Never Let These People Cook For You

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy You do realize it's almost Christmas, right? Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Me holding on to Thanksgiving for a few more days before Christmas hits. It's time. >> Also, my hoodie just arrived. The happy depressed hoodie. I am so happy and so proud of this. The quality. I wish you guys could feel this, right? Well, not my nipple. My the the logo here. I am so happy cuz I designed this myself. Like the details on this. Everything is half black, half white for the happy depressed family. And when I say quality, 100% cotton, by the way. And the ornament, the stocking, and the blanket are all on sale if you go to lazy.store. I'm just saying. So, don't get mad at me if you missed the sale. I cooked with this, didn't I? [music] Half depressed and half happy. That's me right there. Anyways, talking about Thanksgiving, which we weren't, but did you know that Thanksgiving is the craziest day of the year? Cuz some of you probably thought that would it was Christmas, but it's not. It's actually Thanksgiving, the busiest day of the year where a lot of accidents happen. And I'm talking about food accidents cuz some of y'all do not know how to cook a [ __ ] turkey. Thanksgiving table suddenly crashes to the ground. >> Bravo. When is it going to the way the guy just starts laughing out of nowhere? [laughter] So, uh, who's going to clean this up? Now, this is just a skill issue because if that was me standing in front of the table, do you think my spidey senses wouldn't kick in and I wouldn't save the food? Eating should be everyone's number one priority cuz when it comes to food, you thought >> I don't like marshmallows anyway. >> What the hell is that? That looks like a mole. >> Amber, please don't take pictures of anything cuz I'm already pissed off. I don't like marshmallows anyway. >> Please don't take pictures of anything cuz I'm already pissed off. >> I'm going to guess that's marshmallow. What are y'all cooking with marshmallow during Thanksgiving? I thought there was like I don't know, burnt cheese or some [ __ ] Maybe molds. But the girl in the background trying to help her mom feel a little better. Like I don't even like marshmallows anyways. So uh don't bother mom. Please don't take pictures. Amber. [laughter] Amber was like, "Mom, I'm not recording you. I promise this is just uh I'm taking pictures. I'm taking selfies. Yeah, I'm not recording your mom. I thought those were blueberries. Blueberries. Girl, these are black. >> Amber, please don't take pictures of anything cuz I'm already pissed. >> I relate to that, Mom. Cuz when you're pissed as hell and someone's recording you when you're pissed, it's the worst moment to record someone. Cuz when you're pissed as hell, even the tiniest thing will annoy you. You know how sometimes you're trying to grab something from the floor and you do this [music] and by the fourth time you know you're going to have a shitty day and you ran out of patience. Isn't that Eugene Yakuni? Why is the turkey burned? Me pretending to cook when I don't cook for sure. You you know damn well she can't cook. It's the acting for me. Like are you petting the dead turkey or are you like cooking it? Come on Eugenia. We know you did not cook that. Are you believing that Eugia cooked that? It's like asking a blind person for directions on a map or like trusting a mosquito with blood donations. Ain't no way anyone's going to believe that she cooked that. Actually, I changed my mind. I 100% believe that she cooked that cuz that turkey is burned to a crisp. Only me and her could pull that off. I think that the turkey was ready yesterday. My carbonizato. Oh, she pissed off the Italians. If the Italians join the comment section, you better watch out, Eugas. They're going to be mad. And trust me, you do not want to piss off the Italians. Maf. >> She saved Thanksgiving. >> YEAH. [laughter] >> I want you to breathe in and breathe out. >> Why is she performing CPR on a dead turkey? >> I want you to breathe in. >> Or is that a chicken? That's turkey, right? Wait, what is that? That's a turkey, right? It's thank Yeah, it's got to be a turkey. No one's cooking a [ __ ] chicken for Thanksgiving. The reason why it was so disgusted is that I have this phobia of touching raw meat. So, I have never touched raw chicken or like raw meat, whatever kind of meat. I cannot touch that [ __ ] cuz it makes my I don't know how to explain it. Like, it makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel really weird. I have this like icky thing. I can't I just can't touch it. I'm sorry. I can't ever be a cook. I'll I'll cook pasta maybe. Yeah. But touching raw meat. Please just end me. Kill