Are The Swifties Mentally Okay?

No one's home. [music] >> Oh, hell no. Somebody else. >> [bell] >> I didn't order any human interaction today. >> Hi. Have you heard that our Lord and Savior has a new album? Jesus has a new album? I didn't know Jesus was into that sort of thing. >> No. Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl. Um, I'm sorry. I don't have any earphones. >> What the [ __ ] is going on? >> I mean, it's all right. It's a little unseasoned. I wouldn't get them. >> Bigger. I can make deals [music] with the devil because my digs bigger. Did they follow me? Did the Swifties follow me? Oh, thank God. We've talked about cults in the past on this channel, like the Scientology cult. And obviously, you've read the title. So, today we're going to be talking about the Taylor Swift cult, or as I like to call it, the Taylorism cult. Now, let me ask you a question. Do you know who the most streamed artist of 2025 was? Uh-huh. Exactly. T Bad Bunny. [laughter] You thought I was going to say Taylor Swift. Like, I really baited you guys into thinking, "Oh, nope. It was Bad Bunny." But you know who was underneath Bad Bunny? Taylor Swift. And the year before that, Taylor Swift. And the year year before that, the Bad Bunny again. And then Bad Bunny. What the Bad Bunny and Taylor Swift are fighting. You get the point. The most streamed artist. Maybe not this year, but the year before that. And listen, I got nothing bad to say about Taylor Swift cuz that girl is hardworking as hell. [music] Now, when it comes to her fans though, I don't know. I watched one of her fans videos a couple years ago. I believe that [ __ ] was just the cringe was unbearable. I'm sorry. New merch alert. New [singing] merch alert, people. The Happy Depressed hoodie is finally here. Half black, half white, and the details on this, including inside out, are so good. The Stormy Tea, both 100% cotton, by the way. The BBL Santa, the stocking, and the blanket. They're all on sale. Lazy store. Sydney night three. My reaction to Taylor singing Exile. Honestly, I don't even think I've ever heard that song. Also known as the song that Wow, it saved her life. [screaming] This [ __ ] always gets me. [laughter] [gasps] Even her best friend was smiling. Look at her. Look at her. She's like, [snorts] But the other friend though, she's like, "No, Taylor, no. Taylor, don't play this song right now. Taylor, no." Okay, I don't care how deep this was. This was very embarrassing. I'm sorry. Cuz the other girl, she was like I don't know if she was telling her other friend like she was like, "Don't laugh. Don't laugh. This is very emotional. Don't laugh." She was like, >> or was she actually saying that to Taylor Swift? Like, Taylor, no. Taylor, don't play this song right now. Taylor, do not play this song, girly. I told her not to play exile today cuz Britney is here. Exile. Exile. This is like my life. There you are, Taylor. Britney is here. You should not be saying that. Taylor, >> I'll do this [ __ ] myself. >> Britney is here. You can't be saying that today. >> I would have laughed so hard. I know. They had a discussion about her later. Babe, you can probably go to Kohl's and hear this song. Imagine her going to close like she hears a song and she has a mental breakdown right there. Come on. It's not that deep. This is the movie theater. Oh my god. What if I was just trying to watch? Hey, low key though, this is not bad. They're just having fun. Although this is kind of giving the Minecraft movie vibes where people were going crazy. This is not violent though. They're just having fun. dancing. But what if someone just wants to watch the show Taylor movies, Taylor movies, Taylor Swift's movie? Like they just just there trying to enjoy it and everyone's like dancing and what if they don't want to see happiness? Cuz that's me. I don't want to see happiness like you know happy depressed. I've had enough. Oh, lowkey though. Time to plug my merch. The happy depressed hoodie. Cuz who wants to be happy or depressed all the time? And you can be happy [music] and depressed. But these videos of people dancing at the movie theaters while they were trying to watch Taylor Swift movie, the era tour movie. She decided that she wanted to make a movie out of that. I don't know why. And the people that worked at movie theaters were started posting these videos where they're like, "This is what you guys look like on cameras." That kind of looks a little wild, right? Like a like a cult. That literally looks like a cult. Like they're trying to chant a spell or something. So for all the people saying that it's not a cult, if no cult, why cold shaped? Does anyone know that meme? No. And she actually got engaged a few months ago, I believe. So like, hey, Taylor, if you're watching this video, congrats. I'm not like them, by the way. Like I'm