Pick Me Cringe Couples

What's going on, guys? Today's Valentine's Day. Can't you smell it? Love is in the air. Or is that pollution? Notice how I said today is Valentine's Day and not happy Valentine's Day. Because if you watch my videos, there's no way you're in a relationship, dude. Couples, we all know them. We all hate them. When I go to Nike, I only ask them for one shoe because I enjoy being single. I hate couples so much that I removed one of my lungs. But you know what I hate more than couples? >> Couples content. Ew. Couples content is kind of interesting considering that it can only be enjoyed by couples. If you show couples content to a single guy or a polyamorous guy, they're not going to get the joke. And it'll always be inherently cringe. There's never a time where you could watch couples content in public without everybody just thinking that you're a little weird. Then you exploded on laughter. >> The aspect I hate the most about couples content on the internet is how sexual it is. I have no issues with sexual jokes. It's more so the fact that the content is sexual, but then there's a joke in there that's also sexual, which is low-key kind of predatory. Yeah, I said it. Somebody called Chris Hansen. You don't need to show boobs or butts in a video to make a dick joke. That's over stimulating. Are you trying to make me moan or you trying to make me moan? You don't see standup comics doing that. >> You never think about your parents naming you until it hits you. That's that's your name, you know. Could you imagine being 12 named Bartholomew? >> Yeah, man. I bet you I bet you that school lunch was promised to you 3,000 years ago. >> Old Testament, [ __ ] >> Yeah. And uh >> that's how I found out I'm not supposed to be at the gynecology. >> So anyway, uh I got a sex joke ready for you guys. You ready to hear it? >> Yeah. >> Here we go. >> Yeah. >> So a man walks into the >> You know, but it also doesn't feel like Valentine's Day with everybody breaking up all of a sudden. Maybe Cupid brought the wrong arrows or some [ __ ] Why the hell is everyone breaking up today? >> Hello. >> Hey, so I [ __ ] up. What happened? >> It's actually pretty funny. So, I brought my sorrows instead of my arrow. What are sorrows? They're arrows, but they bring misfortune and pain and hatred to anyone that I hate. Why the hell do you have a quiver full of sorrows? >> I shoot opposing teams so I can hit my parlays. >> What? >> Hey, the Patriots were compromised this year. And >> daddy needs a new Mercedes. That is so reckless. You're fired. I understand. Hey, I wouldn't ever call your mom again. Remember how that one time your wife cheated on you and you were really sad you were going to like end it all. You know, silly stuff like that. Um, I felt that you needed some reassurance, so I pelted your mom with it. >> As many of the arrows that I have, and they weren't the love one, so I wouldn't I wouldn't try calling your mom ever again. And that would mean >> she wants to kill you. >> Don't worry, boss. I can fix this. What the Oh, I'm so stupid. This is my sparrow quiver. >> But today I put together three couple accounts that really do kind of grind my gears in one way or another. I find them interesting. By interesting, I mean interesting as uh being used as a mask to hide the fact that they're kind of cringe, but I don't want to say that they're cringe. You know what's going to help mask the fact that this video is going to be a little ass. Call me the government the way I be hiding [ __ ] from you guys. All right, so our first account is hoga.x. He has 1.4 4 million safaris. He has 1.4 million safaris. I thought there was only one of those. He has 1.4 million followers, which means I can make fun of him. POV, you owe your boyfriend money and he actually takes it. >> Here you go, baby. >> Thank you. >> Oh my gosh. >> You're really going to count it? >> Yeah. I'm not done. >> You shouldn't have taken it in the first place. >> Why? I mean, your girlfriend didn't give a [ __ ] >> I don't know where I was going to go. So many twists and turns. Like, firstly, yeah, why do you owe your boyfriend money? Secondly, why did he lock the door? Those gloves look so annoying to wear. I'm not a girl. I can't really speak on it, but they look so frustrating to wear. You know how comfortable I would be if I had gloves that just stopped right here? And he really ripped the money away from her. I don't know what currency this is, but they're for sure in Europe because Europe is the only place I know that has actual monopoly money as currency. How come no one has made that video yet? I could totally see a plethora of YouTubers. That's like, what's that guy's name with the candy? Who? So many YouTubers with food now. Food poisoning numbers are skyrocketing ever since the creation of YouTube. Ryan Treyan. That's like a Ryan Treyan video. I took Monopoly money to the UK to see if they would notice a difference. Spoiler alert, they didn't. Why is my voice British? Also, slow reaction on opening the door. You can tell it's scripted because there's no way you