When Your Diet Lasts 4 Seconds

It's feeding time. By the way, I put beans in here. That's why it looks like cat food. It really does. >> I separated the food with the cat food, and they kind of look like the same, you know. Wait, this is still Ew, that smells nasty. Ew, I forgot that the food was here. Now, if you thought that was weird, you must be new here. Hi, my name's Lazy. I'm the mayor of Big Back City. Does anyone remember the butter tuck community that we talked about last year where it was this trend where people were just eating raw butter. Some of it was unpasteurized raw butter. And I personally thought it was just a trend that people were doing it for views. Like, oh my god. Okay, cool. You got some views. Now what? And then a year later, this community is alive and well and [music] thriving because it grew so much. It also reached the rich community. And now there's like this giant community of people just eating raw butter. >> My husband and I are flying to Italy. So instead of eating seed oil cooked airplane food and overpriced airport snacks, I packed a delicious home-cooked ribeye and a frozen block of butter. It's clearly not frozen here since I was the perfect consistency to dip my cold steak [music] slices into. Anyone else refused to eat airplane food, too? >> Girl, what? This [ __ ] was not relatable. She made it so like she was trying to relate to people. Anyone else does not want to eat seed oil cooked food on an airplane where you've been traveling for like 10 hours and all you can think of? Ew. I do not want to eat seed oil foods. I'd rather eat ribeye steak dipped in raw butter. Very relatable. Your cardiologist is so excited for the new home you'll buy. Overpriced air food says the lady flying on a 20k first class. I didn't even Oh my girl, stop. >> And I are flying to She's in first class eating seed oil cooked airplane food. >> You're flying first class and you're telling me right now that you're thinking about overpriced airplane food? Be be so [ __ ] for real right now. And I did some digging thinking like what if she's actually doing this, you know, just to rage bait people cuz oh look, I eat raw butter with meat, guys. You know, I'm uh I'm special like that. I'm quirky. But then I took a look at her profile and she says she's a carnivore for seven years and all she eats is literally butter. But butter meat meat meat meat meat. Her account is mostly just her showing people what she does with butter. Oh my god. [gasps] Is this a butter ice cream? That looks nasty. I am not going to click on that. Wait, stop. Ignore whatever this lazy is saying. You need to go to lazy.store. store right now. We might have this amazing new merch. This is not a drill, people. I repeat, this is not a drill. New merch. Okay, I'm out. And not only was the rich community adapting this diet, it was basically everyone that I could find, including the parents that make parent content, and they're making these life hacks where they're giving their kids raw butter to eat as if it was a a lollipop or dessert. Little bedtime trick for moms. What is she doing? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my god. If my mom gave me that [ __ ] I would disown her. Not that I owned her, but I would I probably leave. You know what I mean? Cuz you know how when you're a kid, you always threaten to leave your house? You're like, "If if you don't buy this from me, I'm going to leave my house." I might have threatened like 20,000 times and I never left. But for some reason, I thought it would work. But if she did this [ __ ] to me and she gave me, she's like, "Hey, sweetie. Snack time." And I see a pacifier with butter on it. Like, you'd probably think, "Oh, mom, she she got me ice cream. I'm going to eat. I'm going to be having pacifier with ice cream tonight." And it's a pacifier with raw butter. I don't say this often, but I would have probably beaten my mom's ass. I give my son motor oil before sleeping. Also, relax. I give my daughter AC fluid. It helps her stay cool during the summer. Someone said, "I do this, but use a mix of coconut oil healthier than Wait, oh my god, people are being serious. I thought I was going to read like a funny comment." This is what I mean by this community is getting bigger. Fentinel works really well. [snorts] And you're probably wondering, why are they giving their children butter? What is so special about butter? Well, it's not just butter. It's nonpasteurized butter. Non-pasteurized butter, also known as raw butter, is made from cream that has not undergone pasteurization. This type of butter retains more of its natural enzymes and beneficial bacteria, which some people can