me. Right. I would rather be dead right there. But because how is that not disgusting? The way that she's >> Oh, like it's it's sending it's sending shock waves through my body. The way she caught that turkey though. Give her a damn trophy. Girl, a turkey died. A [ __ ] turkey died. And imagine that was you though and they tell you in your after afterlife that no, they didn't cook you and they ate you because you were delicious. They actually played with you. They filmed a Tik Tok over your dead body. Like record that [ __ ] for Tik Tok. And they were laughing like they were pretending to give you CPR. That that like makes me feel like they used my body for views. Like at least just eat me. Eat me right there, [ __ ] Enjoy me. I'm tasty. But instead you you're you're playing with my flesh. That's nasty. My mom tried using oat milk in the chocolate pie this year and found a hidden note. Are we going to talk about the the the pie first that it looks watery? [laughter] >> Why is the pie so watery? [screaming] >> What is going on? >> No, you don't understand. [laughter] At least use a spatula or something else. But a a thin knife. Like what is a thin knife doing? >> Wait, what was the note? [laughter] What does that say? Did it say gummy pie? Oh, yummy pie. >> I can't. >> Oh, yeah. That's what I thought it it said. Yummy pie. If she made that herself using oat milk, why was there a note that said yummy pie? Did she put the the the the note in the pie or does it come with the crust because it was a pre-made crust? Someone said, "Well, pour me a piece." It's pie time. Everyone grab a straw. >> This [ __ ] looks bomb. The chocolate alone would kill me. Do you think this would disappoint me? I would be over here like, "Hand me my slice, [ __ ] cuz I came prepared." I would be over here like, >> "Suck the [ __ ] out of that chocolate." I was trying to say that I would suck the [ __ ] out of that chocolate cuz that chocolate looks good and the things that I do for hazelnut chocolate. >> Well, hazelnut is the chocolates. >> And nobody can take off to help you, mama. Precious. >> No, I do this every year. >> Oh my god, it's Josh and mama. >> Dang. >> Where is all that come from? >> Was the chicken peeing there? What was that? Or was that turkey? >> What flavor you putting on the chicken? >> Um >> Oh, it's chicken. Lemon pepper. I know you like that. >> How is it going to fit? >> What is she doing? >> There it goes. >> And how long is that got to cook? >> For a whole hour. >> Oh my god. She's actually cooking it for an hour. >> How did I do with the ham? >> What the [ __ ] is that? >> Sugar on there. >> You did good. You're learning. I I like that. >> Boiling crackers. >> You want me to stir it for you? >> No. No. >> Don't touch that. No. >> Oh my god, that looks nasty. >> I got to slice the turkey. >> The fact that you can still hear the chicken in that poor microwave. Like, let that [ __ ] out already. A chicken in the microwave. >> Did it actually like they boiled it? [gasps] >> Yeah. >> Ooh, so tasty. What is she doing with the spam? >> Apple slices on the spam. >> Oh my gosh. >> What is she using the apples for? >> You know, we about should have done two. >> Oh my god. Apples, mac and cheese. >> That's what I was just thinking. >> Well, I'm not going back to your store. >> This is screaming American. And I know this is rage bait, but do you think this is not happening at someone's house? I literally saw a woman the other day and she made a dessert out of like everything was like canned food and she didn't actually do anything but just dump a bunch of [ __ ] from can. She's like the dessert was ready and I showed that [ __ ] to my mom and she was like she's like what the [ __ ] is happening in America? [laughter] Wait, I got to do it with her accent. Wait, what the [ __ ] is happening in America? Yeah, I'm not eating at anyone's house. And actually, I don't think I've ever eaten in any American's house. I think that was one for the 4th of July to a friend and the food was good, you know, but I would not trust anyone with food. I'm sorry, guys. It just I can't eat that. >> I dropped the mac and cheese on things. Oh no. Oh, that hurts. That hurts. Just in case anyone wants to hear the sound. >> Y. >> Do you guys think that's cooked? I think that needs a little more cooking. Yeah, cuz it doesn't look like it's fully cooked. I don't want to risk eating anything raw, you know? Yeah. Put it back in for another like 30 minutes. YEAH, [laughter] the laugh. Why was the laugh funnier than the actual video? >> Wait, what is happening with y'all's turkey? >> Sack to touch the rack. [screaming] >> Oh my god. Italian Thanksgiving dessert. Since when are Italians celebrating Thanksgiving? Italians don't have