how to SPEAK so people LISTEN - WIN people over with your ideas

There's a reason why some people walk into a room and everyone stops to listen to them while others can't even finish a sentence without getting interrupted. And it has almost nothing to do with the words that they're saying. Researchers at UCLA found that successful politicians share specific vocal qualities that influence how their audience respond to them completely independent on their words or ideas. This means you can say the exact same words as someone who's more magnetic and get completely ignored. The human voice is one of the most powerful sounds in the world. So imagine what you can do when you master it. If you've ever felt invisible in conversations, get talked over in meetings all the time, or like your ideas don't even land even when they're good, I'm about to change that for you. If you're new here, hello angels. My name is May. I am so close to hitting 500,000 subscribers, by the way, which is so crazy because I only started uploading YouTube videos about less than 2 years ago. So, yay. Let's keep growing together. And thank you all for your support as well. I feel like today my outfit is giving Gothic Socrates, which is kind of cool. You can't really see the full dress, but you get the idea. I just got back from Tulum. It was so magical. So, if you want to see some of that magic, you can follow my Instagram at May Alice Suzuki, same name. Anyways, Gothic Socrates. My community is called Stoic Angels and we support each other in our growth here. My channel and Greek Island summer 2026 trip is happening. That's where stoicism is born, by the way. And the last few people to sign up before I close the early applications this month can get early bird pricing on my website. So my last video on speech articulation just hit over a million views. And this one goes even deeper than that. So if you want to become the person who people pay attention to naturally, you may subscribe to my channel because we talk about transformation as physical, mental, spiritual, and I upload videos every week. I also made a free guide just for this video for your notes and for you to practice. So you can download it in the description as well. So when you're articulate in conversations, what that means is you're able to express yourself better. You stay more present in conversations. People are more convinced by you and your words hold more power. So you stay control more easily instead of feeling overwhelmed and struggling to get your point across. You don't need to know any big words to do this. The smartest communicators are able to use simple and effective language to get their point across. So everyone knows exactly what they're talking about. So I need to tell you guys about this app because it's genius. I spent months reading books and research papers on communication psychology, vocal studies, charisma research, and placing videos like these together and I'm still learning because there's so much information out there, which at times can be super draining if I don't know where to start. So, I like to use an app like Be Free to point me in the right directions. This app can change how you learn. Be free creates personalized learning plans based on your actual goals. So instead of randomly consuming content and hoping something will stick, you're actually building towards something specific. So for example, I'm going to type in how to be magnetic and improve communication skills. And now it's generating a completely tailored learning path pulling from books, expert talks, research papers, all of it fetch checked and sourced. So what made me obsess with this? You can customize it according to the length and depth that you're looking for. Like for example, a 10-minute overview while you're putting on your makeup or 20 minutes for your commute, 40 minutes for a deep dive. You also get to customize the narration voice. They have over 10 voices and a couple of them is like Scarlett Johansson from the movie Her, which is kind of slay. It's really easy to sign up. They pair you up with content based on what you're interested in, what your goals are, as well as the style of narration that you're looking for. So, here's my challenge. Swap 10 minutes of scrolling for 10 minutes of actually learning something that makes you better. Looking at it like a 1% improvement every day doesn't seem like much right now, but over a year it completely transforms who you are. So you can download this app at the link in my bio. So this is part one out of four, which is called the seven deadly sins. So Julian Treasure gave a TED talk called How to Speak So People Want to Listen that now has over a 100red million views. 100 million. And there's a reason it went that viral. He identified seven habits that make people tune you out instantly. And I'm guessing maybe you do at least three of them without even realizing it. And I'm going to write it out for you. Gossip. The second you start gossiping about people, they're going to think eventually you're going to talk about me, too. And what will you say about me when I'm not around? Which then brings to mind negativity. This one is huge. Constant negativity is very exhausting energetically and people subconsciously will avoid that because it drains them. Which then brings me to complaining. Complaining means you're a victim and you're not someone who takes responsibility for your actions or creates solutions. So people lose a lot of respect for that. Excuses. When you make a bunch of excuses, it's like you have no control or agency over your life and people stop trusting