How To Be A Startup Founder

raise venture capital for a company based on a pitch that follows whatever the current trend or virtue signal is, whether that's big data, internet of things, artificial intelligence, or climate change. Then assign yourself the role of CEO or CTO, and pay yourself at least $170,000 per year with some extra benefits and bonuses sprinkled on top. Additionally, network with prominent people in your industry and government. Maybe even get some of them to join your board of directors. Next, try to get your company additional investments through some kind of taxpayer funded innovation initiative. Once you get the investment, do the bare minimum to keep the company running until you run out of funding and can't raise any more rounds. Then, the company will eventually fail or get acquired for an amount of money that's less than the sum of the input investments. To the uninformed general public, this might even look like success. At this point though, you've already been paying yourself a handsome salary for years, and you can just shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh, well, I tried.

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