are locking the door faster than me opening it. If anything, it it would have been better for him to lock the door as soon as she get in there. I'm just saying, you know, from kidnapper to kidnapper. All right. Honestly, that one wasn't a good example because they were beefing in that video. My my eye itches. Oh, my eyes better. Thank you, God. I am Odysius, king of Icha. So, let's look at the next one. when he actually has to drive. So, I guess she's upset that he actually has to keep his eyes on the road. Sorry, babe. Kind of want to live here. What? You said put your hand on your thigh? Sure. Nope. You asked for this. You know I can't do two things at once. Okay. Me not having my hand here doesn't mean I don't love you. Okay, I'm going to put my hand back on the wheel now so we can drive. Yeah. Yeah, we're driving off a cliff right now. Yeah, it's over with. I hate you so much. This on some wet pad [ __ ] man. I'm not going to lie. This is This is like a little girl's fantasy of what it would be like in a relationship. You know, you see so much of the average male fantasy or etc., etc., whatever. And it's some like girl with big bazong honkas or whatever and that's it. But at least with the girl fantasies, the guy has some sort of personality. He's one like one big kid. Like just so even though that these fantasies are a little juvenile, I don't see an issue with these guys kind of giving life to that fantasy for other people. As long as it isn't taken too far, I think this is a fun outlet. So they're less pick me and more actors. All right. Next. Next. Graham. Okay, I take everything back. >> All the props I gave him, I take it back. There's kids on this app, man. No, like seriously. I know it comes off prudish, but come on now. Again, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it again. Just because you share a space with children doesn't mean that you don't get to act your age. That would be weird. not telling you to age play just because there's 14-year-olds on the app. It's more so like, hey man, maybe not put your your crotch on the camera cuz I can guarantee you that the 72,000 likes, half of them are like little kids. Like look at this. One year yet nothing's new. It's always the long distance and I feel like we don't have feelings anymore. See, that's sad firstly. And this person's like 16 and it only took a year for her to kiss your chest. [ __ ] virgin. By the time you guys have kids, my kids will be older than your kids. 90th year of dating. And she's finally unbuckling my belt. I want to give them a rating, but I I feel like that's not fair. They haven't shown any of the loveydovey stuff. POV. Your girlfriend owes you money. So, we got Oh my goodness. That just scared the [ __ ] out of me. He looks like a a husky. Is that what he was going for? I don't think your boyfriend likes you. You just whipped out a smooth 50 crone. I don't know what that what the what that currency is, but you just whipped out 50 of them from your booby and he was disgusted to touch him. Listen, all I'm saying if when my fiance whips out money from her boobs, I'm eating it like salad. >> Money for my salad. >> Thank you. >> You're welcome. >> Thank you. >> Oh, that's nasty. That's nasty. Oh, that's nasty. That's nasty. And this is the epitome of their content. I had to give them an extra couple of videos cuz this was kind of crazy. The whole deep voice thing. >> Nah, let's not. Come on now. It's 2026. >> We don't do the deep voice thing around here. Correct. >> Secondly, the whole head padding thing. I honestly do find it weird honestly on both side. This is some Chainsaw Man fandom [ __ ] You know, it's one thing to be like, "Oh, I got a golden retriever boyfriend. Clearly she has a husky boyfriend. I got a husky boyfriend. He won't stop yelling. He just won't shut up. But does every action that happens between these two deserve some sort of weird some sort of weird reaction that happened back. She opened the door for him. He's like, >> "So cute." >> Asking my boyfriend to unfollow every girl to see his reaction. This is dang near their video now. >> Dennis, >> can you unfollow every girl on Instagram? >> Okay. >> Bye. Bye. By by. That's my mom. I'm not going to unfollow her. >> Okay, that's understandable. What if he was uh what if he was from the south? What if he was from the furthest pits of Alabama? That's my mom. I'm not going to unfollow her. She's like, "Understandable." He's like, "Little does she know." POV, you upset your American boyfriend. >> Maybe it's my fault, but you make me angry. Okay. So, you have to apologize. Huh? All >> right. I think it's finally time to give them their rating after this specific reel. I don't know what it is with everybody comparing American men to whatever men, but from what I'm seeing, they're both abusive. POV, you upset your American boyfriend. POV, you upset your German boyfriend. Suki Blat, you know what? Yeah. Know I take back my statement. It's not just cringe. It's giving off a little bit of PikM couple energy. You know what? I want to give him a 10 out of 10. Number