a I'm not a crazy person. Do you want to come to my YouTube channel, Taylor? Let's collab. And I think her Instagram post became like the seventh or eighth most liked Instagram picture. So that's insane. So you know that was going to affect the Swifties. Like when Taylor Swift announced that she was getting engaged, people got so emotional. You'd think that a family member of theirs just died or some [ __ ] like the Taylor Swift engagement. Super shocking at first, but now that I'm like actually processing that the artist that I've known for the longest in my life just sat there for a moment and I was like, "Holy [ __ ] shit." Like, she's engaged. Like, go girl, be happy. [laughter] >> She got so emotionally annoyed to this girl, by the way, cuz you know when you're attached to someone, which is a parocial relationship, I get it. You know, I don't really want to sound so harsh cuz she was just crazy happy that Taylor got engaged. I wish I was as half as happy as she was when it comes to my life. Like, why can I not be that happy when it comes to my life, you know? But she was that happy for Taylor [ __ ] Swift. Yeah, girl. You be happy. Go ahead and be happy without us. I'm not envy or like jealous or anything like that. Yeah, you be happy, Taylor. We're going to be here like sitting in the corner being sad. You know what, Taylor? [ __ ] you. I mean, Taylor is like the most popular singer right now, so I do expect some fans to be a little on the cuckoo side. Cuckoo side, a little on the wild side. Cuckoo. [laughter] And I know she has like a lot of haters and some people describe her music as unseasoned chicken, which like I see some of that. I understand why some people call it unseasoned chicken, but the fate of Ailia though, that [ __ ] was seasoned well. >> That's Oh. Oh, the best friend. Oh, the best friend. Oh, the best friend. >> Wait, is that dandruff? Oh, no. I thought that was dandruff for a second. I'm like both of the girls. No, that's just like I don't know, sprinkled glitter or something. Did anyone see the best friend? The poor girl took all the hit heads over here like [screaming] Yes. Jessica. Jessica, are you okay? >> What did Look at her best friend. Like she kind of like she kind of like, "Oh, girl, what are you doing to your best friend?" She's like, "God, is that you? Am I seeing you? [laughter] What the [ __ ] did the best friend do?" Wait, it happens again. Oh, she's choking the best friend now. [screaming] What is happening? Are these girls okay? Oh my god. Damn. Imagine if Taylor Swift touched them. Imagine if she's like literally just touched them a little bit. They would have a heart attack. >> They're acting like this is Michael Jackson or something. >> Taylor could actually just fart and these people would lose their minds. >> Thank you, buddy. Thank you. [cheering] You want another one? Here, have another one. [screaming] >> And I think one of the worst scenarios that I've actually seen was from Canada. So, a Canadian posted a TikTok, I believe a few months ago, and I think this happened right before or right after Taylor announced her engagement and a Tik Tocker from Canada posted a video that she illegally changed her name to Taylor Swift. Canadians. I thought you guys were a little better. Like, hey, Canadians. E house. Wait, how do they say that? Cana Can Canadians? E house. You guys say host. Canadians do not come to my [ __ ] comment section and say that we don't say host. You say host. You literally say, "Wait, is that Australian?" House. No, you guys say house. What's that other word? Um, about. You know how Canadians say instead of about, they say about? I love when they say that. About. Love you, Canada though. Hey, >> I legally changed my name to Caroline Melissa Taylor because of Taylor Swift. If you don't like that, go touch grass. >> Touch grass? Okay. What's so hard about that? Guys, guys, where's the grass? Guys, where's the Is this why she told me to touch grass? Did she somehow know that it was going to snow today and that's why she told me to touch grass? Wait, what's going on, Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good. While we here though, this is a lot more fun than the grass. I miss this. Wait, hold on. Let me do a cool one. Why did she tell people to touch grass after she told everyone that she changed her name to Taylor Swift? Aren't you the one who should be touching grass? because it seems like you're chronically online and you're obsessed with Taylor. Even though technically she kind of is touching grass right now with her feet, but I don't know. The comment was a little weird. You should touch grass because I changed my name to Taylor Swift. You should touch grass because I like ass. You should touch grass because I like ass. You should touch grass cuz I be eating ass. You should touch grass cuz I be