I Bought BANNED Cat Products From Temu

People usually say that I have like the most spoiled cat in the world and I don't really see it. Okay, her majesty is moisturized, exfoliated, and wrapped up like a deli sandwich. Now it's time for her to get out of her comfort bubble. >> [laughter] >> Wait, this last one is crazy. I'm going to need some help with this. Okay, this one's heavy as hell. And we have this bad boy, the most expensive item. I saw this video from this YouTuber called Muffin Juice where he bought traumatizing products for his own pet's own team when I'm like, that would be fun to do on Stormmy cuz she's very spoiled. We get it. like she's the most spoiled cat in the world and I feel like her life is a little too comfortable right now and I need to annoy her. And obviously these are not going to be traumatizing products. They're probably going to be annoying products. And I know I'm annoying. I'm not saying that I'm not an annoying person. I know I'm annoying and we're about to annoy Stormmy. For our first product, we're going to try the Traumatizer 9000. No, I'm just kidding. Wait, what is this? Pet laser collar self- teasing to Oh, so she puts this on her neck. I'm guessing two working modes. 10 minutes automatic shutdown. Oh, wait. Do I have to charge this? I don't even know what's going Do I have to? No, I can't. No. No, I can't. Oh my god, that would choke me. It works. We don't need to ch two modes. Okay. Okay, I see it. See that? Look. Can you see the laser? Can you see the laser? Like you were the pet. Oh, I just realized that I got this in pink for Stormmy. This is perfect. Okay, let's see if she's actually going to play with this. >> Come here, Stormy. Come here. >> Okay, Daddy. She's a little shy. You guys know that she doesn't like cameras. Daddy got you a new toy. Relax. It's not going to be bad. It's going to be plenty of space. She looks uncomfortable. Okay, now. Now, sweetie. Sweetie, look at this. Sweetie, look. There's a There's a laser right here. Laser. I don't think she can. She's see the laser, guys. It's too like below her eyes. She saw the laser. She saw the laser. She sees it. She's in attack mode right now. Hunting mode [music] on. Go get it. Get it, baby. Uh-huh. Daddy spent a lot of money on that. Get it. Wait, maybe it's too low. Okay, this laser doesn't work because I need to keep it up for her. Like, she can't see the laser. What is the design behind this? You know what, Stormy? Look, daddy has it now. Look. Oh, now she wants to see it when I'm the slave. Yeah. Now you want to play when daddy's a slave. She got it, guys. I think she's going for it. She's going for it. Mhm. Mhm. Make daddy proud. I wasted a lot of money on this. Make daddy proud, sweetie. She's bored. Also, new merch at Lazy Dot store for a limited time cuz look at all these cute items that we got. in the stocking. This is the cutest thing ever. You know, my big bag had to make a hungry option cuz I couldn't find one anywhere. And I'm like, why don't I make one myself, you know? So, we made the hungry one. And the quality on this. I wish you guys could [music] feel it and touch it. How nice it feels. Why do I feel like you could use this stocking as like a thing for the oven? You know how you grab hot items from the oven? You could use this stock. No, I'm just kidding. I hope you guys enjoy the new merch which is going to be available only for a limited time. Lazy dots store. Now back to the video. Okay, next up this I don't know what this is. [snorts] Oh, it's the cat cigarette. No smoking. Wait. Oh, I forgot that this is cat weed. You're about to get high, Stormy. She's already getting high on something else over there. Wait, why does catwed smell like that? Can you smoke it? It smells like tea. Can Can I actually put this on fire? Like set it on fire and then Wait, let's see if she likes this. Let's see if this actually works. Stormy, look at what daddy got you. I know she's underage right now, but she can still smell cuz she has my permission. Look what daddy got you. Let's see if she's going to like it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I have never seen her this. Oh, no. Go ahead. Go ahead. Huh? I didn't know that my daughter was like a crazy pthead. Look at her going crazy. Oh my god. I have catweed, but it's She's never gone this Oh my god. She's going crazy over this. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. [laughter] I'm like a proud dad right now. My little Oh my god. I've never seen her this crazy before. This is like This is like weed, I guess, for her. Look at her. I'm actually scared that she's going to bite my fingers off. I've never seen her this aggressive. Look at her. She's a little happy butad. Sweetie, look what daddy got. I got more. I got more, sweetie. Daddy got more weed for you. Yeah. Go crazy over them weedies. Go crazy over them wedies. I've never seen her like this before. It's like a new daughter. Look at a a happy potter. Is that what Harry Potter? Oh my god. I should have bought these earlier. Look at her. I didn't know that they were going to make her this happy. Maybe Pot does make you Do not do that, kids. This gets a 10 out of 10. If the other toy gets a one out of 10, this one gets a 10 out of 10. Wait, what if I bite it? Like we can bond together, you know? Do you want me to bite it with you? No, she said [ __ ] out of here, fam. No, let's not do that. Okay, that was a score. Look at her. Um, this is like a few minutes later. She's still devouring those. Look at her. Get those for your cat, please. $20. They're worth it. A,000% worth it. Get those for your cat. Next up, I'm not going to keep you guys waiting. And let's go for the longest package that I Wait, can you Oh, I think you can see the design. It's already spoiled. This didn't come open, but my cat decided to rip it off. So, we're just going to open it. This is hu. This is I think the second most expensive. Oh my god. And it comes with instructions. We don't need those. This is the pink umbrella dog stroller. A portable pet stroller for small dogs and cats. And the pink one for some reason was the most expensive one or as I like to call it the pink tax. And I had to get her the pink. Like maybe yes. I'm a traditional dad and I'm following the gender norms. Whatever. You can cancel me. I just thought pink. She would like pink. Stormmy. Do not get scared. This is going to be your new toy. Wait. How do you open this? I don't know how to set this up. Wait. Wait, we're making progress, guys. Oh. Oh, where's the bottom? Wait, I'm a little confused here. Oh, wait. Oh, okay. We're figuring this out. Wait, how do you remove these? I hate when I have to do things that I don't know how to do them. Really, [ __ ] Really ruining my day already. So, I don't know how to set this thing up. So, obviously, I'm having my dad do it cuz he's the Bob the Builder of the House. Okay, looks like he's reading the instructions, which I'm like, come on. Like, do you really need to read that? You You should have done it already. I hate it when people don't know how to do stuff. You know what I mean? Okay, we got this set up. I mean, I got this set up cuz I knew how to do this. I don't actually read instructions. I don't need that. Those are for losers. But look at this. Now, let's open this up. Wait, there's something in here. Like, what is this for? Or is this like too Oh, if you have a leash or something. Oh, Stormmy doesn't need that. No, that's for losers. Mm-m. It looks so comfortable in here. Like, it looks like she's going to live in there better than those people that live in those tiny New York apartments. Okay, moment of truth. Let's see if I can get her in here. Stormy. Daddy hopes that you like this. I spent a lot of money on this. [laughter] I spent a lot of money on a lot of money. Okay. Okay. Oh my god. I think she likes it. Look at her. Look at her. She's She's staying. She's staying. Now imagine us like this. She's serving diva. Your dogs will hate us. So, let's go try this outside. But she's staying. She's chilling. She's actually enjoying this. Okay, let's go. Good morning, everyone. What? Oh, that's just me and my daughter. That's Tommy right there. Stormy, sweetie. I don't think she's uh doing bad at all. She's like exploring right now. [gasps] Stormmy, we're both out today. Good morning, neighbors. Morning, everybody. Just me and Stormmy here. Mhm. I think she's chilling. Oh, she's exploring. She's chill. Okay. She might not be enjoying that, but this is not bad. Really, let's take some mommy mommy videos right now. [music] Instagram. Just out with my daughter enjoying our day. Mhm. Doing errands, running errands and whatnot. Having a busy day today, running all these errands. Busy day. She I thought she was going to hate this, but she's actually not bad. Like, she's doing really well so far. Oh, baby. Who's me? What do you think about outside? It's scary. Huh? It's scary. I know, baby. It's scary. I hate it as well. >> Okay, I think that's enough torture for today. Oh, wait. I forgot you can put a water bottle in here. There's a water bottle right here that if I'm thirsty, I can like take a sip, you know. Paparazzi following us all day. Leave me alone. Oh my god. Okay, go, sweetie. You're out. You're up here, sweetie. Up here. Up here, baby. Oh my gosh. I think she's a little stupid. Sweetie, it's open right here. You can go out. Go. Go. You know how to get home. Okay, we don't need you to sniff that. Let's go home. Let's go home. There we go. Okay, so she has been clearly traumatized by going outside cuz she doesn't like going out. So, it's time to switch things up a little bit and we're going to try smart sculp massager. Do not confuse this with [music] the dumb sculpt massager. This is her sister, the smart one. Also, when I bought this, although it said cat, there's no cat in the picture. Are they just trying to sell this to cat owners for their cats? Anyways, if she doesn't like it, I'll use it. Oh my god. How is a cat supposed to open this if it's for cats? You really expect a cat to open? Uh directions. We