Thanksgiving. No, I'm just kidding. >> Not like that. >> Why do y'all keep frying your turkeys in those whatever that is? Didn't they come up with a video a few years ago that's like the most dangerous thing to do in Thanksgiving and there's like a bunch of fires started because of that, but people didn't listen. And like I get it. Yes, a deep fried turkey is good, but I think this is like the most dangerous way to do it. Oh my god. >> First Thanksgiving week. Oopsie. Preheated the oven for dinner and forgot about the thawing odd turkey. Oh, cuz you got to thaw out the turkey. Oh, we've all been there. You know what? I'm not even going to be mad at him. The amount of times that my parents have told me to take out something from the freezer and I forgot. And what I did, life hack, I guess. I used to throw that [ __ ] in hot water, like put it on blast like lava hellfire water temperature and and thaw it as fast as possible and like dry it. So my mom comes home and she sees that it's thought out and and I'm over here like, "Yeah, I did that. Mom, I actually didn't forget this time." And uh it thought out. >> We're putting plastic into our turkey. >> Oh, ew. >> It's just squirting everywhere. >> Ooh. Oh, was that chicken on her period? What the [ __ ] happened here? That would ruin my Thanksgiving. Honestly, if I spent all day trying to make that mac and cheese or whatever that was and I dropped it at the end, I would just go to sleep. I'd be like, "Thanksgiving is canled this year, guys." Yeah, see y'all next year or maybe the year after that. Yeah, I don't feel like doing next year as well. >> Okay, so I'm going to get the turkey ready for my mom to cook. >> Nathan, >> I can't believe he's touching it. [music] Mhm. >> Yep. You got to get >> What the [ __ ] is that? Why is there a whole whole placenta inside the turkey? See, you you can tell that I don't know anything about cooking cuz Why is there a placenta inside the turkey? Like a bag of placenta. >> Get all that out. >> Why? Why is it in a bag? They're like, "Oh, we left you a present inside your turkey and it's a bag full of like its insides." Why is that in there? Do they cook that? Do they eat that? >> Boy or girl? Boy or girl? Turkey? I have no idea. >> Oh, wait. He was being I thought he was joking about the gender. >> What the [ __ ] is that? >> I think >> Nathan, what? Oh my god. Okay, we obviously cannot show that, but he starts gagging because he's touching that. It looks like Oh my god, that looks like Vecna's penis. Why do I feel like Vecna's penis would look like that, you know? And not that like I don't I've never thought about Vecna's penis before, but if she or he if Vecna had a penis, that's what I think it would look like. Like a shrimp penis. And like why is she letting him do it? He said it's a boy. This is the moment he became a vegetarian. Why would you give that to Nathan? >> Nathan, I am proud of you, dude. Cuz me personally, I wouldn't even have gone to the to Vecna's penis part. The fact that he did all that he took the the placenta out and then he was digging. That takes guts. Get it? I wonder if he would have reacted the same if it wasn't a penis and it was a girl, you know? Maybe cuz he was like expecting a girl, but the moment that he saw Also, I I know that's not a girl boy. I don't even know what that was. Was that I think that's a a throat. Is it a throat? Still proud of you, Nathan. Me personally, I wouldn't even thought if I touched it, I would react the same. I would gag. >> POV, your little sister decides to help. >> Oh, girl, you're doing too much. Too fast. >> Sorry. [laughter] >> The way she's like barely feeling it. And the whole family waiting in line like, "All right, y'all." Really? Really though, it's not like I I've been in that scenario where my mom gave me that once. I don't even That's a potato peeler. And obviously, I didn't know how to peel a potato, so she just like she snatched it out of my hands. She gave me a disgusting look. And I'm like, "Mom, what the [ __ ] were you expecting from me?" Like, I was a child and, you know, I couldn't cook for [ __ ] She gave me that fully expecting me to become a a pro at peeling a potato. I don't know how to do [ __ ] Mom. What do you mean? Look, you gave me that and you expect me to do that? Double it and give it to my sister when she felt the camera rise. [laughter and gasps] The look that she gave her at the end like, okay, this is funny. I give it to her. This is funny. [laughter] No, no, it's nice. You know what? You're doing good, sweetie. Keep it up. In a few years, you'll be able to peel a potato and I'll be there for you. I'll be the one in the audience clapping for you for your achievement. Congrats. >> You want me to help or not? Yeah, I probably