eating ass. >> Also, if anyone can let Taylor know, cuz I still don't know whether or not she knows I did this. >> Oh, my bad girl. Well, I for I totally forgot. Hold up. Hi. Can I place an order to go? >> Who the [ __ ] is this? >> Yeah. Two quesadillas with extra cheese and a bean burrito with Okay, I just finished ordering my dinner. What were we doing? Oh, I I forgot to call Taylor Swift. >> It's been too long. Yeah. So, I've been baking and so I brought Greg. >> I don't [ __ ] if you're busy. I'm busy as well. I'm recording a video right now, but I'm taking the time out of my day to do you a favor. Yeah. Shut up. So, there's this girl on like absolutely wildo. She's Canadian day. Yeah. And uh she wants you to know that she changed her name to Taylor Swift. Taylor. Hello. Or she hung up. That last comment was actually wilder than her changing her name to Taylor Swift. I mean, hey, she's an obsessed fan. Taylor Swift, who cares? Whatever. But then to throw at the end, uh, does Taylor Swift know about this? Like, oh my god, my [ __ ] eye. Girl, Taylor Swift is probably chilling in her mansion in a jacuzzi or something, having 50 people massaging her and doing her bunch of services. You think Taylor Swift is going to care because a random girl in Canada changed her name to Taylor Swift? >> Last year, I legally changed my name to Caroline. Oh, that was last year >> because I love Taylor Swift. >> Girl, I'm pretty sure we knew that. >> I don't think there could have been any other explanation for you changing your name to Taylor. >> And I am sick and tired of people berating Swifties for them being happy about this engagement. >> No one is mad at Swifties for Taylor's Swift engagement. [music] Now we're just making [ __ ] up. We are literally just making [ __ ] up. Or maybe she's talking about the girl who started crying on TikTok because Taylor got engaged and people are leaving comments on her videos. If that's the reason, yeah, I get it. But no one's actually talking [ __ ] about Swifties. Unless you guys post something stupid. You were asking for it. If people are actually berating Taylor Swift for getting engaged, then you are probably worse than the crazy Taylor Swift fans. But then to change your name to Taylor because you're obsessed with Taylor. I might as well change my name to Crumble because I'm obsessed with Crumble. But I don't have a middle name. She changed her middle name. Technically, I don't have a middle name cuz I'm European. So my middle name is already empty. So what if my middle name is changed to Crumble? That's lowkey a great idea. me when Taylor started singing Math B. It's literally on the said list and I've never been to the Aerys tour. I have no idea what that even means. You might as well speak Greek to me cuz this sounds like a whole different language. [screaming] >> Girl, she didn't even say a word. She didn't even say a single word for her to be like [screaming] >> I didn't say a [screaming] girl. I haven't even said a word yet. [screaming] >> You know what? Oh, and let me top it off with a >> But what if I just bought a Taylor Swift ticket and I wanted to go to see Taylor Swift for the first time? Like I'm literally behind this girl and I'm waiting for Taylor to sing and then Taylor says not even two letters and this girl turns around and she starts yelling at me like what do I do? Do I like comfort her a little bit there? Like do I touch her? Like do I keep my distance? Do I try to pay attention to Taylor? I don't know how to react. [screaming] I'd punch someone if they ever scream like this next to me at a concert. Oh, so you That's the Okay, thank you. Answered my question. So, I punched them. Okay. >> What are those in your >> brain rock? >> Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift albums. >> Why do you need those? You could just listen to it on YouTube. You need an actual like record player for these. >> Do you know what a record >> player is inside of this? >> You don't know what a record player is, do you? >> Of course she does. She's a child. They're actually inside of this. >> Oh my. >> Okay, that's a little girl. I feel so bad for this. She's such a fan. Come on. I'm going to confess here. I didn't know like I knew what a record player was, but when I first saw when I moved here and when I first saw this cuz you don't see this [ __ ] in Europe, maybe where I'm from, you don't see this, but I've never seen the the big discs, whatever those are. I've never seen them before. So when I moved there and I saw people buying these, I thought they kind of like squeezed the record player in there or like maybe a different kind of a CD a flat CD player cuz I don't even know is that a van van venyl vanil is that what it is? I don't know how that thing works. So I fully believe that that came with the music player. So, I'm on this