don't read those. Ooh, this looks fancy. [gasps] Oh my god, [music] this looks like something from the future. Like futurist, I guess. Why does this look like a rose? Intelligent head. Oh, what's the IQ of this massager? Cuz they're saying smart on the box and intelligent. Okay. Hello. Don't tell me that you're supposed to charge it. I already bought it. The least you could do is charge this futuristic smart [ __ ] If it's smart enough, charge yourself. This is a futuristic. I have never seen a charger like this before. I just found something. Pet nodding comb. What does that even mean? There's a razor blade in there. Stormy has had a really stressful day doing absolutely nothing. So, it's time for her to sit back, relax, and enjoy her new futuristic smart massager. [music] Stormy, it's massage time, sweetie. It's a massage. Oh. Oh my god. She's liking it. Oh my god, she's liking it. She's enjoying it. [music] Is she closing her eyes? Is she closing her eyes? I think she's enjoying it. Ooh, there's an intense mode. If she's not going to like it, maybe I'll like it. Hold up. I mean, ow. Ow. Ooh. Jesus. What about the int? This hurts. What about the intense mode? No. No. No way anyone's buying this. Actually, hold up. I just thought of something. What if you use this for something else? Obviously, not dirty stuff. Get your head out of the gutter. You could use this for something else. And with these for my female viewers out there, I'm just saying. Actually, this feels good. Or take that back. Oh my god, it's hitting my neck. Oh my god, that feels good. Oh my god, that feels good. Okay, if someone could hold this for me, that actually feels good. >> Ladies, put this on me intense mode. Trust me. Time to take a quick break. Me and Stormy like to eat popcorn. Here you go, babe. That's her sweet treat so far. She's been working for it. She likes coconut. Yeah. Devour that [ __ ] sweetie. Make daddy proud. If there's something that she's good at it, it's eating. Same as her daddy. Treats over. Back to work. Okay, now let's try to mim. Feels good. >> Feels good. >> Feels good. >> All right. Relax. >> Relaxing. Mhm. >> Oh, no. Let's not do that. Let's undo that. Let's It Okay, that's going to ruin your hair. Okay, mystery box time. I honestly have no idea what's in this. Wait, is this what I think it is? It is what I think it is. So, as you can see, this is the mini DV. It's a camera. Although, there's no pets in here. They are literally scamming me. They put cat and dogs in the titles and in the pictures, but there's no cats cats and dogs in this because apparently with what I could find, this is supposed to be a camera for your cat. So, you know how cats go outside? You can spy through this camera. Wait, what if I put this in the attic for like a scary movie kind of vibe? You know what the hell is this? Who's going to dis disable disa dismantle disable dismantle? Who's going to mantle this up? Wait, I thought this was supposed to be for cats. I am confusion instruction. See, I knew it. Rotatable thumb action camera [music] pet. Great for capturing cats and dogs. Oh, I'm supposed to put this collar on Stormmy. Storm is about to become a vlogger. You know how I said I don't support family channels? Well, now I do. I changed my mind. You're about to get some premium content from Somi right now. I'm trying. It's not working. Oh my god, the quality. Is this 4K quality? Stormy, wait. Can you guys see Stormy? >> I think it's recording, right? I don't know. Okay, let's set this up on Oh, we're out of battery. We barely got We got like 10% battery on this [ __ ] What are you doing, Stormy? Are you trying to expose Daddy in 4K? Is that a C? No, that's not a camera. That couldn't possibly be a camera. It's too small. How's the quality looking at them? Does daddy look good? I wouldn't mind starting a family channel. You know, everyone has a camera. I have a camera. Stormmy has a camera. As long as she doesn't expose me. Like, do give my give my good angle, sweetie. Wait, let me Why is she like literally just staring at me? Like she knows that the camera is there, so she's like, "I got you, bitch." Look at her. She's literally pointing the camera at me. Look at me. What are you doing? You're exposing daddy, aren't you? You're exposing daddy's dirty secrets. What? Oh, I think she's showing you your p her paws. Hi. What are you doing? You're still recording me, aren't you? What's going on here? Is this like a secret cam or something? Stony, what did daddy tell you about recording me when I'm taking a [ __ ] >> Get out of here with that monkey. Get out of here. Okay, next box. This is the lickum cat. Oh my god, I saw this. Everyone was buying this, by the way, and I had to try it with Stormmy. Apparently, people were saying that when you use this, cats feel like they're being licked by their mom. So, it kind of reminds them of their mom. Now, everyone knows that I'm Storm's dad/mom. And uh I got to give give her that feeling. Wait, do I have to put this in my mouth? No. Oh my god, this looks