Morning Routine Cringe (girl edition)

IT'S BACK. >> [screaming] >> CRINGE MORNING ROUTINES. This feels like a Italian bachelor season one type beat. And I don't know what season we're in right now, but this is this is a throwback regardless. There's something so satisfying about watching other people pretend to wake up and do stuff in in the day when you know that they're lying, you know? They'll do some like 5:00 a.m. And I can see the clock in the background that says 6:00 p.m. I love that. So, that's what we're going to be watching today. I hope you guys have a bowl of oats or something, a bowl of slop ready to chow out on whilst we watch cuz I'm going to be feasting on laughter. How many grams of protein are in laughter with between friends, me and you? I don't know. A lot. My husband is not worried about me cheating. He's worried about me adding another step to my morning routine. You know what? I I can't comment on this. I feel if I comment, I'm in trouble. OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT? Morning routine 6:30. This is this is this is the I'm talking about now. >> [laughter] >> Back to business as usual. These are the cringe morning routines I'm looking for. Time to take off the suit. Time to shed the skin. What was that? The money toilet roll. I wonder if that's a flex a flex or not. Because the thing is, do you really know when you're done if you're wiping with that? I don't think you do. You'd miss a little speck on the dollar sign if it was there. See what I'm getting at? Brush your face. Drink. Penis. Penis roller. >> [snorts] >> Be heavy the snail at the end of my garden when I look it dead in the eyes and say, "I'm going to race you against another snail." Okay, brushing the teeth now. What Okay, what's that? What's that? Hyper three sets of hyperventilating through a silicon plunger? That's so many stuff on her face. I mean, I know that skin's hydrated as hell. That's what I'm going to say. But, it kind of needs to be hydrated as hell cuz do you guys see what I see? She's smothered in down there. Oh my might. I don't know which one. So, sometimes it needs a little reset like this. Good morning. She spent the whole night stood up like that because she's a doll. Good morning. I've been watching you on the baby cam. You haven't moved an inch. She's been waiting for mom to come back in since she was put down to bed. Oh, who's my big girl? Go wake your sister's up. Good morning, sweetie. Oh, her sister's also a doll. They look so realistic. >> Good morning, Adelia. Wait, is that No. Full grown one. I didn't know you could get different levels. I thought it was just like this big. So, wait. She's got three dolls. No way. They're getting food. Wait, there's more. Goodbye. Are any of them real? How many do you have? There's like five. Five dolls. Here you go, sweet girl. You better No, she's pretending to do it. >> mornings. >> [sighs] >> I can't believe that she does that bit as well. Um, your newborn sounds a lot like a full grown woman. Oh, I hate mornings. I mean, she seems fully sentient. She get that looked at. Oh, this is a this is an interesting one to tackle. Um, my my question would be what happens if at one point she gets bored of doing it or can't do it anymore? Dolls are still all the same age, obviously. You can't really throw them in the bin because she'll be so attached to them. So, what does she do with them? What are we doing today? Putting together the storage racks and organizing all the hair accessories. Mhm. Katie, Katie, wake up. OI, STOP FIGHTING. WAKE UP. CONTROL your children, please. Mama, I want I want bottle. Make me bottle, Mama. I mean, she can't I mean, she's doing the voice. I'm a genius. She's doing the voice, so she must not really feel like it's real, you know? Some people do it so it feels real, so it's like it it helps them through trauma or whatever, but this is I mean, she she's do she knows she's doing the voice. Mama, I want bottle. Mama, I want bottle. All right, I'll give you bottle. NO, SERIOUSLY. I SAID I'LL GIVE YOU BOTTLE. NO, PLEASE. NO, YOU'RE DRIVING ME UP THE BLOODY WALL NOW. WHY DO YOU NEED A BOTTLE? She's thirsty. Oh. This is for your little sister. Uh-oh. I need to get more formula. I know I'm your favorite baby, Mama. You've got me. I'm your favorite baby. Circling everything I want for Christmas. Christmas. I just want Christmas. Give me that baby. Give me mine. Sorry, what? I mean, it's just one big game of pretend, really. It's like Sylvanian dollhouse, but just bigger and she's in it, really. Cuz she I don't I don't I don't think she she's pretending like they're real. She's just playing. I think she's playing. I don't know. Mama. Oh, wow. Look at this. Red, pink, gold. Oh, I want some of this, Mama. Oh, of course. You've been No, I'm sorry, Mama. You've been I shouldn't have said that. You've been making this formula bottle for a long time. I've seen you put it in there a few times now. It's the same shot. Well, of course. I know you can hear me. know how to what to say. This I shouldn't have said that. You've been making this formula bottle for a long time. I've seen you put it in there a few times now. It's the same shot. Well, of course. I know you can hear me. I don't