girl's side because why are they selling these old vanilla thingies when those players don't even exist? Do they even exist? Who the [ __ ] is buying those? You must be a grandpa to buy those. Or a crazy Taylor Swift fan who wants to listen to her song on a vanilla player. Anti-hero starts playing at brunch unexpectedly and you all have a meltdown. Are you okay? >> Taylor, you'll be fine. >> Bro, you're a [ __ ] adult. Come on. These are the worst kind of people. This is why I hate people. And I imagine that was me on the next booth. I go out for the first time in months and I'm trying to have a nice lunch there. And then as I'm having my lunch, I hear this random girl yell, "Taylor, you'll be fine." right next to my ear. This is why I hate people. This is why I hate going out in public and the public being there. This is why I hate overpopulation because they they they consume my life. They take so much of my life. Traffic, doctors, like everything that you can possibly think of, it's it's because of overpopulation. Y'all are ruining my life. You don't get it. Like the traffic alone is wasting so many years of my life because so many people exist. If half of the people Thanos, we need you. Thanos, [music] where the call me the villain, but we need Thanos. And I remember that one girl, that one Pikmi main character, Taylor Swift, that we watched a couple years ago where she had to pull over because she just heard Taylor Swift on the radio. The drooling Why are we drooling? Oh, you got some a little bit of a Oh, here. You can use this more than me. When I first saw this, I thought she was like joking, like being sarcastic. And she captioned, "I pulled over this time." So, the other times I'm guessing she had an emotional breakdown and she almost caused an accident. So, her best bet is to turn off that radio cuz Taylor Swift is on the radio like nine out of 10 times. Turn that [ __ ] off or you're going to cause an accident. >> Brother, brother. >> And she actually made a video replying to people about this video that she posted. And she said, "If Taylor Swift wanted me to delete this, I would delete it if she paid me." Why the [ __ ] would Taylor pay you to delete this video? Why on earth would push you do that? Girl, you delete this. If you saw Taylor taking a [ __ ] you would literally peep through through the toilet, the stalls, the public stalls. You know how they have like a huge gap for some reason here in the US? You would see Taylor Swift taking a [ __ ] and you'd be like, I'll delete it right now. Taylor Swift would have to pay you. Also, that was so unrealistic. Taylor Swift in a public Taylor Swift fan conceals identity after calling in say anonymous who called in sick to work. They traveled here from Louisville. So they've gotten quite a drive here. They've been here since about 2:45 in the morning. So can you tell me what Taylor Swift means to you? She must mean a lot to you because you're here and you've called in sick. >> That is very true. I almost named my daughter's middle name Taylor. Oh. >> Oh my goodness. >> What the [ __ ] are the odds of that? Someone already did that for themselves. And this is a video from 2023. Maybe. Oh, what if that's a Canadian woman? What is What if that's a Canadian woman? She never had a kid. So, she said, "You know what? Fine. I'll do it myself." That's actually Thanos. He said that. >> I'm taking an 11-year-old little girl. It's her first time. I went to the show in Nashville, so it's more for her. >> Sweet. I love it. And we're going to cross our fingers that work doesn't find out, right? >> No, they're not. We're good. >> Your secrets save with me. >> Didn't she just give out a lot of details, though? She's like, "Oh, I'm from Nashville. Oh, I have a kid. Oh, I was here at 2:00. I went to the show in Nashville. We did this." I think we you gave out way too many details for your employer or whoever is watching this video now to be like 2 + 2 is four and and 5 + 5 is 8. Isn't that Miranda? M the voice. That's Miranda. She called in sick yesterday. I'm going to fire her ass. She's giving out too many details. The only thing left was for her to give her full name. Might as well give you her full name cuz you told her everything. And the interviewer was nosy as hell. She was like, she was asking for way too many details. Girl, she's there trying to be like in secret. She wasn't trying to reveal her identity. She was trying to pull a Hannah Montana. I sound like a weirdo most of the time. I quote so many memes and people are like, "What the [ __ ] is this weirdo talking about? He's talking about the Swifties being crazy. Has he looked at himself in the mirror?" Yes, I have. I know that I'm crazy. At least I admit it. That's why I'm starting my own cult, the Lazy Crumble cult. 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