one overall draft. They're for sure on my team for the for the pick me basketball game. Now that I thought about it, we're all Pikmi. Everybody wants to be chosen. whether it's the chosen one or just chosen to play basketball. Maybe I was wrong about these guys. Anyways, our next content creator, so we got Boby Bratz. She only has 400,000 followers, still more than me. So, let's let's change that on both platforms. Thank you. Yeah, this video is not going to keep going until you follow. Yep. And you're walking away. Should have known. Bobby makes a different style of couples content that's fused with a genre of content in general that I just do not like, and that is the boy versus man type of content. Now, both sides can make this, both men and women. There's a guy that brags about '90s football versus today's football, which doesn't make any sense. Both eras have CTE. It's just odd to me cuz there's so many ways you can create content or just be creative. But going through life just to end up being a patriarchal gendered products content creator. It's interesting on how you get there. You know, again, no hate to the creator. It's just one of those things where it's like, "Oh yeah, boy. He eat cookie, man. He eat chocolate chip cookie and he wipe his mouth after." Listen, man. Can I just eat the cookie? How about that? See, I had to take my clothes off for this one. See, my pants are still Oh, wait. So, let's see if Bobi Brats can compete with I forgot the other name. What? Ryuga. >> No, >> Ryuga. That was his name for sure. We're going to watch this two times, solely for boy and for man, and see the difference. So, she's doing her makeup and the boy is rushing her cuz she's doing her makeup. The man is doing her hair while she does her makeup and kissing her and doing her hair. So, the man doesn't care that they made an appointment at 7 because I'm pretty sure in him helping her do her hair while she does the makeup, it's going to take a lot longer because I'm pretty sure he isn't fully drying her hair. He just keeps kissing her. At least the man loves his boyfriend, loves his girlfriend in this one. And then the boy, he's like telling her to hurry up cuz we're going to be late because it's it's going to be 700 p.m. No, no, no. That's the man's perspective. But I think anyone would be annoyed at being rushed in anything. You got all the time in the world. Not me. I got to beat the Zelda game. I'm pretty sure that even my own fiance would be irritated that I'm trying to do her hair while she's doing her makeup. She's going to come out looking like not even Heath Ledger's Joker. She's going to come out looking like that guy's Joker from the the the Suicide Squad, you know? I can't even think of his name right now. That's how bad of a Joker he is. All right, here's the next man versus boy. There's like a time with this one. Does that mean I was kind of right about the last one, but she removed the time to make it seem like she was in the right? She's like the Scarlet Witch and she's manipulating reality. So, the man at 8:00 p.m. is arguing with the girl, walking out. Um, still flicking her off apparently, but he got flowers this time at 8:01 p.m. The boy also argues with his girlfriend, flicks her off, but then doesn't come back and she calls him at 3:00 a.m. You're forgetting the third option, like the real man who is good at problem solving, right? And listening, so that way he doesn't have to walk out in the first place. You didn't even think about that. You should worry about the man instantly just coming back bringing you flowers, too. I mean, think about it. He didn't get any chance to let it out. He was mad at you at 8 and then he's not mad at you at a minute later. That's a murderer right there, if I know one. Also, I don't think a man would flip off his girl like that. Toxic relationship. All right, next. Tik Tok. Surprising my boyfriend. So everything that she was just making content about prior to is has been evaporated by this one video. Oh, wait. You know what? I think I know what the issue is. See, it says surprising my boyfriend and not my man friend. If it was her man friend, it would have been a sentient bouquet. a sentient bouquet that can walk and he would have been holding and he would have brought the bouquet in and then they all would have had a manager because that's what a real man does. But since this is the boyfriend, he's actually cheating on her and bringing her back to the house. So yeah, that's that's what uh that's what a boy does. She just forgot to put the man version in there. That makes sense. All right, I want to rate Bob a potent a severe like a potent toxic seven out of 10. It could be worse. It could for sure be worse cuz all this is is just stereotype content. I can promise you she's not the worst of it. So, we're not going to give that. We're not going to give her a 10 like we gave the last guys 10. I will say unironically her content is for sure at least cringier. And now on to our last couple. So, this is Jennifer Harrison. I know what you guys are thinking. Facebook, but she makes