said the same [ __ ] Like, do you want me to do it or do you not want me to do it? If you're better at it, then you do it. Here's the potato. Here's the peeler. You do it. Why give it to me? >> When the diabetic in the family ruins Thanksgiving and the mashed potatoes >> so nobody can enjoy the mashed potatoes. >> Is that mashed potatoes? What did she put in them? Gar gum. >> Oh my god. >> That looks like dough. Like a pizza dough. >> The dog giving it a licade. Like don't throw it away. Give it to me. Why waste? We don't waste food around the house. I need to know how someone ruins mashed potatoes. Yeah, that's like the most basic thing in the world to do. If you don't know how to uh do mashed potatoes, you take the potatoes and then you mash them. Yeah, it's probably really easy to do. I've done that before. You mash them. I'm not even going to talk about that. I kept it on low. Is that supposed to be the cheese for the mac and cheese? What are y'all doing? Now, I know I don't cook, but what are you guys doing? If you don't know how to make mac and cheese, why are you making Oh, chewing on mac and cheese. Chewing on flavored mac and cheese. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Idea. Billionaire idea moment. Have you ever seen uh chewing on mac and cheese? No, you haven't. Wait, let me Google this, [ __ ] Wait, hold on though. This is not chewing gum. This is just uh uh cheese gummies. So, not chewing gum. If you don't see me on the next video, I'm probably a billionaire, so I'm not making YouTube videos anymore. Starting Thanksgiving dinner just right. >> Hey, I just want to say to everybody real quick. >> Uh-huh. >> How'd you all feel about the election this year? >> Hey, I just want to say [gasps] >> if you're Thanksgiving is boring and y'all are just eating, you got to stir [ __ ] up because who wants to have a a boring Thanksgiving? You drop a couple of names in there like, "Oh, what do y'all think about Kamla?" Or, "Oh, what did y'all think about Donaldo Trump?" and watch the conversation be exchanged with each other like blazing fast. Thanksgiving battle royale. Post the aftermath right now. I would have loved to be there. You know, I'd be in the back with like my popcorn and watch everybody like argue and fight while I enjoy my popcorn. Let me see. What are some conversation starters during a Thanksgiving dinner? Uh, who did you vote for? What do you think about abortion? And, uh, what's next? Something like to to cherry the cake there on top. Um, what do you think about immigrants? Yeah, those should be like some really good conversation starters. >> New York City is not a real. >> Thanks, boo. >> They're having a Thanksgiving on the subway. >> Bye, cousins. >> What the [ __ ] is happening in New York? >> No. Damn. Whoever was there got their money worth out of that subway ticket. Cuz what do you mean? They're having Thanksgiving dinner on inside the subway. >> New York City is literally the only place that could pull this [ __ ] off. And I think they actually do this every year where they serve food inside the subway. And maybe I should go next year. And imagine next year is the only year that they don't do this. And I show up there like with my plate or something like ready to get the food and there's no table, no food, no nothing. And I'm just like there like a weirdo with a plate and everyone's looking at me like, "What the [ __ ] is this dude doing? Is he like delusional?" And actually that would not happen in New York because New Yorkers would not give a [ __ ] that there's a dude with a plate inside the subway. Like, do you know the weird [ __ ] that New Yorkers have seen? They would not bat an eye. I lowkey love New York for that. How did your Thanksgiving go? Was it boring? Did someone [ __ ] something up? Did you fight with your family? Cuz mine was like very boring. All I ate was some chicken shawarma. I'll put a picture somewhere here. I think I chicken shawarma, turkey, some cornbread. Uh, I think that's it. Yeah, as you can see in the picture, my meal was a little boring. That's all I ate. Anyways, I know this is a little late, but happy Thanksgiving everyone. And if you enjoyed this video, please like, subscribe, and the bell icon. And consider becoming a member to watch my videos a day early. And don't forget lazy.store store for the happy depressed hoodie. This is like the coolest thing that I've ever designed. Oh my god. Member shout out. Thank you Esther Choco had JB4 VHR Sunbask William Bird Reagan Terra Janna the Thrifty Redhead Omira Yuan Icewow Bling Bling Brian I Love Sin and Sakiit. Okay, bye. Happy 4th of July everybody. Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas. >> [music]

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