pain, it tends to be where I've had surgery. It tends to be in my abdominal region. Then of course, my traditional Chinese medicine doctor, who I, she's like my only healer that I see with any sort of frequency. she's like when she saw me after the six weeks that I'd lost this 25 pounds I knew she'd seen me before and she saw me right after she was like holy holy shit like you have transformed in a way that is absolutely incredible and she's like think about the connection of your your stomach the umbilical cord was connected to me your mom the show what is stored there how much now visceral fat you've lost and the ability to work. I do a lot of self massage to like literally just keep myself. Yeah, I always have, especially since my surgery, which was like a decade ago. And she's like, just work with that area as much as possible. See what you can release. So almost every day I'll like do and I'll have these emotional releases that you don't know, you know, what the what you're actually getting rid of, but it clearly doesn't serve anymore. And the way the relationship with my mom then has continued to evolve has been its own thing, right? Like I never knew how it was going to go. I just knew this is something that I need to do for myself, right? So that this has been this whole journey. And I look at the chart or I hear the things that a few of these different astrologer friends were sharing. And I'm like, well, duh. And I think to myself, if only I'd looked ahead, right? Because it's interesting. Clients literally come to me for this. Hey, I want to see what I should do for the year ahead. And then I, you know, put my like tunnel vision on and I, you talk about quarters in your business. I'm very business minded. I say, hey, Q1 for you next year is going to look like this. Q2 is like this and we chunk it out. I could have predicted for somebody else that, hey, like March is probably going to be interesting. Like get ready. But I don't do that for myself. Because again, I know myself. Like put me in, coach. I know I'm going to figure it out when I get there. I don't know how much I want to know that it's coming, but I love knowing that it's aligned when it's happening. Totally. No, no, no. I get that too. I mean, there's, I was talking to a friend, another friend who's like on her fertility journey and she's like getting into femtech, right? Like sort of like monitoring and whatever. And I have obviously at this point, no judgment about anything that anybody fucking does. So it's, it's not coming from that place. But I told her, I was like, you know, there's, there's just ways that we can analyze and put metrics on reality that end up being constrictive, right? That like press a red light button instead of a green light button. I mean, this is why you'll never catch me checking a receipt or even knowing what something costs, because it's the method that I have for staying always open and letting currency flow through me. And I'm not saying it's a good method for anybody else, but it's a method that feels good for me because I immediately psychologically assign all sorts of judgments and whatever. And like, that should be this, cost this and not that or whatever. When I don't know, none of that goes on. So I was saying that to her, like, fuck around and find out. However, you might recognize that it's more constricting. And obviously, this is why so many people when they stop trying and go to adopt the kid, then they get pregnant. It's the very basic primal psychology. So I totally get that like not wanting to have it foretold. And there's something almost like, I was just like feeling this when you were telling the story, like there's something mythico poetic, you know, when you know about the shit you're going through that you otherwise might label as just bad, you know, when you can see it in a lineage level context, you know? And so maybe even retrospectively, that helps. But maybe there's like a layer. Once something starts to rumble, there's like a layer to access where you can sort of say like, okay, something. I feel that now even in the little passive dabbling that I've done, like, oh, something literally epic is occurring in my life scape. And as like, quote unquote, it's stressful or whatever as it is, of course, it's exciting when, at least for me, when things are in movement, they're like dynamic. So I want to just like double click on this. We said nobody talks about this. What you said too about the, I mean, you didn't use this word, but like the the sort of nihilistic moments, I guess, that you had in this like way bigger than you saw coming transition. Like when I was in practice, I'm sure I've said this to you, a good like 30% of my practice was suicidal at any given time, actively struggling on the edge of action. And I got to the place and I was not spiritual girly at that time. I was very into functional medicine and natural medicine and very dedicated to deprescribing. That's about it. But I saw it over and over and over again. And because I was very invested in being non-reactive and unafraid and unfreaky as their provider, I never sent anybody to an emergency room or whatever. I got to watch the arc, which almost nobody ever gets to see because we're so conditioned and entrained around fear of death and whatever it might mean to reject this life on that level, right? So everybody's overreactive calling 911. And I mean, I think like technically actually, that's why we have the phrase committing suicide, right? Like it's like illegal or something. That's so funny. I actually don't even know if that's true, but I've heard that. Anyway, and so it was, I learned that it is a part, it