content on both and she has different videos on different platforms. So, I just picked one from each that that kind of piqued my interest. Jennifer has 4.6 6 million followers. She has so much more followers than Ryuga. So that means I can make fun of her three times as more than I could Ryuga. POV, your husband finds out you can take out the trash. >> Hello. The things that you've lied about. >> He's so upset. He is so betrayed that his wife can take out the trash. Darn. I don't even know who this speaks to. I don't even know who this content is for. How is this funny? Looks like a lost puppet. Why don't the ladies like taking out the trash? They make content for people who enjoy the I hate my partner with all of my being type of joke. I don't think that joke has ever been funny to me. You know what's a funnier archetype? The I hate my partner's parents joke because that one seems to always have a funnier banter because it's not based off of living with them or etc etc. It's just oh they don't like me for these reasons and I'm just kind of fighting back because they don't like me for these reasons so I kind of get to give them some gaff. But with this content, it's like, guys, when you find out your wife can take out the trash. No. >> Isn't that crazy, guys? Like, this [ __ ] honestly, I think I'm too I'm too young to understand this one. Is he grateful that she can take out the trash? Well, clear. Obviously not. Is he going to go to his local council meeting? They're taking our jobs. No, no, no, not them. My wife, she's taking my jobs. Look, I may hate my wife, but it's [ __ ] Ice. Okay, you heard it from me. And while you excuse me, I'm going to go get mad at my wife cuz I found out that she could build a house. WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME? >> WHO'S STRONGER in a relationship? >> Michael, who do you think is stronger in a relationship? A man or a woman? >> A woman. >> Okay, tell me why. >> Well, it takes six men to carry a man to his grave and only one woman to put him there. >> No, Michael, you can't say that. That's sexist. Who told you to SAY THAT? YOU YOU CAN'T say that on this totally not scripted video. Why would you say that? Guys, get it. It subverted the expectations. You thought he was going to uphold uh his wife and with her being a woman and saying that she's stronger in a relationship, but then he like resubverted it because nobody makes a man's hair turn gray faster than his own partner. Right. Hands up, all my angry Americans. >> I got a raise. >> You got a raise? >> Yeah. Well, that's amazing. Congratulations. I'm proud. >> Thanks. >> Wait, you don't have a job. >> I know. I got a raise on the credit card so I can spend MORE MONEY. >> NO, WAIT, WAIT, NO. Give me that. >> So, it looks like her husband is some kind of boom mic arm guy. That's how they make their money. I was going to ask I wonder what their comeup looked like cuz I find it interesting with these type of content creators. It's like people who have already they already got a house. They're for sure millennials because the post I'm about to show you kind of confirms that they're millennials. But, you know, I always kind of find it weird watching any person like rich people try to make relatable content. You know, I just find it odd. What do you know about our struggles? You low-key got to be kind of privileged to joke about raising your credit cat because credit right now is kind of butt. 99% of the people using credit, me included, and I still got my pants on. My fault, guys. I didn't mean to be that woke friend. Millennials trying to control their dance face. >> Don't do it. >> Don't do it. Don't do it. doing. >> Yeah, the millennial face. Millennials make this face. Only millennials when they when they're trying to control when they when they dance, soon as they start dancing, they look like Dashy. So, what have we learned today, my fellow Valentine's Day observers? What have we learned today? That couple's content has two archetypes. I don't know how I feel about being this predictable, or I hate my wife. I want to give them a eight. Yeah, they're kind of the most unbearable out out of everybody. I just can't stand the I hate my wife. I hate my husband. Snap my cup of tea. You know, it's not my cup of Joe. You know, I'm not in love with my sister. You know, I don't drink folders coffee. I still don't have a name for you guys. So, just imagine that I do. And I will see you guys next time.

This video is about Pick Me Cringe Couples Hopefully I'm able to see you guys again next week id love to have a consistent weekly posting schedule Follow me EVERYWHERE Games n stuff -https://www.youtube.com/@JawshwaXP Games n Stuff But Live - https://www.twitch.tv/joshityjosh Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jawsshuwa/ and follow me on good ending twitter https://bsky.app/profile/theonlyjoshua.bsky.social like share with ya friends Subscribe here and stuff thx for watching this description box is messy right now ill fix it on the same day i give our community an awesome name surely that wont take that long