Why Intimacy Feels Harder in an Addictive World | Ft. Dr. Anna Lembke

People are trading out the complexity of real human relationships which are very complex and very uncertain and engaging in sex with another human being is a dance, right? And it there's give and take and you know you describe sort of a being present and seeing uh you know that other person's expression with changing as you change how you're interacting that is sex with another human being. But we have replaced that because it's so complicated and makes us so vulnerable and takes a lot of work with a drug version of sex through for example pornography and masturbation where we are no longer you know interacting necessarily with another human although sometimes it can involve that but we're really just self- stimulating we're self soothing. It's it's really not sex at all. It's it's a drug that we're using and our own bodies become part of that drug. The orgasm is the goal and we're essentially replacing that intimacy which is so complicated and so makes us so vulnerable with this again this thing that we can have fine-tuned control over in the moment. And I think this is what I want to really highlight. You know we we often think of addiction as the pursuit of pleasure. And it may start out that way, but really addiction has very little pleasure in it. What it really is is the pursuit of control.

In the most addictive era in history, humans are trading the complexity of real intimacy for something easier to control. Dr. Anna Lembke explains that human relationships are uncertain, vulnerable, and complex. High-dopamine substitutes like pornography have replaced real life intimacy with self-stimulation, where orgasm becomes the goal and connection with another human being is no longer required. Where do you think the line is between healthy self-pleasure and something that begins to impact connection? ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com