is part of the anatomy of transformation. Literally, it's part and parcel of the shedding of an identity. You could even say like the holder, the keeper of that identity is being de-centered. That comes with a natural self-protective protest on the part of that part. Okay. So like, if you don't know that, then it's like, it's got to be so existentially destabilizing to the point where you might think, oh, this is something I need to, yeah, maybe that's it for me. This is unappealing. It's intolerable. I want to press the reset button and just like roll the dice on my next incarnation, if that's what you believe whatever. And so I think that's important to just acknowledge that that's what comes up when something of this, right? Like when you think about like, even just in your house with the parental figures, like what Matt's system was reading biologically, what your system was reading biologically, and why that might not be compatible with adult exploration like, oh, I don't know, procreation, right? It's just so deep. And that maturation, it's an initiation of the most epic proportions. I remember when you first started to let me in on what you were going through, I was like, oh my, this is so big. And it's rare to be able to perceive it while it's happening. For many of us, maybe as we all mature, it becomes less rare. And in the moment, you can be like, oh, I'm shifting identities into the adult, out of the child. And so obviously, that feels terrifying to a part of me that has only looked at the world through the child's not only psychological lens, but literal biological imprint. It's so intense. Oh my gosh. It's so intense. Okay. So much good stuff. Did I tell you that I started EMDR or did I tell you that I was going to start? Yeah. You tell me you're going to. So I've done, technically I've done four sessions, but it's like one session with the lights and then one session unpacking the previous session. And then again, lights. And so anyway, I've done two sessions with the lights. And the first one was a little bit more powerful than the second one thus far. But a lot of what you're talking about here, sort of the integration of what I just went through. that's what I'm finding this really helpful for is that there's I'm just having these bing bing like sparks of aha moments of like oh I didn't even think of that perspective or interesting how did I not think of that perspective already like for especially for as self-aware and all the things that that I am whatever like sometimes you just need to hear and you know see it from another angle and this has been really interesting for unpacking my dreams have been fascinating and she does a really great job, this therapist I'm working with, with dream analyzation or analysis, whatever. Thank you. I was like, analyzation. That's fine. But back to this whole piece of you don't get to see this from people. I feel more and more passionate about this because this has been something actually that my friendship with you has been one of the the biggest permission expanders in like raw, deep, honest sharing. Because when you have a space where you can say anything and share anything, and somebody has the capacity to hold that and perhaps reflect back to you something useful, perhaps just listen, but at least you know that it's safe and that they're there to hear it and hold it. That's like so fucking powerful. And I think so many times people don't even know that they're looking for that or need that. And the other piece of this, this has come up a lot in the last week or so in conversation, is how we define so many things, right? Like going through something like what I just went through, What are people going to think? I'm so ashamed. I feel guilty about what people think about this. I am putting so much pressure on my husband, whatever. We define everything as right, wrong, good, bad. And before you know it, you've put this entire weight on yourself that is all fucking made in your head. So for me, I think that one of the things I've given my permission, permission to myself in this last year is to slow the fuck down, stop defining shit by whatever stories I'm clearly because I'm a very good storyteller. So I can, I mean, I can sell ice to an Eskimo and I can like, I can talk myself in and out of anything. And I'm aware of that. So being aware of that, I really try to zoom out and go, how surrendered can I be? And in an astrological sense my North node which is my Dharma my purpose in this life where I find the most obstacles my most unlocked path is in Pisces the sign of surrender I don know what that means I like I fix things I a problem solver. I'm really good at that. So that's what I'm going to do. It means surrender. But as I've surrendered, I have, it's opened up this whole new world for me and me sharing with my choice few people who I chose to let into my like very inner circle. And it was so interesting because some of them were like no brainers to me, like, like you or, you know, my husband or, you know, my best, best friend. But there were like a couple of random people that just my intuition said, this person is going to be able to hold you here for whatever reason. And I was able and to say, here's where I'm at, and I'm in a tough spot. And they would check in with me every other day, every few days, hey, how's it going? Just knowing that was for me really medicinal and I was so appreciative and I also needed to be in my thing and people understood that, you know, and, and I've never spent that long in my house ever. Like I didn't leave my house for like, I think six weeks. I maybe didn't actually step outside. I mean, I stepped outside to, you