nasty. This looks like a cow's tongue. Wait, is that here? This looks like someone else used it, by the way. They returned it and then they put it on sale again. No, I'm going to wash this [ __ ] This is nasty. Tell me why this looks like my mouth guard. This literally looks just exactly like it. Imagine if if I was sleeping with this though instead of my mouth guard. Hey, very girl. How are you? What? You want a quick click? Oh, I got you. [snorts] This is so weird. I'm going to look like a creep with this. Like, Stormy, sweetie, where are you? Baby, come here. Okay, let's try this. I don't know what I'm doing. It's coming. It's your daddy. It's your daddy. I'm trying to connect with you. I'm connecting. Sumi, do you feel connected with daddy? Huh? Do I look like a normal daddy? Just her daddy and her daughter connecting. Bonding. She is so weird at all. She's like, "What's going on, Tommy? I'm trying to bond with you. We're bonding. We're on it." Okay, we're clearly not bonding. Next product, the backpack. Or as I like to call this, the submarine. Cuz tell me this doesn't look like a submarine inside, you know? And I'm the most excited for this cuz I saw a lot of people using this on TikTok. Like, >> I think he likes shopping. He loves looking out this little window. >> Look at how cute that looks. >> He's having a good old time. He's a happy cat. Now, I know me and Stormmy, we're both introverts, but this is going to be an excuse for both of us to go out cuz just imagine me and Stormmy over here. Like, we're walking outside and Smi is right behind me. You know, I'll probably feel more confident. So, let's go try this outside. Let me wear this. How do we look? Do we look good? Wait, let's take a look at Stormmy back there. Does she look comfortable? She Okay, she's a little annoyed, but she'll be fine. Imagine going out at the airport with your cat with this. This looks fun. Stormmy can get her like outside time. We probably look amazing right now, right? Can you guys see Stormy? H does Stormy look comfortable? Stormy, what are you doing, sweetie? Here, touch my finger. Touch my finger. [music] Stormy, she's not liking this as much as the the other thing. Wait, hold up. Let me take a look at her cuz I haven't seen her. Stormy, how are you doing, sweetie? Oh, baby. Hi, Stormy. Look, there's a window here. There's a window here. Oh, baby. There's a window. You don't like it? I don't think she likes it. Guys, let's take her back. I'm not even going to wear this cuz she is not enjoying this. Watch her go out. Watch her go out. Go. Oh. Oh, she's chill. Okay, never mind. I thought she was going to panic or something. Hey yo, toss me in the next box. Thank you. We got a running cat toy. I think Storm is going to enjoy this one cuz the video that I saw on Tik Tok, cats were going crazy over this. Apparently, this is the next big thing. When you're too busy to play with your cat, you can just use this. And you know what? I'm a busy guy. I'll admit. So, maybe Storm is going to enjoy this one. Stormmy. Stormmy. Look at what daddy got. Daddy got something for you, Stormmy. Oh, there she is. Daddy got a gift for you. You're going to like this one. Running cat toys user manual. Oh my god. This looks fancy. This looks huge. Okay, that's the thing that she's going to chase the the whatever that is. Oh, I forgot it's like a whole machine. Like a motor. Wait, this looks like a staple. This is heavy. What the [ __ ] is this? This is why you need someone in your house to do things for you? Cuz do you really expect me to set this up? I can unbox it, yes. But to set this whole thing up, how is someone supposed to set this up? By the time I set this up, I flick with Tommy like 20 times already. There's more. Hold on. There's more. Oh, hold on. There's more. Dad. Okay, guys. I think we're almost ready here. We just set it up. And by we, I mean my dad. Let's turn it on. Oh, it's working. It's working. Oh my god, it's working. It's working. It's working. Oh, she's getting it. Oh, she's upset. Actually, she's happy. She's like, "What the hell?" Oh, her instincts, her prayer instincts are on. She's like, Stormy, you haven't gone it once, girly. Get get it. Go. Actually, it's too fast. Let's go a little slower. I got it slower. Okay. Okay. Do I need to go slower? Stormmy, I know you're a fat ass, but like come on. Don't disappoint Daddy right now. Oh, she got it when it stopped. She got it. She got it. She got it. Look at her. Daddy's proud of her. She got it. >> Okay, let's try two toys. Get it, Stormy. Get it. Get it. Well, that's nice. Jesus. So, this is our big boy. This is the biggest product that I have, and this is where most of the budget went. Actually, I think this was like 70% of the budget for this [music] video. Let me just open this for you. I hate that noise that it does. It kind of like makes me cringe. Oh my god. We got to build things. I didn't know this was IKEA. What are we Are you serious? What? Dad. Okay, it's the next day and this is finally built. It took me 5 hours. And by