be advantageous for digestion and overall health. And it sounds pretty good, like, oh wow, maybe everyone should be eating raw butter, like that unpasteurized raw butter. until you read the the the end there that says, "However, it's important to know that due to the potential risk of bacterial contamination, unpasteurized butter should be consumed with caution." And you have parents giving that [ __ ] to kids as if it's ice cream. And I saw this girl or Tik Tok or whatever she was. And she says, "Eating packs of butter because I refuse to use AI for my music video. No one's forcing you to eat the butter. >> You don't have to use AI and you also don't have to eat the butter. Do you think people in movies eat the nasty [ __ ] that they eat? It's just props. They don't actually eat the nasty stuff. No one's forcing you to eat eight packs of butter, baby girl. How [snorts] is that connected to your music video? You could have made something that looks like butter to eat. And imagine her watching this, reading this comment, and she was like, "Wait, why didn't I think of that?" Wait, Stormmy needs to be fed again. [music] And no, relax. I won't eat her food again, weirdos. >> Look at her. She goes out. Look at her. Look at her. She's looking. Hold up. Hold up, baby. Hold up. Cuz you know daddy's a fat ass. Hold up. >> Dinner is served. Wait, what are you guys doing over there? Going to watch her eat. Oh, okay. Not hating on the butter community though, cuz when I did that video last year and I tried the butter myself, that was lowkey, highkey, midkey, mid-tier key. That [ __ ] was good. I mean, maybe it's the condensed milk, but because condensed milk makes everything taste good. But that butter with condensed That was so tasty. Another trend that's always going to be my favorite is what I eat in a day because you never know what people are actually eating during the day. And the one that I found really interesting was this guy that made what I eat in a day, but instead of showing us what he eats during the entire day, he shows what he eats during breakfast. And I'm like, what's going on during breakfast that the entire video is just breakfast? And I click on it. And I'm like, oh, oh, mood, you guys, today for breakfast, we're going to be eating cereal. Let's get it prepped. >> And he got a small bowl here. A small American small size. And he captured this mood day. Oh, he's like a like a bad or good mood. Wait, zoom in on that. Zoom in on that word real quick. Is that the same word in English? Mhm. The the a tiny Wait, let's take a look at the Okay, it's matching a tiny bowl. Okay, tiny snack. Oh, a tiny snack for breakfast. Oh, this is one of my favorite cereals today. Are you can devour this like in less than 5 minutes? >> Did he just say he can devour that [ __ ] in less than 5 minutes? >> I would be best friends with this deodorant. [gasps and laughter] Oh, this is my kind of breakfast. Like literally less than 5 minutes, you guys. Can you guys love the mouth is being like so watery right now? >> Am I the only one that's like hearing him? I think he's getting a little horny, which I totally get. I am not going to sit here and pretend that I'm a better person when I have have moaned so many times when I've eaten a bunch of food. Like when I eat Chipotle, when I ate that new ice cream, when I eat, you know, I'm not a better person. I'm going to admit I've gotten horny plenty of times when I when I when I've eaten good food. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> You pour the gallon of milk. >> Uh-huh. >> Of course. >> Of course. >> Oh my god, the Californiaifornian accent. A instantly clocking that accent. That accent is like I'm sorry. I love it. I love the Californiaifornian accent. >> Chill out. Ooh. Oh my god. >> Let's see, guys. I love it when the Oreos get all soggy. Mhm. Oh my god, that looks so good. >> Oh my god. Ooh, the slurp. O, that got me. That got me good. Oh my god. I feel like we are interrupting something. You know what I mean? Like I don't think we should be watching this. >> This feels personal. >> This is so good. >> I usually do two packs, but I'm hungry today. So, >> he's dieting. Yeah, of course he's dieting. Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. Dam. >> Oh my god. He's actually going to eat that entire thing. [applause] I'm not a hater. I'm just a jealous person that he's not sharing that [ __ ] with me. And for all you saying that, "Oh my god, Lazy, that is so unhealthy. That's like so many calories. He probably devoured like 4,000 6,000 calories. That's insane." Uh, are you deaf? Are you Are you stupid? Did you just get a labbotomy or some [ __ ] Did you not hear the same sentence that I heard where he said he wanted to eat three, but usually he stays on the on the diet lower side? And he only eats two packs of Oreos for cereal instead of three. Y'all got to stop stop judging and stop hating. Just because that couldn't be you doesn't mean you should be hating. Big bro, do better. Get double stuff. More filling and more calories. Ooh. The double stuff though, I'm going to be honest. I controversial opinion. The double stuff sucks. I'd rather prefer the the cookie, the chocolate cookie, than the filling. [applause] >> Wait, I just realized this is part one. [laughter] What happened in part two? Oh my god. Is there a scientific explanation for why we're all watching this? Yeah, cuz it looks good and we're hungry. And obviously me being the janitor of YouTube, I cannot let this [ __ ] slide. We're going to watch a video and we're not going to test if it's good or not. Like, what if he was lying? What if he was faking the moan like it's good but it's not good. I am going to be taking the hit for you guys yet again. I'm going to be the target and I'm going to be the slob of everyone and I'm going to try this for you guys. >> Yeah, I'm going to do it cuz I'm the victim. >> If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. And we're Ooh, toffee. Ooh, wait. Where's my peanut butter ones? Oh my god. Hello. Peanut butter. Wait, am I blind? I'm not seeing the peanut butter. You know what? Let's get the tofi then cuz I don't see the peanut butter. They don't have peanut butter. >> Want to see though? They're raisins. We got to try these. I got to go to a different store for the peanut butter ones cuz how do you not have peanut butter ones? Look at this. No one buys this [ __ ] but they have it. But the peanut butter ones that everyone buys, where are they? You know, I have to drive to a different store to see if they have my peanut butter. Peanut butter. Oh my god, they don't have Oh my god. What is this? What is this? Which one of y'all big bags? Bought these all. Oh my god. I got to go to to a different store. Okay, after searching three different stores, I finally got them. Apparently, there's a Oreo peanut butter shortage out there. So, to each their own. It felt like zombie apocalypse cuz these were the last two. And if someone was going to try grabbing it before me, you I was going to get violent. And as you can tell, I did get the thin ones. The tamasu, we got to try. Not that I wanted to try these. I actually got the thin ones because uh I'm on a diet and I didn't want to get the regular ones cuz those [music] have a lot of calories. So that's why I went for the thin ones, obviously. Wait, low key, I've never seen these before. Enter. Like, you expect me not to buy this? Oh my god, these are thin. They look like they're on a zeic. Ooh. Oh my god. They smell smell it. That smells so good. That actually tastes like a [music] tiramisu. Like a dollar store tiramisu. Next up, Toffee Crunch. I've never tried these as well. So, I mean, before I do this, I got to try them just to make sure that they're safe cuz what if they're like expired, you know? Oh my god. Toffee. Okay. They're a little boring compared to the tamasu ones. They're a little boring. And the peanut butter ones, these are my favorite. [laughter] My life expectancy just increased by at least 5 years. Stop. Stop. Okay, let's do this. Oh, I think that's a lot. They're not going to fit in here. Hold up. Let me get the thinnies cuz I'm worried about those calories right now. Yeah, let's use the thinnies. Okay. Okay. And the milk. Wait, I just realiz I realized that I have to microwave this. Right. One down. One more to go. Oh my god. Okay. I feel like this is going to make a mess. I didn't think about this. Oh, they're drown. Oh. Ooh. Okay. This is perfect. And I'm going to say something controversial right now. This is going to offend a lot of people, but if you're eating your Oreos with cold milk, you're nasty. There's no way you expect me not to heat this up. So, I'm going to put it in the microwave for I've never warmed I don't know. 5 minutes. I'll be back. 5 minute timer is on. Hopefully, that's enough. I don't know. I've never heated up two gallons of milk with Oreos in the fridge before. Oh, they're ready. Okay. Straight out of the microwave. Microwave [music] for five. I cannot begin to explain [music] the smell. [snorts] Oh my god. It's very hot. It's very Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Hold up. >> Wait. Can they see me, Jonas? And obviously you have to get the right spoon for this. So I got my mini spoon here. Uh-huh. Oh my. Oh my god, they're soft. Oil is not too hot. Okay. Mhm. [music] Stop. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras right now. I don't care. I'm going to be honest right now. This is probably the best life hack that we have ever tried on camera. [sighs] I hope I don't get myself dirty, but this is insane. It's so tasty. Like you I know it doesn't look as good, but God promise. I promise you the warm milk when you get the peanut butter. Storm is looking at me. She's judging me. Stormmy, do not judge daddy. Okay, this isn't the worst thing that you've seen me do. Have you seen the food that you eat? That's nasty. I'm sorry. I realized that I turned into those crumble cookie hoes. You know how they were slurping cookies? I'm literally slurping Oreos right now. But they're good though. More milk. More milk. The milk has now has this peanut butter flavor. Like peanut butter flavor milk. Okay. Successful life hack. [clears throat] Talking about diabolical things, which we weren't, but I wanted to transition. So, let's pretend that we were talking about diabolical things. Taco Bell has just released a Baja Blast pie. And that [ __ ] looks insane. Cuz when I was watching videos of people trying that [ __ ] it looked so weird. Besides the color, cuz have you seen the color? That looks like the most natural color I've ever seen. Look, look at this [ __ ] Oh my god. >> It's giving Baja Blast key lime pie. >> This color alone, it looks so toxic. Like it's going to if I eat it, it's going to give me superpowers and it's probably going to be spitting acid or something. What exactly did they use to bake this? A a nuclear reactor. So, a Baja Blast spy dipped in Baja Blast drink. So, it's like a Baja Blast infusion. >> 10 out of 10. >> There's no way it's that good. >> It's like a pregnancy craving, but I'm not pregnant. >> Period. >> Thank you for clarifying that cuz I was like, is this girl pregnant? This really does look like type of dessert that they would serve in Area 51. So, this girl looks like she was enjoying it, right? Like she said it was really good. And when I was looking at more videos, I saw the consistency of this pie. And tell me why this [ __ ] looks like Play-Doh. You can't even break it. >> Like, it's hard to like rip apart. >> Why would it be so hard? Is it actual Play-Doh? Now, you know where this is going. I don't even have to say the transition cuz me being the Taco Bell expert. Do you really think that I'm not going to give this a try? And since my family has been here for a year and last time, I actually gave them Dolce de Leche, but I feel like their taste buds are still working. And we got to fry them a little more cuz they really haven't had [music] the the food that we have here in America. Throw me the broom. You know, I'm the janitor. Yeah, I got it. >> Hi. Do you guys have the Mandu Baja Blast Pie? >> No, we don't. >> You don't? >> No. >> Oh, okay. Thank you then. >> Of course. >> Oh, that was a disappointment. >> So, I decided that I was going to drive to another location to see if they have it. But I'm like, what if they don't? And I end up driving there for nothing because things are really far here. Like, I live in the middle of nowhere and there would have been a way. So, I'm like, let me call them ahead to see if they have it. And uh they didn't have it. So then I'm like, you know what? I'm going to call another location and another location and another location. So I end up calling a bunch of locations to see if they had it. And every single one of them told me no until I learned that this pie was so limited that it was giving me the Starbucks Bear Cup vibes. And I think I called like half of Connecticut. I was willing to drive hours just to a Taco Bell who had this damn pie. But none of not a single one of them had this pie. And one of the locations that I called said they actually ran out the first day that they came out and it was like four or five days late. So apparently the entire Connecticut was hungry for a stupid pie and that's why they ran out so quick. Like have you guys never had a had a Bob last pie before? I'm guessing you guys haven't since it's like a limited new thing. So I'm Yeah, everyone wanted a pie. And I was going to end the video there like, oh, with a disappoint. Like, I'm sorry you guys, I couldn't find the pie. Like, it's not my fault that the pie is nowhere to be found. Until I [music] thought about this desperate website where a man should never go when he's desperate. [music] And no, I'm not talking about Phub. I'm talking about eBay. We got it. We got I found it. I found limited edition Mountain Dubah Blast. Unopened, sealed, and frozen. $175 plus $50 shipping. $175 plus $50. It's probably going to