you. Exaggeration. If you're constantly being dramatic about something, then what else are you being dramatic about? Judgmental, which is not the same as being opinionated, by the way, which is also a combination of a couple of these things. And it shows people that one, you might not be able to take nuances very well. And then two, you may not be doing your due diligence on something before you jump to a conclusion. And then three, what are you going to talk about me when I'm gone? And then lastly, dogmatic. This means you're often times very much rigid and close-minded and only your way is the highway. And it just shows like I'm not interested in dialogue. I just want to be right all the time. So what people don't understand about these seven deadly sins is that they're not just annoying but also nervous system red flags. People don't feel safe around you. They will think this person gossip so I'm not going to listen to them. Their body will just read your aura and say not safe. they're basically going to think that you're not trustworthy and then they tune out. And then the other mistake that's killing your communication skills is that you buried your point. So you first start with the context and what you're saying would be like, oh, I was first thinking about it and yesterday I realized that maybe we should consider probably by the time you get to your actual point, people would have mentally checked out. And this is called the pyramid principle. I'm running out of space, but that's okay. pyramid principle [laughter] and this comes from McKenzie Consulting. Lead with your conclusion first and then explain why. So when you start the answer first and then you build from there, you dramatically increase retention. People actually will remember what you said and you seem more confident, more certain, more worth listening to. So points first and then context. Now, part two is your vocal toolbox. So, think of your voice like an instrument, and most people never learn to properly play it. There was a research done analyzing presidential elections from 1960 to 2000, and they found that candidates of lower voices won the popular vote in most cases. And the study of 51 presidential elections worldwide confirmed the same thing. Winners had lower pitch voices with less pitch variability than losers. So you don't need to force your voice up and down and sound fake. All you have to do is to speak from your chest instead of your throat or your nose. So you don't sound like this. When you're anxious, your voice goes up and it gets thin. So if you're aware of it, then you can start to change it. And then there's pace and pausing as well. So Stanford research found that even just a 10% increase in vocal variety can have a significant impact on your audience attention and retention of your message. And confident people learn to pause. They don't rush to fill up the silence. They instead trust the space. So pausing before an important point can make people really lean in. And if you pause afterwards, then it actually lands instead of getting buried under your next sentence. I know I talk fast and I don't pause very often because my ADHD brain runs at like 1,000 miles an hour and I'm working on becoming more deliberate with my pacing and pausing so they can really absorb what I'm sharing. But often times I just get very excited. Most people speak too fast because subconsciously they feel like they need to get their words out before someone else jumps in to interrupt them. Even though I don't have anything interrupting me right now, it's quite literally just me and my brain going at it in a dialogue. So slow down to the point where it feels almost uncomfortable and that discomfort is you breaking the pattern. And then there's procity, the music of your voice. So what does procity mean? The rise and fall and the melody of what your voice sounds like. Monotone speakers are exhausting to listen to and they sound like that because your brain has to work harder to decipher what they're saying. Whereas charismatic speakers use a wider pitch range. So Steve Jobs was studied extensively for this. His voice was stretched to extremes during key notes, high peaks, low valleys. That vocal range created emotional peaks that kept people locked in. And you have filler words like um uh um like you know that aren't just annoying, they also signal that you're not sure about something. Research was done on confidence perception that found eliminating filler words significantly increases how competent and trustworthy somebody sounded and how people would perceive you. So instead of filling up the silence with fillers, try and replace it with more silence. Choosing to pause and be quiet instead of saying um suddenly you're going to sound more thoughtful instead of not sure. And you sound like you're choosing your words deliberately instead of scrambling for them. And then there's part three, which is the deeper layer. Vocal techniques matter. And what nobody talks about and actually makes a big difference between someone who sounds very rehearsed versus someone who's genuinely magnetic is that you can't fake your presence. Truly charismatic people made others feel like they're the only person in the room. And this really isn't a technique or anything, but rather something that requires you to be genuinely present and giving your full attention to someone. So, if you're thinking about how you sound while you're talking, and when you're listening to someone, you're thinking about the next things to say, you're not actually present with the person in front of you. And they can feel