I don't know how to what to say. This I said it about some of the My Strange Addiction things. How do people fund this life? How does she fund That looks like a nice home as well. Doesn't look like she's got any time to do to have a job. So, how how's this funded? Oh, I would love to help. Okay, she's really good at mimicking the crying. That was actually really good. Danny, you better come in here. All right, I'll be right there, Adelia. Still doing the bottle. Peppa, what in the world? That is Lottie's bottle. Now, give that to me. COME ON. I DIDN'T THINK WE'D WE'D SEE HER IN THE same frame as the talking. Peppa, what in the world? That is Lottie's bottle. Now, give that to me. COME ON. YES, IT IS. THIS IS NOT YOUR BOTTLE. This is your sister's. Here you go, sweetie. No, don't Unrealistic, they wouldn't be able to make that sweet ass jump, by the way. That's so The kids just jump That's a big jump for a kid. And landed it, didn't even bend his knees. Literally just straight legged it and just walked off fine. Oh goodness. Your sisters. They're already up to no good. Is that one real? No. Oh, sweet girl. >> Wow, that one's really realistic. That one's really realistic. Okay, that's Yeah, that's um that's an interesting morning routine. I don't know if I'd be able to do that every morning. You have to be six different people every morning. You're giving you're mak- giving yourself so much work for no real reason. And also, why five? Why five dolls? That is a lot. That's a big household. Condensing my roommate's insane three-hour night time routine into a six-minute TikTok. She is medicated. OH, A NIGHT TIME ROUTINE. YES. THIS IS like having your phone on dark mode instead of light mode. What? Step one is water bottle preparation. This is my inside water bottle and this is outside water bottle. Rinse this one with hot water and then we dump out my outside water bottle. Okay, having an inside and an outside water bottle is >> [laughter] >> It's crazy, but I love water bottles as well. Look at this nice little piece I got. It's glass. How cool is that? And now I've got all my greasy hands because I just put some hand cream on before this recording. That's how bougie I'm getting. That's just an That's just an insight into how bougie my brain is right now. Greasy hand creamed hands on a glass bottle. Clorox wipes the counter. Usually, I would also vacuum. Lately, there's just been a lot happening. Okay, so a lot of cleaning. I'm really going to like watching this video and seeing everything that's going on. The next section is going to be getting my room ready. Getting my room ready. I had to think [snorts] about it for a second. Yeah, that's about Yeah, that's a good way to describe it, I guess. I kind of I mean, this kind of seems like the dream roommate so far, to be honest. I know a lot of people be like, "Oh gosh, you're a work clean freak." But, she gets in, she cleans the counter and the handle, which is perfect because I'm guilty of loving I love to lick door handles. That's the truth. Then I make my bed. My throw pillow goes here. I don't make the bed. The soft pillows go in front. Oh, okay. This is my blanket that goes in my head at night. I have to fold up my PJs. That bed looks so cozy, actually. >> Now, I need to pick out my outfit for tomorrow. But, luckily, I already said that. This is how we fold it. That's how organized this person is. She usually picks out the outfit for tomorrow the night before, but she's already done it, which means she did it the night night before. Imagine that. I had a couple comments on my last video. There's a certain t-shirt Oh, I'll show you. There's a certain t-shirt I like wearing and you guys you guys are like, "Oh, how how many times is he going to wear that t-shirt?" It just so happens to be the sort of t-shirt that I wear when I film, okay? I do wear other stuff. And the comments, quite quite frankly, hurt my feelings. Someone said, "Oh, I know it stank." I know how to use a dishwasher. This little number. Remember this? Of course, you do. I've worn it in every video so far. The level of creasing should be proof that it's recently been washed. In fact, I might wear this in the next recording. So, what I was getting at is I wake up and and just basically just put on that I love Japan t-shirt and a random pair of trousers every day. That's how I prep my outfits. And then I put this right here. I grab my shoes. That's such an organized cupboard. And then whatever shoes I had on today go back in their home. Wow. You wore two pairs of shoes today? Well, yeah. I had two outfits on today. How do you let two outfits That's freaking awesome. That's freaking awesome. I need one of them. I know that I'm going to be using my backpack tomorrow. So, I got That's right. She's going to take out her tiny purse and then she's going to TAKE OUT HER MASSIVE PURSE. THAT'S A MASSIVE PURSE JOKE FOR THOSE at home. The idea being that she then pulls out a purse that is way more bigger than the little purse that she brought out. I mean, honestly, I would love to be that organized. Sometimes you do genuinely reach flow state though and you kind of are like that in the evenings. Anyone else get that? Where you just all of a sudden you're just