be like $230 with taxes. It's a $20 pie. What's the profit on this? Like the profit is what? $210. That is wild. Seller does not accept returns. Why? What did you do with the spy, sir? Huh? Did you stick your dick in there or something? How do I know that he didn't do that? There is no way you guys expect me to spend $230 for a dumbass [ __ ] P. I got it. This is probably the most expensive thing [music] that I've ever bought for a video before. I mean, come on. I had to buy it. If you're going to trust a review, it's going to be from a person who's unbiased like me. This was actually delivered to me frozen and they handed this to my mom. And then I look at the box when she brings it up here and the box is upside down. She didn't know that I ordered a pie. So, let's just hope it there's it's not full of crumbles or like it's messed up. And my parents are upstairs. I'm going to call them. And you're about to watch them lose their Baja Blast virginity. [laughter] No, low key though, they've never had a Baja Blast, so they're going to try it for the first time cuz I want to compare what this tastes like compared to the pie. You know what I mean? Also, please do not mention the price of this pie to my parents. Do not leave any comments about the price. They're Eastern European. How do you think they're going to react if they found out that I >> Okay, everybody, for the first time ever in a video, my parents. [cheering] >> Hello. >> Hi. Hello. >> Hi. Hello. Okay, so I'm going to give you the pie and the drink first. But first, let's open up this pie. I don't even know what it looks like. What does it smell? I feel like they they threw perfume perfume on this. Okay, it is sealed. The Mountain Dew Baja Blast Pie. So now I'm I'm safe cuz I'm like what if another guy opened this and he ate it, you know? You guys can take a look at it first. Oh, so this is the pie. Oh [ __ ] it's frozen. We're going to have to microwave it. Look, we're doing an unboxing of this [ __ ] This looks so bad. Actually, it smells good. It smells like a pie. What do you think? >> M good. >> Smells good. >> Mhm. >> Why is is different? >> You mean the color? >> Yeah. Colors, everything. >> It's organic pie. This is Everything about this is organic. That's why it looks like that. Try an organic Baja Blast first. >> Nice. [laughter] I like it. I like it. She's like me. Oh my god. It's >> good. >> Is it good? >> Mhm. >> Actually, I don't know what a Bob Blast Bob Blast tastes like. >> Oh, it's good. Okay, now try this. [music] See if Oh, it is. It's not frozen. I thought it was frozen. Okay, try it. Tell me what you think. It's good. >> It's good. >> Mhm. >> Okay, you can try. >> I like it. >> You like it more than this one? She likes the pie more than the actual Baja Blast. >> Tasty. They are same same tasted. >> Same taste. >> Mhm. >> Actually, >> because I I think are are cousins. >> Yeah, probably cousins from Alabama or something. >> Maybe. >> Let me try this cuz I haven't tried it actually. Has anyone seen this? They didn't get any piece of the pie at all. Like they just got the uh the smooch here. Okay, let me try the piece of the pie. It's okay. Yeah. Get more smooch. For me, it's good. >> It's good. >> Mhm. >> It's good. >> Delicious. >> Okay. I don't know why they're enjoying this, honestly. Wait, what if we get a bite with the thing? Are you guys seeing what I'm doing? I'm cooking here. I am cooking. Look at this. Are you getting the bite here? Hold up. I kind of like that better, honestly. Okay, thank you everybody. Me parents. >> How How much? >> What? How much did the pie cost? >> Yeah. Uh $22. >> What? >> 20? It's not I know it's a little bit expensive, but it's $22. >> Wow. >> Okay. >> I know it's an expensive pie. I wish it was a little cheaper. Like what are these doing these Americans? $22 for a pie. That's crazy. Like America, get it to get $22. Come on. >> What if they see that the eBay listing? I'm going to I have to cry and eat this [ __ ] I spend Oh my god. Oh my god. Look at there's no taste though. Like this is better. The drink is way better than the pie. Damn it. Might as well dump some bar blast on the [ __ ] pie. [laughter] Wait. Wait. They're talking. Oh my god. God, I think they're talking about the pie. Wait. Oh my god. They're talking about how expensive it was. Oh, I cannot post this [ __ ] video. I cannot post this video. Oh my god. I got to delete receipts. I got to delete every Oh my god. So, this is actually a Tik Tocker called Meredith X Life. With the videos that I've watched so far, she does seem like a really nice person. And you're probably like, "Okay, lazy. So, what's uh what's so special about her?" Well, people are suspecting that this is crazy. [gasps] She has a microphone inside her stomach to capture the food that she eats, like the sounds that she eats, cuz she's kind of like a mix of mukbangers/ ASMR videos. It sounds like she actually has swallowed a microphone. >> Now I got nacho fries. And I'm going to pause say and this right here and say that nacho fries from Taco Bell are probably the the most bomb f we tried that [ __ ] with Tracy and oh my god the best fries. 