that their nervous system can register and pick up on it immediately. Literally, their nervous system is going to think, "This person's not being real with me. I don't feel a connection with this person." And here's the paradox as well. The more you focus on being heard, the less people actually are going to hear you. However, the fix to this is truly just to focus on genuinely seeing and being curious about the other person and then the more magnetic you're going to look. Confidence is knowing your information. Studies have found that speaker confidence is very much relevant to what people are talking about. So, confident vocal delivery dramatically improves how people perceive your message. So, if you think about this, low pitch, moderate pace, no filler words, strategic pauses, all of these say, "I know what I'm talking about, but I'm also not afraid of silence. I trust that you're not going to interrupt me because I know that what I'm saying is worth hearing." So, your voice is constantly communicating this information about your internal state in the way that you feel. If you feel uncertain, then you're going to sound uncertain. But if deep down you feel like you don't even deserve to be heard, then that belief also shows up in every single vocal pattern that you have. And so this is why inner work really matters a lot and it permeates through your entire life. That means you can learn every single technique in this video. But if you feel uncertain about yourself and your nervous system believes that you're not even worth listening to, then that belief will undermine everything else. So there's this thing called the prep framework and you structure it like this. So when you need to communicate something that's important, you say point, reason, example, point. That means you state your point clearly. You explain why it matters. Give it a good concrete example as to why it matters. And then you reiterate your point. This is not only good communication, but also respect for your listener's attention and their cognitive load. If you're making it easy for them to understand and follow what you're saying, then it's not like they're going to remember everything that you say anyway, but at least you're giving them that structure and they remember that. So give them some structure. And then finally, there's part four. Practice. There are three things that you have to do this week, not next month, but this week. Record yourself. Most people have never actually heard what they sound like in real conversations. So record a voice memo of yourself explaining something. It doesn't even have to be formal. Just talk and then listen back without judgment and just notice your pace, your fellow words. And if you sound uncertain or not or if you're breathing or if your breath is shallow during conversation, awareness is always the first step and the key to change. But if you're afraid of your voice for some reason, trust me, it took me a while to get used to talking on YouTube on my camera. So eventually you're going to be able to get over it. And the more you do it, the more it helps. Trust me. And then two, practice the pause. So next conversation that you have, deliberately pause before you respond. Even just 2 seconds. It might feel uncomfortable at first and you know you might want to fill out space immediately or the other person might even be like may hello. But notice what happens and notice how it changes your energy a little bit. And you can control the pace of conversations by the way. You can even lead that conversation and then just notice how the other person might respond to you differently. Again, confident people, they trust the space. they trust that what they're about to say is worth the wait. And then three, warm up your voice. I'm running out of space. Woohoo. Okay. So, before any kind of important conversation, presentation, or a meeting, take deep breaths to relax your throat because the tension there is what makes your voice thin. So, you do lip drills to loosen the muscles around your mouth like and then hum to warm up your vocal resonance. Hm. Hm. I clearly need to do more, but usually I warm up my voice before filming every single video. I take a few minutes to do this. I never not do this. And your voice will sound clearer, warmer, and more grounded. As a result, people won't even consciously notice why you sound better, but they'll feel it. And you don't even need to be louder. You don't need to try and force yourself to dominate conversation or talk over people or be aggressive about it. But you do need to curate your presence which is an identity shift in itself and not just some random tips and tricks and all these things are part of that. Trust me, your voice is communicating who you believe you are every single time that you're speaking and you're worth listening to. That belief is going to shape your tone, your pace, your pauses, your entire presence. So work on all of these techniques in this video, but also work on the belief underneath them, too. Because you can have all of the perfect things, like perfect vocal delivery, for example. You may say all of the right things, but if you don't fundamentally believe in yourself, then you're still not going to be heard. So, if you haven't already, grab the free guide in the description. It breaks down everything that we covered with specific exercises that you can practice and actually use it, consume less, and apply more. Thank you all so much for watching. Subscribe if you haven't already and I will see you in the next video.

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