know, play with the chickens or whatever, but for the most part, I was like in it. I was in it, right? So I think that people realizing that this is a part of everybody's soul journey in some way. Everybody. You did not come here to silo yourself and close down and suppress and not be connection. Like there's a million different roads you can take to get there. We're tribal beings, we're whatever. But ultimately, the amount at which we have normalized closing ourselves off, being disconnected, and fitting into this like cultural and societal expectation of walking this path orderly, the right way, whatever, like that has to be demolished. And I truly believe we're in the process of doing that in this age of Aquarius, whatever, however you want to say it. And I'm really glad we are because we need to normalize this shit. We need to normalize the shit because if not, we're not going to alchemize what we're meant to collectively. And I think the evolution of humanity just doesn't happen the way that it could as powerfully happen, I suppose. I mean, it's always, I'm also a big believer, like everything happens as it's fucking supposed to. I don't really like the everything happens for a reason. But I do believe that things unfold the way that they're supposed to ultimately, like, we only have so much control. But anyway, yeah, I wish that more people would feel more comfortable picking up the phone asking for help, just fucking knowing they have safe space in people and, you know, in their friends and their family. I know, but that's why they say that a therapist or even a coach or a guru even can only help you as much as they've embraced their own shadow, right? So because otherwise they're going to bump up against their own projected, rejected parts in you. So you come to them with a certain kind of concern, story, information, and you'll experience their fear, their self-protective judgment or whatever. And obviously we see this in friendships. So that's why like the more you surround yourself with people who have worked to neutralize like their, the good bad split to whatever extent, right? have worked to at least bring curiosity to their certainty about the way, the more, like you said, permission you're going to have to show them your raw, vulnerable process before it's worked out. Like some of us, I am not this person, but some of us will wait until we have a curated narrative of what's happening to share it, right? Like I have friends who like have, you know, their expansion is leaning into sharing when it's just a mess, right? And it's not clear whether they fucked up, somebody else fucked up, everybody fucked up and what actually is going on. But when you surround yourself with people who, because it's not just not non-judgmental because that sort of like passive receptivity sometimes doesn't feel empathically connecting, right? So It's more that there's just like a no holds barred appreciation for your process, right? And of course, that's what I feel with you too. I mean, the number of times that the women close to me have witnessed me be like, got that wrong. You know, like it's like, y'all are probably waiting for it at this point, like as soon as I get enthusiastic about something. So that's totally normalized for me. And I don't know, I feel like we're all, to agree, I feel like we're all maturing this ideologue in us, this dogmatic, especially in the wellness, I don't know, quasi new agey adjacent world that we find ourselves often in together. It's like some of us are realizing that it's not it. It's not it to be these like, you know, rigidly boundaried around the good things that the good girls do and the bad things that the bad girls do. And therefore all of the behaviors that would get you in trouble with your community. I mean, it doesn't actually confer a sense of belonging if you're like walking on eggshells around like what are the things that are acceptable and what are the things that aren't as like a former dogmatist like I I know that the shadow of that so yeah no it's very powerful to be in a process and to be able to confide in people who are curious and interested and not afraid right like not concerned like he said in the beginning like not concerned for you because they know fundamentally that you're, you were designed for this, you're born for this, like you, we wouldn't be experiencing it if it wasn't like the next best chapter in your book, you know? Totally. I think having that innate trust in myself and that my body truly always knows exactly what it's doing. And the only thing it's ever trying to do is achieve homeostasis. Why would it ever be doing otherwise. It just doesn't make sense to me. So like when that's one of those truths that I feel like I'm not dogmatic at all, but there are certain truths that I've definitely been like, wow, okay, this is too powerful to sort of disentangle from. And these are like, you know, pillars for me. That's one of them, right? Like that belief, I don't see how that belief could really do me wrong. Now, if you at some point it didn't, I'm like you, I will change and I'll be like, damn, I was wrong about that. And that's okay. So my body, I am only ever trying to be the most comfortable best version of me. So that means that whatever pain I'm going through, whatever shit is happening is part of the evolutionary process. Cool. The Socratic paradox was one of the first things that for me really changed like my life, which all that I know is that I know nothing. I mean, that was like balm for my Sagittarian heart. I was like, okay, I'm allowed to admit that I actually don't know jack shit. And for my Arian, I'm very strong Aries that