like, "What the going on?" You you They're prepping your outfit for the next day, prepping your backpack. Sometimes people carry backpacks. Sometimes I carry a backpack. Fill it with stuff, the essentials, an inhaler, and a pair of keys. That's it. Just a single drop? As opposed to I actually do a similar thing. After I Well, just before I get into the shower, I wring out my clothes from the day into a glass. I wipe down my body with a with a paper towel, wring that out. Because what that essentially is is sea salt water in a way. It's just body salt. I'll get in the shower, I'll come out, and I'll put that water I'll put that into my hair so it gets like a wavy effect sort of thing going on so I don't have to use harmful products. And then yeah, sure, my head stinks, but it is just the best It's just the most efficient way to style it and then I sort of go about my day. So, it's very similar to the using the Aveeno hair oil. Don't trust that bottle. Now what? Okay, now to do the part. [snorts] Call call her Moses cuz she just parted that thing. >> [laughter] >> Wait, what? You wash your hair every night? You just put your hair in the bin? Did you just put your hair in the bin or Oh, you do cuz your hair comes out your butt and puts in it goes into the drain, so you take that and you put it in the bin. You Surely that's like a sign to be like, "Okay, maybe we shouldn't Maybe we shouldn't wash our hair every day." When you have to be putting something in the bin every Every day you're getting a little bit balder. That bin bin is getting a little bit more full. You should just keep it. Dry Dry it out on the windowsill. And then eventually you've just got a fuck-ass wig. You're growing a fuck-ass wig, basically. Nail scrub. >> [clears throat] >> In bed now. Rewatching 26 minutes of screen time. She's there playing a game, rewatching Love Island, doing emails. How do you rewatch Love Island? I get rewatching like a big series, but rewatching Love Island's kind of That's kind of left field. I've never I've never known anyone to do that, really. I just want to see them be pulled for a chat again. I just want to see if they're going to put all their eggs in one basket again. That's all I want to see. Why is your computer made of It's a pair of jeans. Why is your computer wearing jeans? Your computer is denim. I've never seen a computer like that in my life. Wow. Oh, no, you just ate the whole week's. You just did Monday and Tuesday by accident. Both lids were open. You're going to be too medicated now. You're going to be too on it, too controlled. Let the demons loose a little bit. Ah, go crazy. Oh, you just get them all open before you do it. Whoa, that is a lot of alarms. I Sorry, there's a lot to unpack there because she gets her apps open ready. So, that It's like getting things out on the side. And then she goes through the apps and does does them. And then she's got an alarm every like 2 minutes. Well, it is every two It's not though, is it? Cuz it's a 2-minute alarm, then three, then three, then two again. I can tell cuz of cuz I know maths. What's she plotting there? You didn't mention that. Oh, you plot over the sink for a little bit. What were you planning? Something evil, it looked like. Curtain is in. Gumshield in, ready for a fight. Nipple cream. Cream. She's You can just eat nipple cream like that. Why am I just finding out about that? I've been eating freaking E45 this whole time cuz I didn't know you could just eat nipple cream. She's planning something again. This is getting out of hand. It's getting out of hand. She keeps What am I going to do next? What am I going to do? How many creams? Oh, this for the ears? Oh, no, I couldn't wear gloves to bed cuz I didn't suddenly become a different person. >> [laughter] >> Oh, the first one goes on. I don't think I'll need another one. I think one glove is just enough. >> [laughter] >> Wow, this is so specific. It looks cozy though. >> [laughter] >> And okay, my honest opinion, that I mean, that's not cringe in the slightest. That's just a great nighttime routine and I'm super jealous I don't live like that. That's There you go. Truth bomb. This isn't the cringe morning routines like those millionaires who get up and just I get up and read Marcus Aurelius. I put an audiobook of Marcus Aurelius on an iPad Mini and I shove it up my ass. And then I eat 3 gallons of yogurt and I go to the gym. I mean, this is an excessive nighttime routine, but I God, wow. It's just It's giving such a clean vibe, you know? I feel like I get up like a garden troll every morning, where she's probably getting up like the tooth fairy, you know? Lady shows off her morning routine as a dollar mom. Wrap it up. Back to the cringe. We had a minute of peace. We had a minute where we were just fairies. And now Yeah, this is going to be a tough pill to swallow. Do you know what else is a tough pill to swallow? This, because it's not a pill. >> [cough] >> Good moment to take to subscribe, just to have a minute away from me, and then you can come back and then we can watch this. Okay, let's go. Just a normal Sunday in my life. 9,000 steps just to get coffee. Why so many secret doors? Why your door so big? Why Is that a dog house? My god, you'd really