me, I mean my dad. She spent the entire day fixing this. And we actually tried with Stormmy once. She went on this for less than half a second and she was annoyed. I didn't think that her fat ass was going to like this, but it's day two. Let's give it a try. Will she do it for a treat? Okay, here we go. I put a treat in there. So, please. Daddy spent a lot of money on this. Daddy spent a lot of money on this. Here's the treat. Here's Where's the treat? Did her ass just absorb the treat? I don't think it's working, guys. cuz I think she's just eating the treat. She's not moving at all. This is not good. Stop me. Just once, sweetie. I know it's not a good thing. Just once, dude. She's not moving at all. Well, that was successful. What if I try this? Cuz this looks fun. I'm not going to lie. Oh [ __ ] Oh no. I think I'm going to break it. No, no, no. Wait, but how do I run now? Oh. Oh, I Okay, that's it. I'm done with this. So, what do I do with this now? Okay, this is going straight to the donation box. Someone, a cat who wants this is going to use it and they're going to love it. Maybe that's not you, but someone else is going to get it for free. Yeah, the walk of walk of shame. Yeah, run away. Low key though, I'm not mad at her because if I had to do all of this just to lose some weight, double it and give it to someone else, which I'm doing it. I'm giving it to someone else, but I'm not doubling it. A cat is going to love this. Not Stormy, though. Next up, whatever this is. Apparently, someone opened this. I don't know if you can see it, but you guys know that I'm a normal human being, so I won't open it from there. Oh my god, I forgot that I actually got this. This is supposed to be the buff Stormy. I think we're going to put this on her and let's see if it actually looks good. Look where she I think she's hiding from me. She's done with this video. She's like, "Fuck out of here, fam." Okay, Stormmy. I know you don't work out, so let's brea Oh my god. I I mentioned workout and she started running. [music] I know you don't work out, sweetie. So, let's Okay, Stormy. Stormy. I think this is a little She She looks a little uncomfortable. Look at She looks buff as hell. Like, she looks like she could beat up your dog. And for our next product, we have the electric spray handle massage brush. Cuz Stormmy has had a rough day today doing all those annoying stuff that she didn't want to do. And it's time for another massage. This is different though because this has a this is electric and it has a mist spray to relax her. Wait, I have to fill this up with water. Oh, maybe she'll like this cuz she feel this feels like one of those cat stuff that they like to brush themselves with. You know what I mean? adds a mist to this, you know, and like noop. Let's see if I can uh have Stormy enjoy this. Okay, so this one I'm a little confused cuz the water was squirting everywhere. It's supposed to be a steamer. I hope it works cuz I charged it last night. And it also says prevents hair from flying randomly. The cats that I saw for this video were so happy. And I'm [music] guessing it's a hair remover. So, let's turn this on. Oh, it's working. Well, that went well. [snorts] Oh my god, the steam looks so good. Look at this. Wait, why is the steam cold? Isn't it supposed to be warm? Take number two. [music] Let's just do it without the steamer. Okay. See, it's just a comb, sweetie. Just a comb. Nothing bad going on with it. Okay, this was a waste of money. Maybe I can do it on my arm here. Here real quick, though, you know. Oh, it's dripping. What happened? What happened? Did it break on me, guys? It broke. Okay, it's dripping water everywhere. This is a fail. Okay, so that was all the products that I had for this video. This video took us like a week to record with everything that we had and it was a huge waste of money. Why does she kind of look like Trump here with that wig? If it was Oh my god, I should have got an orange one. She literally looks like Dono Trumpo. The only product that I recommend, the cigarette, cuz she was going Look at this. As soon as she smells that, she goes crazy over the cigarette. You got Look at that. The cigarette is definitely the key. Here you go. Catch. And she goes crazy. If you're going to buy something, it has to be this. The cigarette. Did she enjoy this video? No. I say that as she's devouring that. Do you hear that? That's her chewing on the cigarette. But if you did enjoy it for the sake of Stormy, please hit like, subscribe, and the bell icon. Will we be doing this again? No. Member shout out. Thank you. Oh my god, they changed the usernames to ads. I don't like this. I can barely read their names. Lazy fan, tweet the fish, Abru, Sandy, Melissa, Midnight Reptiles, Alone on Fire, Lissa, Brianna, Pinky, Julius, and Do you want to try the wheel again, sweetie, before we leave? You can try it if you want. Do you want to try this? No. Okay. Okay, guys. She doesn't want to try the wheel. Byebye. [music]

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