can be really bullheaded and really confident, overly so, and very direct and all these things. That was very humbling for me and so helpful to realize I don't fucking know, actually. I don't know anything. Like none of us, when you speak with extreme confidence on any topic that you haven't actually actively experienced, or I just, I'm sorry, it just doesn't, it doesn't work that way. So for me, that's a, that's a huge one. I'm a student at Tony Robbins and one of his, you know, famous lines, he's not the first one who said it, but his life is happening for you. It's not happening to you. It's happening for you. That has been a really helpful one for me too, especially when you're in the depths. Fuck. I don't know why this is happening for me, but it's happening for me. And if I can stay rooted in that, then like whatever happens from here, I trust that I'm only working my way toward whatever is the next best thing for me. Those are some of my pillars that I feel like me acting from that place, the way I can hold space for others is then a representation and an example of what I expect from others and what's possible. Because then you come to me or whomever comes to me and hey, like my friend called me earlier, she's going through this divorce, et cetera. She calls bullshit going on. And she's like, hey, I just need a vent real quick. Says what she's got to say. And then I'm able to say, I hear you, bro. And like, no one knows what's better than you. Nobody ever will know. And I'm here to say you should fucking feel angry. Good for you. Let that shit out. And, you know, if you want to hear my two cents, here they are. And also at the end of the day, you can take my two cents and say, thanks, but no thanks and carry on your merry way. And you're always going to make the right decision. I want those people in my corner 100% of the time. That's yeah. So I'm with you. I also really quick wanted to go back to the I loved the little bit that you were saying about not constraining yourself by not looking at receipts. You and I have a really similar way of dealing with monies. It's funny because it's polar opposite of Matt. But something that I have always done is if I get anytime I get an invoice in, like somebody pays for anything. I have a astrology is my one of my businesses. I also have a photography business. And whenever anything comes in, I treat myself to something. It doesn't matter. It could be something small. It could be that that is how for me, the abundance flows. I'm like, oh, got a $5,000 payment. I'm going to go ahead and buy myself a $500 something. Somebody told me one year to I don't remember the name of the book. I think it's called like, I don't remember, Profit First, I think, where it's like, no matter what you get in, the first 1% goes to savings or pay yourself or whatever. I don't know. And you're supposed to have like eight bank accounts and one bank accounts for this and all these things. And I was like, gonna do it. And I didn't do it. And I was like, no, this, I don't even count the percentage. It's just this came in. What feels good to me right now? Oh, I wanted that pair of shoes. Oh, I wanted this thing. Like that's how I function to not make myself ever feel constrained. And it's worked really well for me. So I just... Totally. And that's the hack is to figure that out. But it's so personal. Like what that looks like. You can read Millionaire Mind or whatever. It's probably that book. And... Or Mindset or whatever. And recognize that that would be like absolute prosperity sabotage for somebody. oh my gosh this is amazing what's the guy that a bunch of people whoever he is his name's at the tip of my tongue but he's like he's famous for his thing is like until you have zero debt you don't step foot in a restaurant unless you're like washing dishes like it's that strict right that like and I'm like oh no no no I can't I've worked for some people but I can't but for some people it works right so and also men and women probably relate very differently to the maths of money Yeah. Amazing. Do you want a little just nugget of what's going on in your chart? Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. Give it to me. Now book my full reading. Sure, you guys heard it here first. And we'll just have a follow up at some point and see if that's true. Okay, so the primary things I want to call out to you that are happening at this moment, and I'm going to keep this really rudimentary because without looking at the chart, it can get complicated and I don't want to lose you or people. But I will say, remember, we've got your birth chart where every planet was the moment you were born. And then we've got where the planets are right now in the sky. And one of the major things that you've got going on here that I love to see, and I actually think I shifted this back to March 3rd because we were talking about that date before. And I can mention why that is, but I'm going to move it back to right now just to be a little bit more accurate to what I'm saying. But this transit is occurring, you know, planets move at different speeds. I want to talk a little bit about where Saturn is right now. Saturn is the daddy of the zodiac, right? Saturn is the disciplinarian, the elder, the principal of the school. I like to think of him as so when we have Saturnian energy influencing us, it's like you got called into the principal's office and he's like, hey, are you doing what you're supposed to be doing? What lessons are you learning? Do we need to restructure? Do we need to move some things around to be a little bit more ordered? So it's a very intentional energy. It's very serious. We've used this