want to upset your house just to get in the dog house. >> [laughter] >> No, you ah missed it up. You'd really want to upset your partner just so you're in the dog house. >> [laughter] >> If that's the bloody dog house, I'm going TO BE A BASTARD. THE DOGS have cots. The dogs have an upstairs. Your dog's got an upstairs. Your dog has a dinner table. >> [music] >> You could do a 5K in that shower. Why is the dog not in the dog house? Get out. Oh, is this in Is this upstairs in the dog house? That's why he's there. That They've just got a shower up there like that. Look at the size of it. Play a game of baseball [clears throat] in it. Do you know what? I think God, I really want to be in a bag that big. Let's play a game of drink every time you see something relatable. No, cutting up fruit is is seriously rich people activities, cutting up fruit like that. You know when you see people doing a morning like a routine video and they're clearly very wealthy, they start cutting up fruit, you know they're on some It's not just they're making a snack, they're making something. They're making something crazy. Look at that. I mean, their food looks better than mine. It's on a plate. I don't even eat out dog bowl bowls. They've got a shoulder thing. There's so much this is not even the main kitchen. The this is probably utility. Right. So that's the main kitchen. That would that's that's like that's a really nice kitchen but at least it's like there's nothing too crazy going on here. I'll take a little sip for it. There's eggs there. I feel like these they're probably like rich yolk eggs, aren't they? I'll take a little sip. Okay, massive oven. See what I mean? There's some there's some fruit No one's going to eat that amount of fruit in one sitting. Is the dog having a bath there? What's going on now? Look at that home gym. Read it and weep, mate. Me too. I got tired just watching this. I'm exhausted. How do you think I feel? How do you think I'm feel? I'm a bit lazier at the moment. How do you think I feel? Oh the amount of times my face is just been They've even got one of these hanging things. I've seen people just spin around on them. I know it's cool. Is that for the dogs? I feel like it is. Like anything that's like kid-like is for the dogs. They've got a basketball court indoors. I'd be so reluctant to post a day in the life like this if I was this rich because you tend to just have people in the comments going [snorts] you, you know? It's not very relatable. It's just like there's only so many times you can Look, comments on this post have been limited. There's probably people been in there like for Really? It's probably the sort of thing that you don't you probably don't I mean it's tough, isn't it? You probably should You can't really post relatable daily content because it's not relatable. I'm enjoying watching like the craziness of this house. So I kind of I like it but I know there's a lot of people who'd be like what the is this? It's a moral quandary, really, isn't it? And that's it. Ends at the basketball court. Of course. Obviously. Obviously ends at the basketball court like all good days do. Oh my god. Nuts. Actually nuts. Well, I I'm not surprised I mean we didn't we probably didn't see the whole of the house but if I was that rich, I would have a I would have a serious cinema room. There I said it. I know that's crazy but I said it. And I'd have a a pond as well. There I said it. Cancel me. Cancel me. I don't care. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> I'm lost. Is this a bundle? In the beginning she just had that she was just glowing. Literally [snorts] glowing. And then all of a sudden I shouldn't have said children just keep coming in with stuff. She keeps throwing stuff around. I feel I feel like this one might have been lost in translation with me. This is me the whole video just minus the teeth. Here's my morning routine except I'm not like other girls. I wake up like 11:00 and no, I'm not a morning person. You do not want to piss me off. Don't speak to Most girls might be like don't speak to me without my morning coffee. Yes, they say coffee but they really mean just a ton of syrup and milk. Me, however, I get up and I have a black coffee and a cigarette. I'm not like other girls. That's what I'm talking about right there. By the way, I'm well aware this is satire. I'm well aware but it's still funny so I'm going to watch it. Oh. I know it's satire but please. Don't like that at all. Coffee. I've got two rules. One, don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. And two, don't break rule number one. >> [laughter] >> Oh god, I don't like that. Well, that's not but that's just milk. Just sweet milk and not a good in a good way. >> Call it coffee? I call it my anti-murder juice. We don't like humans. Oh no, it's just getting worse and worse. We don't like humans. I think this is like if you've got the mission to make someone cringe. If you do this, it will work every single time. I don't think anyone could watch this and and be like this isn't cringe, you know? It's like that is just definitely too far. Yep, that's real bad hair. I hate having long thick hair. It's time to get ready which really takes me like 5 minutes. >> By