10 out of 10. So any Taco Bell nacho fry hate will not be tolerated on this channel. >> They come with cheese. It's ch warm. >> I feel like we are listening her her stomach digesting [ __ ] Are you you hearing the noises? And I'm really trying to figure out where this microphone is. Maybe it's above her head, which I don't think it is because you can hear the fries so clear here. They're so crisp. If the microphone is not behind the fries, you know. Someone said, "Why am I hearing your digestion system? >> [laughter] >> Did I just hear her digestion? I need to know where is the That is such a good Wait, so it's not there. I thought when she removed the fries, the microphone was going to be right here, but it's not. She actually swallowed a [ __ ] mic, didn't she? Cuz there's no way we're hearing her digestive system work when the mic is outside. She swallowed a mic. This is some next level dedication when it comes to ASMR videos. But like, can you hear my digestive system? >> We are. >> What about my heart? Hold up. I was literally going to fart in front of you guys. I was going to become the next foodie beauty. Wait, what's going on? Oh my god. Oh, wait. tampons to absorb the oil from the beef. Don't mix it. Ew. Don't mix it like that. Ain't no way. Oh. Oh. Oh. Tell me why this wouldn't work. H Why wouldn't I try this? You know what I mean? Dude, it literally absorbed all the oil. [gasps] I mean, besides it being nasty. Tell me why this wouldn't work. Like, I'm always struggling to pour the oil. Some obviously I'm not pouring it down the drain. Relax. But like, why is this like the most effective life hack to actually absorb the Not only did it did it absorb the oil, it also absorbed the meat. Those tampons. I have never tried a tampon before. But are they really that good? Maybe I should try one of those. All those toxins go into the food. Really? That's what you're worried about right now? It's not the the the nasty tampon in your food, but it's the toxins from the tampon that you're worried about. Clean and season my chicken with me so I can marinate it for dinner tonight. bleach. What are we doing? What are we doing? Oh my god. All those seasonings. And you're still going to be able to taste the bleach in there. What is Oh, that's a lot of I like that. I like that. I ain't eating that, though. There is no way I'm eating that. This is why they always say you can't eat at anyone's house cuz this is disgusting. Like you go to your friend's house and you try their chicken. This chicken tastes good and then the aftertaste hits you of bleach and you're like why the [ __ ] does the chicken taste like bleach? And your friend's like, "Oh, my mom washes the chicken with a bleach." [ __ ] do you mean your mom washes? Why are y'all washing your your chicken with bleach? It's going to be cooked. The bacteria dies when you cook it. It It doesn't take an Einstein to know that [ __ ] Ew. I know so many people that actually wash their chicken with bleach. And I mean, I probably shouldn't be friends with them, but you know what? I'm not doing eating at their house. Anyways, if you did somehow enjoy this dumb video, please hit like, subscribe, and the bell icon. For my parents' taste buds sake, for the love of God, you just watched a chef burn her taste buds. And if you want to watch my videos a day early, you know what to do. I don't have to yap it at all. You know what? You become a member and you get to watch my videos at [music] free and sponsor free. >> Member shout out time. Thank you Levi, Sushka, Zezy, Baldi, Athena, Lisa, Gray, Luna, Huna, Cat, Luna, Huna, Alletino, that British woman. And you know what? Instead of me saying goodbye, I'll let Stormmy say goodbye. Oh my god, she's downstairs. I got to go get her. Wait, why are we playing? Oh my god. Now I got to find her. She's usually right here sleeping. Stormy. Stormy, if you're running away right now. I don't have time for this [ __ ] Oh, she's not. I found her. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh my god. Look at this cutie patootie. [gasps] Oh my god. Such a cutie. [laughter] >> [gasps] >> Do [music] to do dot do do to do

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