word constraint quite a bit, actually. It's very constraining. So Saturn entered Aries a little while back, and we work with degrees in the zodiac. Like I said, we've got these 30-degree chunks. So Saturn is at five degrees of Aries and you have Jupiter and Venus conjunct at four and seven in Cancer. So I'm going to leave it. That's pretty simple. Let's just take the numbers four, five, and seven. We know that those are within a three degree spread of each other. And Aries and Cancer are in what's called a square relationship to each other. So a square relationship causes tension. It's like a catalytic energy that sort of like we have pressure and it's like, OK, hey, something's got to happen here to move energy. You can think of like the steam leaving the pot. There's a lot of different ways of thinking of this. But essentially, daddy Saturn is moving through the sky and basically pushing on your natal, your kind of essential Venus and Jupiter conjunct, which is a powerful I talked to you a little bit the last time that we spoke. Venus and Jupiter conjunct in a chart and even just at any point is a really yummy energy, right? Venus is the goddess of love and flow and money and just this really beautiful energy. And Jupiter is all about expansion and luck and optimism and growth and all this great stuff. So the two of them in cahoots, you've got that in your second house of cash, property, finances, money. So that shows me, I know that this person probably has generally had good luck with money, that they probably bring abundance in flow without much issue, that they probably feel comfortable with money. These can be somewhat assumptions, except for that's what those energies show, just for how you generally are. However, with Saturn coming through and causing this relationship, he's basically coming in and saying, hey, whatever restructuring needs to occur in your area of cash property finances, cash property finances is like the main thing of the second house energy that you have. But that area also works with value, right? Because what do we spend our cash assets, our investments? What do we spend on? We spend on things that we value. So ultimately, this is also self-value. All these things kind of can go deeper. Regardless, big point just being, everything that you're talking about, what you've been going through, there's been this building energy, Saturn coming like, hey, I called you into the office. Come on in, come on in. And then finally, the day comes that he called you in. Right now, he's basically sitting square in between those two planets. And then he's going to keep moving and keep moving and keep moving. Once he moves over the seven degree mark and he gets past your Jupiter-Venus, there will still be a little bit of that, but it won't be so charged. Girl, when does that happen? I can actually find that out for you. What I did want to say... Stay tuned for the next episode. We can do that too, but it won't be too, too long. The question will be if it retrogrades back over because that's possible and I can look all those dates up, but that's where you're at with that. And the only other thing I'll say about that March 3rd, because it is worth mentioning, I think, You said you woke up on March 3rd and you had this moment of this realization of, oh, my God, I'm being duped and whatever else, however you described it. So Saturn, as I just described, not only is doing what it's doing with Jupiter and Venus, but it just also went over your south node. And your south node is karmic stuff that you're bringing in from past lives, etc. Another conversation for another day. But worth mentioning because your south node is an Aries. Okay, so we're in Aries season right now. This warrior energy, this courageous stuff, this like really fiery stuff. So you've got some of this energy in you and the karmic nature of what that might be, which could be overconfidence, could be a little too much fieriness, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. On March 3rd, Mars, who rules Aries, entered Pisces. And Pisces is the completion. It's the last sign of the Zodiac. It's the 12th sign. So often related to completions and often related to confusion and spiritual things. And when we talk about things like the veil of consciousness and all these kinds of things, we think of Pisces. So having the ruler of your south node, karmic past life stuff, while Saturn the Displinarian sitting on that come into Pisces and you wake up and think, what the fuck veil of confusion have I been operating under? What is going on is so perfect. I can't even explain. Like it was literally at zero degrees of Pisces that day. So that's no question to me. I'm a believer. you have to experience it to believe it oh my gosh amazing amazing yeah just get you know what it just like offers this like almost romantic poetic framework for like what otherwise would just feel like a dumpster fire and i am here for it all right so next next time we chat I'll let you know if there's a retrograde going on or if I've transited into the... I'll let you know, you mean? Well, I'll let you know because I'll be like, well, that's done. Or I'll be like, it's still going on. No. Okay, we'll play that game. You can let me know if what you think is happening. And then you confirm her. Yes, exactly. Perfect. All right, girl, I'm going to let you go. Thank you for this. Thank you for this pop-up reading. I love this. This is so fun. From chickens and cats to, you know, Dark Knight of the Soul. Just the Mellie and Kelly show. This is just lovely. Thank you for having me. And I look forward to next time. I love you. Love you too. you Thank you. Thank you.