the way. Did I just do the perfect messy bun? Yes, girls. That's my natural skin. I don't like makeup. And I'm just throwing on this sweatshirt, the one of the dogs. >> it all the way. Please, pull it all the way. >> I'm so tiny, ain't it? I'm just a baby. And lastly and not least >> The voiceover I bought. >> [laughter] >> I'm just a baby. And you can keep scrolling. It's gaming time. Yes, I'm a girl. >> this is a great bit to have the controller the wrong way around. This is clever. I guarantee there's people who think this is legit. Oh, this is from 2023. This is like before cuz this cuz she's pretty famous now. So I reckon there's definitely people who thought this is real. Controller is backwards. >> [snorts] >> It worked. We're out there. We exist. Now, do not disturb. Gaming mode activated. >> licked it. Oh no, not the foot. Yeah, that was a rough watch. Back in the cringe territory. It's not No, I feel at home here. It's good to be here. I'm a bad boy. >> Hello everybody. This is the nighttime routine of a bad girl. I'm a bad girl from Barbados. We start our night routine with a hot girl run. Let's go. I'm not going to show you me running cuz y'all have seen that before. Damn. [laughter] Running from something. She's Who's doing the voiceover? Drake? Or let's not talk about it. This was me after the run so beautiful. Then I drank my water because we are hydrated queens over here. Yes, and I ate some moldy raspberries. They weren't that bad. Not half as bad as this expired smoothie I got for sale. Never again. It was absolutely rancid. Then I took a shower because I am not musty. All right, now I'm going to strip for y'all. 3 2 1 psych. Y'all need Jesus. Go get saved. This was me after the shower. So clean, so fresh. I was modeling my pajamas. Kendall Jenner could never. Move over, Gigi Hadid. Then I watched Soul because I'm a sucker for cartoons. >> No, not [laughter] the foot. The foot is messed up. No. Absolutely no effect on me because bad girl don't have soul. Bad girl is heartless. I actually found it quite amusing. Look at me. I'm smiling. >> Okay, Drake definitely did this. Yeah, Drake definitely did this voiceover. There's no way anyone else did it. You're I'm cheese, dog. You're not seeing me running again. I'm bad girl from Ireland, dog. >> Don't mind that at all. I got sleepy. This was me after the movie fine as a feather because me's a bad girl. Then I brush my teeth because oral hygiene is important. Then I get into my lovely bed. It's a twin but it's fit for a queen. I love this thing more than I love myself, y'all. Have a beautiful week and always remember stay bad. >> I said I mean the voiceover I I don't know what's going on. >> [snorts] >> Maybe she's an island girl. I don't know. 5:00 a.m. routine for an anesthetic girl. 5:00 a.m. Just know I'll be looking for a clock to to verify that. Ooh, overnight oats. Hot. Fire. Kendall. Every time. Do you go to the wrong cupboard in your own home? You must [snorts] know. You must know where it is. I'm intrigued to see if she's getting ready for work or something. 6:48. I think so. 6:50. Bomb. Okay, out by 7:00. She's up at 5:00. There was a lot of just chilling in the morning. Some people like that. Some people get up 2 hours before they have to leave so they can chill for an hour, get ready for an hour and go. I think I fall into that category. I love getting up and having breakfast and maybe watching a little bit of YouTube before I then have to get ready and start working. Some people Yeah, I'm looking at you. Roll out of bed and leave within 5 minutes and we can tell. Musty ass. People love cream in their routines, don't they? They do. Restocking the office as well. Have you seen that video of the guy I mean I love watching re- fridge restock videos. You seen that guy is like I'm doing a restocking video but I'm broke. And he's like this. Okay, let's say I'm restocking dice. And it's just cuts between it's just the same item. It's funny if you watch it. It's not funny if I describe it. Oh, that's it. I I like a morning routine like that. I'm guilty. Oh, shoot me. Whatever. Sexy police are here to get me. Yeah, well, you let me get away for far too long. Me and Jacob are already still on the run. The problem is not everybody loves this routine and so therefore you get a lot of people who are late to things. If you get up 2 hours before you got to be somewhere, you're going to be on time. And you get to film a video in the morning. Think about that. Okay, guys. That's it for today because it's actually 2:00 p.m. So I'm going to get as an influencer I need to get ready for my nighttime routine. I clock off at 2:00. I clocked off at about 1:00. So it's been a long day for me. Thank you for watching. This has been a nice little throwback. I love a routine video. I really do love a routines video. Maybe I'll film my routine tonight but I'm really just going to like I said, dab my body of sweat, save it in a jar, put it in my hair after the shower, game for 12 hours and then go to sleep. There's no point me filming it. There you go. There's a description. Thanks for watching. Make sure you like, comment, subscribe, share this to your family group chat. Subscribe. Subscribe. Subscribe. That's it.